Missed You All

Hi Ladies,
Im not sure how many of you remeber me but I see a few familar faces out there. I just wanted to find my way back to the warm place on the net.
Just a little update on how I have been doing. I ditched the toxic husband a long while ago. I really put myself into getting my life together. I have remarried to a wonderful man. He is a soldier in the U.S. Armed Forces. We live in FT. Bragg now. He has been deployed twice and he leaves again June 11 of this year so far as we know. It will be my first deployment with him and Im afraid. That is a big part of why I came back here, beccause I can use the support.
All the kids are doing really well. They are flourishing in a healty life and so am I. Id really like to hear how you all have been and meet the new members too. Im glad that THN is still around and I have missed it so much and all of you.

Jennmommy5's picture

Thank you all for the warm welcome back!

Thank you also for your good thoughts for the husband.

We expect it to be an 18 month deployment beccause so many are getting extended but we hope for it to be only twelve months. My husband isn't really into politics but I know he is very tired of fighting this war. He has been at it for 3 years and he just has had enough. He is not alone though many feel the same and we count ourselves lucky that he has made it home alright each time so far. For many, even many we know, it has been far worse. He is proud of what he does and he doesnt do it for the president or congress or politics he does it beccause his job as a soldier is part of the vision that is America. It is the vision that we have a strong competent military to protect us and keep us safe. He trys not to think of all the ifs and whys about Iraq or any other thing than just that he is part of the vision we all hold dear. That we have strong, brave men and women to keep us safe.
Still he is due to seperate from the Army on July 23, 2007. He deploys June 11th so he will be stop lossed most of this deployment. We don't like stop loss to say the least. Our lives demand, however that we just go with it. Alot of things come up that we don't like but we just go with it beccause we know that this is the way of things in the military and we accept it and feel how we feel on our own.

I know I will be okay while he is gone but I feel like I can use the extra support of people I trust. You all make me feel warm and I trust you so I need you now both those with military experience and ones without to get my mind off it. Im glad to know that I will have you all to be there for me.

Andrea's picture

Hey Jenn -
Didn't get a chance to say welcome back!! Welcome back!!! I remember you well - you always had a very full plate but handled it well. I hope you check in often. Your life has changed a lot in a few years - hope you are happy.

See ya!
Andrea

silverbear's picture

I think my sanity is still intact, but sometimes I wonder how I would know if it wasn't :P

1. Exercise, exercise, exercise. Sweat your fears and frustrations out.
2. Do not watch the cable news networks. They will drive you crazy with their endless loop of doom & gloom flavored by political spin, or they will drive you crazy by ignoring the fact that our soldiers are dying every day and focus instead on the latest celebrity scandal.
3. Don't believe anything you hear unless it comes through official channels of communication. Rumors will fly throughout the deployment. Rely only upon the information you receive from the Rear Detachment.
4. Expect to have some really stupid fights right before your husband ships out. This is common and normal. The tension has to find an outlet somewhere.
5. Stock your medicine cabinet before your husband leaves. Murphy's Law demands that you and the kids will all come down with a stomach flu two days after your husband departs. Pepto, Gatorade, ginger ale, pedialyte, motrin, etc - make sure you have it on hand, because when you need it, you won't be able to go and get it.
6. Have you taken any Army Family Team Building (AFTB) classes? They're all available online now. There's lots of good information in there.
7. Iron sharpens iron. Avoid the people who drag you down, and stick with the people who strengthen and support you. (Like us!! :grin: )

