Think Good Thoughts for Me

Well for those of you ladies who know
me these many years Id like to bring you up to date on myself and my family.--read more

One of our three bus drivers passed away the other evening. He has been battling cancer for a few months and lost the fight.--read more

I am some what going nuts.. I have a family of 11 now.This includes my sister and her two children who are still living with us.--read more

Hi Ladies, --read more

I just had a very good job interview this morning, and I'm reeeeealy hoping I'll get it.--read more

We travel down to London tomorrow so I can prepare with my supervisor for my viva (thesis defence) for my PhD, which is on Mondon afternoon.--read more

This is Louisa today, Wednesday, just over age six. Melisa took her picture with her Mothers-Day-present camera. Can't you just see who she is? I mean, besides a kid who really needs a haircut.

It was knitting circle today, and I'm glad my friends were here. We got bad news today: John lost the job he just started in February. It's probably for the best. It wasn't a good fit. Nevertheless, it's always frightening when this happens. We're going to be okay. We'll just keep on keeping on.

I've got a job interview tomorrow (Tuesday) morning for a phone sales rep postition.--read more

I am 46 years old today. I'm a bit melancholy, not because of turning a year older--consider the alternative, which I know intimately--but because it marks the beginnings of all my troubles last year. Anniversaries like that are always a little anxiety-inducing, no matter how illogical that may be. I'm expecting next weekend (my death anniversary--Mother's Day, lovely) I'll be a bit of a basket case. And my therapist is in France for the month, of all months. I'm trying to frame it internally in terms of rebirth and mothering--I died and came back on Mother's Day because I wasn't done raising my girls--but it's still a bit uphill.

We're planning on a dim sum brunch and that's about it. Josie has a cold and we have a ton of chores to do. The good news is, my insomnia seems to be subsiding a bit. I've started taking melatonin, just last night; we'll see if it helps. The biggest help so far has been a CD my therapist gave me. I don't have an iPod, so we've been playing it on the DVD player through the TV and putting the TV on sleep so it turns itself off. It's helped, and John says it's even helped him sleep better.

Update: Dim sum brunch accomplished. If you're in PDX, Wong's King is dim sum paradise. And then! John and the kids took me downtown and bought me a red iPod! And then! We went to free comic book day and got comix! wowser! Seriously, it's a great birthday. Comix and small, coveted, red electronix!

I put down our dog Kaila today. She was somewhere in the neighborhood of 16 to 18 years old, which is extremely old for a dog of her size. She was part Akita, part who knows what, a suspicious, conservative dog who wasn't much for public displays of affection: No licking the face, no excited dance when we came home, no head in my lap. She showed her love of her family by guarding us.

Kaila patrolled the yard, proudly, wearing a track along the fence where she'd march up and down guarding against possibly dangerous dogs, joggers and squirrels. She knew I was pregnant before I did; each time she'd suddenly glue herself to my side, sitting next to me the entire time and giving "strangers" (anyone who wasn't John) the fish eye. While she wasn't overly fond of the kids, she watched them like a hawk, and God help you if she didn't know you and you came near the yard when they were out there. When I became ill with fibromyalgia, and her own arthritis set in, she'd lie next to my chair and we'd both sigh and creak together when the weather would change.

No, Kaila wasn't demonstrative. I knew she was getting really old when she started letting me rub her tummy. And I knew it was time for her to go when she stopped patrolling, stopped eating and stopped barking at the Evil Mail Carrier, which was the highlight of her day. She couldn't hear, her eyesight was going, she was down to just bones, and she was having trouble making it outside before her bowels moved. It was time.

So today a vet came out to the house, we said goodbye, and she died.

I was not the best "boss" for Kaila, and she wasn't the best dog for me. But she was a good, good dog, and she loved us in her suspicious, conservative way, and we loved her in our disorganized, chaotic way. And I will miss her in every way.--read more

Some of you may know that Elizabeth Edwards, the wife of Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, is a sometime member of the TNH community. She's also, as you may know, a breast cancer survivor. Tomorrow the Edwardses are holding a press conference at noon. The word on CNN is that the news isn't good. I hope they're wrong. Think good thoughts.

Update: It's true; Elizabeth's cancer is back, and John is dropping out is NOT dropping out of the campaign to deal with it. I'm heartbroken, first and foremost because Elizabeth is such a wonderful woman, and secondly because John was my guy this presidential cycle. I was on the phone for a good chunk of the press conference and missed that he would be remaining in the campaign--yay! at least for me.

Elizabeth, on the very off chance you see this, I will be praying for a quick and easy recovery. Bless you.

Just heard this morning that my step-mom is in the hospital as a result of some pulmonary embolisms (blood clots in the lungs). We don't know a lot -- at least, my dad doesn't seem to know a lot, except that she is very ill and no one wants to say what will happen next. We know that she will probably be in the hospital until close to Christmas or beyond, even in the best case. --read more

At our little UU congregation, we do a thing called Joys and Concerns. In "regular old" churches, I think it'd be called community prayer or something. A person comes up, lights a candle, and shares something good or something bad with the congregation.

