where have I been

Well for those of you ladies who know
me these many years Id like to bring you up to date on myself and my family.
Life is funny sometimes. We are given something we think is perfect for us and then it is taken away and we realize it wasn't the best after all. I was married just a year ago to a soldier in the U.S. army. After such a struggle to get away from an abusive marriage and then the challenges of being a single mom to five children it seemed things were finally on there way up to a plateau. Deployment came for us and my soldier changed. He came
home 3 months into the deployment and cleaned out the bank and took the car in the middle of the night. Despite my attempts in conjunction with the Army to get us to counciling find out what was wrong with him, he remained gone. He changed his mind simply put. He changed. I suppose that it had alot to do with war and being deployed over and over since the age of 18. So I up and moved to Kerville TX wich is way south of San Antonio. I went west ladies! I lived there most of the past year. I healed and I have to say in some way winning the west helped me find myself.I returned home to NC recently. During my time in TX an old high school sweetheart found me on one of those classmate sites. We talked forever and he asked me to return. Well more appropiate he went to my mother and enlisted the help of my whole big family. So back I am and trying to settle back here in NC. The kids are suffering a bit from too many transitions but this one has been a slow moving one and I hope that we have found our place. My former husband has returned safe from Iraq but had a mental breakdown and is in treatment. (please wish for his healing) we wont ever be together again but I will always be there for him if he needs me. The war can be terrible and prices are paid in not only blood but the tears and the minds and hearts of those who it touches. Not all casualties are deaths. Young mens minds are broken. I cant say if the war is right or wrong, I can only tell you first hand that there is a price for all of us to pay. This was mine I suppose.
Now I have moved into a town house in my states capitol city. Just an hour away from my family. Friends were waiting to support and help and
I look towards tomorrow with a sense of hope and healing.
I am happy to have the chance to be a stay at home mom again. I hope that I get to visit TNH and fly again. The lesson most learned is that life is a beautiful struggle. Sometimes sad and sometimes happy. I am blessed with five healthy children and an ability to survive. I am thankful everyday for all I have. Most of all I am excited to return to the life style that I love the most. Josh (the high school sweetheart) and I are looking for a farm to buy in the next five years. I cant wait to see how that goes. (I know some about and agriculture life but not nearly enough.} I cant wait to try farm life! this should be intresting haha! Love you all and am so glad to see you still around.