This week I did something very exciting -- I cut my Effexor dose in half again, and added a bit of Lexapro, in order to get off Effexor completely.

Note: Effexor is an effective drug for many people, particularly people for whom an anxiety disorder is a close friend of their depression. But for me, Effexor made me slower, fatter, foggier, and generally blah. On Zoloft I never had that feeling of "My antidepressant is surpressing my feelings in general," but with Effexor I did. I could go on, but suffice to say that Effexor was wrong for me.

My understanding is that Lexapro is in a similar SSRI category, but works a little differently. It's true, I have severe depression, but I also seem to have a sensitive body chemistry that is readily distressed by heavy antidepressants. It's why I'm not so easy to treat by plain old medication management. Really, part of this whole long-term healing process is accepting that my body is just plain highly sensitive -- more sensitive than many. I can be angry about that, or feel foolish about that, or try to be tough and ignore it because being more sensitive than others is bad for so many reasons -- and yet there it is.

Anyhow, I am really happy to be making another step towards getting off this drug! The withdrawl symptoms I've been dealing with -- especially dizziness, nausea -- are enough to make me glad to be rid of it.

Since depression is a hot topic on TNH for today, I feel like I should say that although I think I know a fair amount about depression and depression treatments, I am also aware that my experience of depression is more severe than most. So far as we know, a majority of people with depression will only experience one depression (though their likelihood of experiencing more than one in part depends upon how they deal with the first). Many people with lifelong depression have chronic low-level depression, without the swift swing toward the severe that comes out of nowhere.

My combination of life history and genetic history puts me right up there in terms of depression, so if you are reading along, you can take heart that you will probably not ever need to be as concerned as I am about this brain-health lifestyle I'm working out here. If you are reading along as a person who experiences some depression, think of me as an explorer out on the frontiers!

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