Hi Ladies,
Sorry it has been so long I have been away. With my husbads deployment so close I looked inward and focused all of me on him and my family. He left June 5. On top of that the army decided June 25 was a good time to reassign our housing so I have been moving without him and while already being stressed about him leaving for Iraq. The upside is I went from a 50+ year old ghetto base house to a brand new Picern Millitary house wich is beautiful and updated and still has that brand new house smell beccause we are the first to live here. I write to you tonight from the third night on the floor beccause of having to opt for early telephone and internet switching in order to stay in touch with my husband. Cant complain about that one when I think of where he lives everyday it seems a small sacrifice to sleep on the floor of a new place to hear from him! I plan on being around more after the movers bring my stuff on July 3rd and I clear the old house on the 6th. Im a bit pressed for time but I feel confident. I have my game face on!
Mainly I am posting tonight to ask all of you who are so dear to me even the new ones I dont know to think good thoughts, pray, meditate, anything you do for people...please do it for my husband. It is his third tour of duty in this war. Politics aside he is a soldier doing a job beccause he believes in America and he enlisted in the Army for a future for himself and to do a job that matters. If you ask him if he is pro or anit war he would tell you his humble opinion doesnt matter and he doesnt think of it at all he just does as his country calls him to do. Please pray or w/e you do for his saftey beccause he is a good and kind man who made mircales happen in my life and the lives of my five small children. He is in terrible conditions and he is stoplossed he is supposed to be getting out of the army but will be held in 18 months longer than his enlistment. 15 for deployment and 3 for what they call reaclimation. That is the Armys way of dealing with not moving a soldier from a war zone to right out of the Services and into the world all at once. They belive its too stressful and that may be true for most or even all soldiers. Just the same its more time added on that we want to use to return to his beautiful home in the Blue Ridge Mountain area. It is a dream we both hold near to our hearts and our goal that keeps us going. I only want one thing, one answered prayer, one good streak of kharma, just bring Daniel back safe to my arms and my life. Do not let him fall in that forsaken place. I have learned fear lately. I have learned how to live by the phone, to panic at a low battery. The value of a car charger. I love you tube beccause I can let him peek into the life that is his, that he misses so dearly. I have learned I can be in love with a teddy bear in acus, the internet, flat rate shipping boxes ( i really love those, deployment on a budget yay!), I love a five minute call and I might name my next child after the inventor of the cellular phone! I sniff his soap and keep an open bar in the shower (irish spring) beccause when it gets a little wet it smells up the shower and if I close my eyes I can almost see him there stealing the tiny mirror and sink we once shared, well sort of shared but not nicely. Now I have two sinks in a master bath suit and I set all his stuff there and I wont use his side even though he never has.I see my life in pictures and I swear by the slidshow maker on rockyou.com. I sneak them on our very private myspace and supprise him with what we are doing. I hope I dont run out of whitty captions! Our lives look so good in pictures, but I know something is missing and its him. I have to hide the hurt and muscle on for our kids. I cant let them down. I cant let him down. I am still afraid. I wanna sleep till its over but that just wont do. I want to answer the tough questions about all of this my kids are now old enough to ask.I just dont have a good answer to "mommy why is there a war" or "mommy why does daddy have to go if he doesnt really want to leave us" I do the best I can but theres no perfect answer. I just know deep down in my heart if he comes home safe to us none of it will matter. It will all be worth it. I know we will be repaid in days of happiness and even sadness but we will be together and Ill never forget its a blessing each day to be a family that is whole again. I just ask you to help me each day if only for a moment you wish him well and safe. To know you are all pulling for his safe return would mean alot to me. I love you all so dearly and you have been there for me so may times in the last 3+ years.I hope to rejoin you after my move is complete and hope you are all well! Happy 4th of July to you all.