This week I have both a joy and a concern to share. The concern is that John (who posts here as JJ) lost his job Thursday. Naturally, we're a little upset.

The joy is that he's started going through his contacts, letting people know he's looking, and the response he's gotten has been more than heartening. John has done a lot over the years to help others--people looking for work, friends down on their luck, or co-workers struggling to learn the ropes. He's been overwhelmed with offers of help. And that gives us hope that we can get through this.

I've got an interview tomorrow (Tuesday) with a very cool non-profit for a Development position (fundraising/special events/marketing/public relations for those who don't know that catch word). I'm about to start pulling my portfolio together to show samples of my previous work--this may take the rest of the afternoon.--read more

Tomorrow is DD's surgery. She has a cyst on her throat where an adam's apple would be if she were a man.

It is all a bit more complicated than we earlier believed, with concerns about bleeding, swelling that will shut her trachea, and post surgical infection risk. --read more

Whew!!
We're really doing this. We leave our house here in Utah this week, drive the long drive to Indiana with 2 kids under 3, and live out of suitcases til our stuff meets up with us. So, I may not be able to come and read all the uplifting thoughts on here, but think of us anyway!! I'm so excited to be moving to a new place, to meet new people, have a whole new experience, etc.--read more

Just got word, my grandmother is in the ICU for pneumonia. Her prognosis appears to be good, but it's worrisome.

MIL has been in ICU, in critical condition, and on a respirator since surgeries (one scheduled, one emergency-about 2 hours after the first) last Wednesday.

We are still expecting recovery but know it will be a long road for all.--read more

Late Friday afternoon, I noticed a lump on DD5's throat. It looked just like she had an adam's apple. I took her to the pediatrician this morning, and it looks like we are in for a week of tests.

She has an ultrasound this afternoon at the hospital and then a round of blood tests because they want to get a white cell count. --read more

My parents are down in North Carolina visiting my brother, his wife, and their 7 children. (My parents are recently retired.)Anyway, I talked to my mom today, about an hour ago, and found out that all 7 kids, and my dad have influenza. They are better than yesterday, but not a whole lot...--read more

DH was involved in an accident while bar b queing this weekend. His hands, arms, feet and legs are burned with 2nd degree burns. He is in the ICU unit of the local hospital. They have talked of tranfering him to a burn center a couple of towns away but they will reevaluate in the morning.--read more

DH's family received some hard news yesterday. His mother has cancer, a fast growng type in her trachea. It is interferring with her breathing and eating, she was put on oxygen last Thursday.

They will take her back to the dr's tomorrow to discuss options, they have already been told they can not operate on it. --read more

Well I got word today, I got the job with the hospital! I am happy and sad all at the same time. And just to think...at 39 I can say I am retiring from one job and starting another....weird. Job starts January 9.--read more

Go give your love and support to Danna and her family as they deal with the latest news from their daughter in Ethiopia.

Lenora

This is an email I sent out to a friend and I wanted to post it here to. Please go and donate blood in your area if you can, just in my father in laws honor and any prayers would be appreciated.

I am not sure what I told you about my FIL last but they have found cancer. The rupture of the blood vessel/artery in his hip, 2 weeks ago, was because of the pressure from the golf ball size tumor. When the blood vessel/artery ruptured so did the tumor. It is lipo sarcoma cancer or something like that. Chemo is not an option as the cells are resistent. Radiation isn't an option as the cells are scattered in his hip area and they would being burning off to many good cells in the process of trying to get the bad cells. Basically the options are total leg and partial pelvic amputation or do nothing. The dr.s are recommending do nothing and I think that is what the he has decided to do as well. It is a slow growing cancer and that by its nature stays local so he will watch his hip area and if he notices lumps or anything like that the dr.s will remove it at that time. Basically, he will live with the cancer cells and hope they don't grow to quickly. He has received 31 units of blood since this began, with the first 25 in the first day of the rupture. They feel they have the bleeding under control and they have assured him that there is not an issue wth his blood or his vessels that is was simply the pressure from the tumor. He is tired and ready to be home. 2 weeks in the hospital and 4 surgeries along with 31 units of blood have taken their toll. He does have a positive spirit, though! He said when this is all said and done he wants a butt like JLo! The surgery yesterday was to clean up the hip area and remove some of the skin that had "died" in the process of all the blood just sitting there. When everything ruptured he bleed into a pocket area in his hip and the blood just sat there. It has caused lots of damage and much of his outer skin "died" in that area and had to be removed. They were wanting to clean everything up to reduce the risk of infection as it could get bad. They think he may require another surgery to do some more repair and he may need some grafts but right now they did what they could and are going to leave him alone for a bit to let his body do some healing. They also removed some muscle tissue from his gluts but seem confident that he will be able to walk unassisted eventally.--read more