Driven to distraction

Submitted by rpb0912 on Sat, 03/21/2009 - 2:05am

My husband (ex-husband) often takes washing from the machine and hangs it out to dry.

If the lingere bag is in that load, he empties it, hangs the items, then hangs the bag on the line.

In some cases he can persuade some or all of our 3 children to take the washing from the clothesline when its dry and bring it into the house. If the children rather than the 'ex' bring the laundry in, they invariably bring the lingere bag in with the dry clothes, rather than return it to the laundry.

This means that when I next need the lingere bag, I have to return to the house from the laundry to find the bag. This is just so annoying. I have told my 'ex' repeatedly that the lingere bag does not need to be hung out to dry and should be returned to the laundry - he insists that it is damp and will get mouldy or smelly if it is not dried.

I am troubled by the inconvenience this causes me, by the thoughtlessness of the children and by my ex's disobedience. Does anyone have anyy advice on how to resolve this issue?

Christine ccxxx

Driven to distraction

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Sat, 06/06/2009 - 12:39am.

Ain't it funny how those little things can be so annoying! We too have a downstairs laundry, so I kind of know what you mean. Having said that, is there any harm in leaving the bag on the line so that you can just get it next time you need it?

Also, I'm curious about your choice of words: "the thoughtlessness of the children, and my ex's disobedience". Did you bring your mother's lingerie in from the line when you were a child? (Personally I would find it a little weird!)From an outsider's perspective, it seems they are doing their best, and making a mistake, rather than being thoughtless or deliberately doing it to annoy you. Do you "obey" your ex? Should he "obey" you? I'm guessing that the lingerie bag is really just a metaphor for some other issues, and maybe that's why it's that extra bit annoying. Dealing with the other issues may defuse some of your feelings about the bag!

I have a friend who is great at doing a "reality / perspective check" by reminding me that everything can be looked at from a different angle. Eg, isn't it wonderful to have lingerie, a washing machine, and a place to live, when so many in the world do not? And legs which work to go and get the bag, instead of struggling around in a wheelchair? I know when my kids or husband drive me mad, all I have to do is really imagine life without them and it helps me to change my perspective.

Good luck!

J

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