Jennmommy5's picture

We havent taken any aftb classes as of yet but we have been somewhat active in the frg and they have offered us some good stuff as well as the marriage enrichment stuff the chaplians are doing(including sending us to a posh hotel at the beach for a few days!)
Those are some good tips. Since he has TDY'd now twice I kinda have a mini dose of this. I found out that it IS a fact that you and all the kids get sick right after he leaves. Now this is something some doctor should research beccause it really happens like 99% of the time Im sure of it. Maybe its the stress the family is under weakining the immune system causing some yet unnamed syndrome of getting sick in immediate relation to the husband leaving!
I have noticed living on post that there is alot more baddies than goodies out there. I find this most sad. We as army wives sharing the same burden should be supporting each other not bringing each other down. I see alot that spend to much time drinking and at the bars. The same ones that when they are home want to form mean cliques and gossip and make trouble. I stay on my side of my door for the most part. I refuse to become a part of that. Im to proud of my husband and I respect him to much to behave that way. One great thing is that my sister is also getting married to a guy in my husbands unit on april 28 and she is getting to move right across the lawn from me only about 100 feet away. So we can help each other and I know I can trust her. I do try to be kind to the other women though just not get involved. I have found myself carting in groceries for pregnant women with no husband at home. I have filled in putting together toddler beds and putting up curtians for one who doesnt know how to operate the drill as a screwdriver. I know its hard when there are just things your husband would do so I dont often say no. I have taken other peoples kids into my house that i barely knew so they could make a midnight run to the ER with a feverish baby. Most no one has family even in this state so we have only each other. Its very odd to have to give yourself over to the compassion of strangers so often. I am lucky my family is close by so I dont have to feel that way.
One day I found myself standing in an on-post post office cuddled up in my arms like a lover was a priority mail box covered in priority mail tape. I looked down and up the line and I saw myself repeated. Over a half dozen other women of various shapes and sizes and colours all standing in line cuddling thier boxes as if it were the man they were sending it too. Box sizes were different, we were different and yet we were the same. The woman beside me had completely wrapped her box in tape. She told me the last package hadn't faired well. I almost burst into tears at that moment. I could see it in all thier eyes. All these strangers and yet here we were all feeling just the same thing in our hearts. All of us trying to transfer the last bit of love we could into those boxes before we handed the to the postal clerks to be weighed and charges outrageous amounts of shipping. It was a longing we shared. This was how we felt close to the men we loved. This was our intamacy, our contact. We were touching the box and at some point not to be predicted he would touch the box. It was a solemn unity that held more sadness and yet more strength than I think I had ever felt in my life. I eyed a woman over at one of the tables where you prepare your stuff and she was trying to find creative ways to stuff just a few more things into a box. She had the look of a woman who is cooking dinner for her DH beccause she wants too. We are all just desperate to take care of them however we can. I couldnt believe it when it was my turn to pay up and hand over my cuddle box aka care package. It was going to cost me 11.00 to send my husband some soap, hand sanitizer,beef and cheese sticks, ceral bars, and a rolling stone magazine just to lousiana! The woman at the clerk next to me had a bigger heavier box. Her box was going to cost 39.00 to Iraq! We should be able to send them stuff for free! At least once a month we should get a freebie. It is after all, all we have. Next year for christmas I will be asking everyone to get me gift certificates to the post office instead of target ect.!
I know this is the life I choose and many would say I dont have the right to complian. I hear alot of women say this to other women. I think that too is unfair. I think we dont have the right to complain to our husbands but to each other I think its neseccary. We should let each other vent for our own sanity! I didnt mean to fall in love with an army guy. I just did. I couldnt discriminate against loving him for his job. I love him and you take the good with the bad. Some people say its not right for people to look at us and say the old "I dont know how you do it". Me , I like to hear that. I always say to them "I dont know how I do it either" it makes me proud to know that other compassionate people recognise that this isnt an easy life to live. Why should we get mad about that.
Alot of it is still new to me and Im sure It will be a learning process after we seperate from the army. Watching him deal with the transistion from soldier to civillian will probably be stressful too. Im ready to face this however, with nothing more than knowing he is worth it.

Lynn's picture

It sounds like so much has gone well for you. Welcome back!

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

Becky's picture

How long has it been, now, since you last posted? Am I remembering correctly that you were working on a degree?

silverbear's picture

Good to "see" you again. Sorry that your husband will be deploying. I presume he's in the 82nd, going to Iraq? I know firsthand how difficult it is to be back on the "homefront". TNH will be a great and warm support for you.

Rose (Fort Drum)

jennye's picture

Hi Jenn!! Glad to see you again! How are all the kiddos doing? Start hanging around us flybabies again! LOL!

Kerri's picture

Even when you don't have time to post very often this place is so nice to come home to, isn't it! :)

So many changes, and it sounds like it isn't going to be easy for you with DH deploying. I know what it's like to be without mine a fair bit of the time, but I don't envy you the constant worry. I don't suppose you have any idea yet when they're expected back. I think Rose might be a good person to help you with specifics because she's a veteran and probably has some great tips for not going insane while you're waiting.

glad the kids are doing well, and it's lovely to see you back again.

Kerri.

Jennmommy5's picture

yes hes 82nd airborne and he is deploying to Iraq. Hes been there once and Afghanastan once. Im glad hes not cherry but i hate he has been through so much. I think THN will be good support for me.

Lynn's picture

I hope he'll be safe. Three tours! My goodness.

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

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