I Don't Know How to Dress Myself Any More

My shape after having children many years back really changed, but now that I'm 44, I cannot begin to describe this alien form I sometimes see in a mirror! I buy cool clothes, I think, but after I put them on, I can't get over how awful they look!
Keep smiling!!!

http://www.missussmartypants.com/

The website above sends you an email each week based on your shape with shaping guidelines and garments. If you don't know your shape for an extra fee missus smarty pants will look at pictures of you and classify you.

I found it very useful and I know that many women have tried and found this tool to be useful. Their husbands are starting to take notice of their (the women's ) appearances and noticing the changes simply by following the guidelines.

She picks common stores to shop from.

Sorry to tell you, but what you're experiencing is part of aging. I'm almost 20 years older than you and have experienced just what you're going through. The process can be slowed, but can't be stopped altogether, in any way that I know of.

I wish we could discuss some of these things without getting into the beauty discussion. We could look at it more from a health and fitness point of view.

Carolyn Kay
MakeThemAccountable.com

That most of the clothes made for women right now are either too young looking like low-rise jeans and low-cut, spaghetti strap, tight tops, or too old looking. I can't seem to find anything just basic and in-between except places that are really expensive. It's discouraging. I'm 40, and I sure don't mind looking 40, I just don't have hundreds of dollars to spend on each outfit.
Sigh.
-Jo

...and it's getting worse (I think) as I get a smaller. Finding "stylish" tops that are appropriate for teaching is really a challenge. (I have a fairly comprehensive wardrobe of skirts already!)

Lenora

I don't know what department stores you have out there. Our "moderate" store is Macy's (compared to Nordstrom's -- my fave! -- and Bloomies on the high end and Herbergers on the slightly cheaper end) and they have a personal shopper. See what they can do! I have done it and I have several friends who have, and they are usually willing to work in your price range if you state it up front. (E.g., I want everyday clothes that will wash well, and I have $300 to spend, including a new pair of shoes.) Your style is probably different from mine, but I think Talbots has great plus size clothes. (I also buy a lot of Lands End, and I like J. Jill.)

My suggestions: buy new bras (always helps!) and find a new, bright color to liven things up. (Me, I have three lime-ish green shirts and some light green Crocs.)

Shaun
www.redseahomeschool.wordpress.com

Insufficient protein consumption always makes my ankles swell, long before it shows up on a blood test.

Eddie Bauer and L.L. Bean because they have talls. The problem is one pair of jeans is $60! and one top is around $40, so that's over $100 per outfit if you include shoes, socks, good underwear, etc. I tend to stain tops, so go through those pretty quickly, and in the winter I need layers, so I could easily spend $1,000 a year, which just seems wasteful for something kinda dumb like clothes. I'd rather spend it on travel, or education, or books!

that you're posting because you see the error of your ways. I have been reviewing our kids' clothing needs for fall, thinking about what clothes would be appropriate for the way we spend most of our days, and realizing that I need to review my fall clothing needs too!

It's one thing to not be into fashion, but another to say, "well, why do I need to look good, who's gonna see me anyway." Clothes are like all other stuff in life -- you oughta love it, it oughta make you smile, or you oughta bless someone else with it. Or like food -- if you don't really like it (and you're not starving or in danger of offending someone of another culture), don't eat it.

If your wardrobe is bringing you down, well, Bad Wardrobe! Out of the house with you! It's no use saying, "I shouldn't feel this way about clothes."

I'm telling you, if you don't know where else to start, go with color -- some strong color.

Shaun
www.redseahomeschool.wordpress.com

I have a bunch of clothing blanks, almost all for the girls, that have been sitting in the basement all summer. I dyed up two of four batches including a long rayon skirt for me. It's more of a knock-around kind of skirt, floor length, and I dyed it a deep almost navy blue.

Tomorrow a friend who's staying with us and I are going to go through my stuff and pare down. I have a lot of stuff to get rid of.

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

I can completely empathize with the body changes, as you know. I'm still trying to figure out how I look and I had to do a major wardrobe overhaul last year. Hitting the thrift stores regularly is my approach. First of all, it's cheap so you can afford to experiment, and then you're not locked into what's "in" right now. There's a much wider variety of style and color than you'll get buying new and with low prices you can play around more. Plus (and this is a big plus for me)you're not putting money in the hands of whatever store is making massive profits of underpaid laborers. I really can't bring myself to buy new for much of anything beyond underwear anymore. The downside is, of course, that you have to go there, and fairly often for good finds, but that's how you stumble across treasures like handmade blankets, vintage fabrics, and beautiful discarded dishes which make my house lovely if not exactly clutter-free.

I'm not sure, but I think I might be close to the shape and size you used to be (you were heavier but more hourglass-y before, right?), and I am in dire need of some new clothes. I cannot find ANYTHING I like ANYWHERE online. If you are interested in selling anything that doesn't look right on you any more, as long as it is in the neighborhood of size 24-26, send me a private message; if I buy them, you'll HAVE to buy new clothes. Right?

This is a topic that I struggle with too. I will be 48 next month. While I am not heavy, I have given birth to 5 kids which means I don't have much of a waist and gravity is an issue for undergarments. I so empathize about "the good points not being good anymore". I too used to have great legs but now i have very visible varicose veins in one leg so I no longer like to wear shorts or skirts. I also don't have the money to shop at new stores, I go to second hand places. My kids who are still growing need clothes more than I do. I do find that boys low rise jeans are a better fit for me, they are much less low than women's ones. I also have discovered that I like low rise because it means the waistband is below my belly instead of digging into it in an attempt to create a waist that isn't really there:)
I also hate to be uncomfortable but refuse to start wearing polyester pullon pants:(
In colder weather I wear track pants which work fine but sometimes I have to look semi respectable. I also ride a bike and i have to be comfortable for weather and in general when riding my bike.
I can't order stuff online because the shipping is horrendous for sending stuff to Canada.

I never find anything I want at clothing swaps either.

Three Words: Odds and Ends! On the Land's End website you can get their overstocked or not quite perfect clothing for around 65% off. Now, you may not always find your size, but it's worth looking at because even the NQP clothes are great (the flaws usually so minor that you can't tell unless you analyze the item like crazy, and they'll usually mention what the problem was). I believe L.L.Bean and Eddie Bauer do the same, but I may be wrong. Anyhow, their fit works great for me because it is cut well.

I found these: http://www.landsend.com/pp/5pocketStretchCorduroyPants-24838_141292_-1.h...

Seem like a nice pair of pants...not to "young" but not grandma material either. AND only $12.99! There were 4 size options left when I checked last.