I talked last week about how John and I started our life together financially [1]: To sum up, in a pickle! But we pulled out of it eventually, at least the parts we could control. If we hadn't been as prudent as we have been, we'd really be in a mess now, with all the unexpected employment and health issues we've had in the last five years.

We've managed it with budgeting. Not even strict budgeting--just having one, and keeping track of how much is going out (and where) and how much is coming in, has made a huge difference. It makes us stop and consider even smallish purchases.

It took us a while to get to where we were comfortable with the budgeting process. And we had to work through three common barriers to budgeting that many families face.

Barrier #1: "I Hate Budgets"
If you're going to do this, a positive attitude about budgeting is essential to your success. If you think of budgeting in negative terms (such as a financial diet, financial handcuffs, restrictive, penny-pinching, a sacrifice, etc.), you are doomed.

We were too, until we put in place a tactic I learned at a 12-step program [2]. We don't call it a budget, we call it a spending plan. Well, we did until we got over that hump. We've been at it enough now that we call it a budget and don't think twice about it!

But it really helps to recast your budget in your mind not as what you can't buy, but as what you CAN buy, and what you WILL buy if you manage your money. A spending plan is a means to an end--a way to achieve your dreams and goals. Postponing the instant gratification of spending all the money you earn is worth the rewards you will earn in the end.

Barrier #2: "You Can't Make Me"
If you're doing this for anyone else, it won't work, either. Don't budget to get your partner off your back, for instance. Over time, external motivators will wear off. Following the terms of a debt repayment plan with a consumer credit counseling agency, complying with an agreement made in bankruptcy court--these are not bad motivations, but they are external pressures and will probably not be easy to maintain over time. The best motivations are internally generated. Do you honestly believe that budgeting can help you meet your goals? Do you even HAVE goals [3]?

That's where John and I started. We wrote down what we really wanted out of life, even the "impossible" bits. Chances are they'll remain impossible, but we have goals now that we didn't have before, and they help us as we plot out how to spend our money. It's also helped our marriage. We know more now about what's important to each of us than we did before we had goals.

Speaking of impossible bits...

Barrier # 3: "Pinch! Spend! Pinch! Spend!"
When we first started working on our spending plan, we went through a period of "financial anorexia." We were afraid to spend anything. And then, just as with an eating disorder, we would "binge." (I must confess here that this was mostly my problem, though John has had his moments.)

What do you expect to gain from instituting and following a spending plan? Do you think that you can magically transform your spending habits after a month or two of tracking expenses?

The reality is that budgeting is an endurance event--those who stick with it, through thick and thin, will come out ahead financially. Do not expect miracles. What you WILL see if you stick with it is steady, measurable progress towards the goals that really matter to you.

This is the barrier that takes faith. For us, getting through this stage took time, and a steady belief that sticking with our spending plan would see us through. We knew where we were going; all we had to do was look at the spread sheet and there was the path, all spread out for us.

Why your family needs a spending plan
We got serious about working with our money flow when Josie was born and my work hours were curtailed. We kept at it after we came into some very good fortune, and when that fortune left us. Budgeting is not just for poor folks; it's for everyone [4]. The worst mistake you can make is to wait until you think you need a budget. You need one now.

[5]	The Big Payoff: 8 Steps Couples Can Take to Make the Most of Their Money--and Live Richly Ever After [6]asin: 006074488X

[7]	How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt and Live Prosperously*: *(Based on the Proven Principles an [8]asin: 0553382020

[9]	Currency of Hope [10]asin: 0970323808

[11]	Pay It Down! : From Debt to Wealth on $10 a Day [12]asin: B000FILIM6

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