How involved is your partner in child care?

I'm sure my husband would say he helps more than a little. I'm sure in his eyes, he does closer to half. He plays with the kids, things like riding 4-wheelers or playing guitars/music together. And every now and then one of the kids may work with him (ride on the tractor or in the semi all day). But as far as scut work, I do all that. I change 99% of the diapers, I do 99% of the baths, laundry, help with homework, feeding, breaking up fights, etc.

But in DH's defense, LOL!, he does 90% of the money making (but I am his go-fur and bookkeeper/accountant. I get parts if needed, help road machinery from a field to another, bring lunches). I also am taking on more of the ranching responsibilities as the baby gets older. He (the baby) and I feed the cattle together.

DH tends to shout at them when the level of annoyance gets too much, but other than that he's more of a super-husband in the housework arena. He does try once in a while and sometimes I give him a 'subtle nudge' (me, subtle?!?!) but his own father was very hands-off, aloof really, except when he used a belt on DH's older brothers (he mellowed by the time DH was born 10yrs later). Sometimes he'll be more inclined to play with them and less inclined to grouch at them than I am, but like you Jenny the baths, getting ready for school and other day-to-day boring stuff is all my stuff.

I'd say he's probably a bit above helping a little, but it's nowhere near half, so a little is my vote I'm afraid.

my mother found us the perfect anniversary card recently - it says "there were many reasons they stayed together, chief among them was his ability to do the dishes". Absolutely spot on!!

Kerri.

My DH is a pretty involved dad, but the way we have divided up the labor around here, he's not not even close to half with the child care. Which is why I feel impatient sometimes that he gets frustrated with them so quickly -- yet I think if I spent more time with them, he'd probably "build up a tolerance."

Shaun
www.homeschoolblogger.com/shaunms

My husband has always had a demanding career and one that he would never give up, but it has worked for us, because I love to be at home. When the kids were small he would pitch in when he could, but I could never really count on him to be there when the unexpected happened, which is one of the reasons it was imperative that I stay home full time. Today our kids are in college and I am still home, but I have found creative ways to earn a little extra money by running a small home based crafting business and working few hours at a local library. I am still in charge however with basically all the college stuff, financial forms, treks to and from the campus, and the late night "my boyfriend dumped me" phone calls etc. Hubby does what he can but for him to change his career at this point in our life would mean a drastic pay cut and at this time it is not worth it. So although daily child care is no longer a big factor, believe me, there is still alot of responsibility to oversee the high school and college young adult stuff. My kids are aprentice adults and they still need someone to lean on, so in some way childcare continues... it is just in a different form....

I feel lucky when I think of my DH. He's very busy with school (he's working on his PhD) and yet still makes it possible for me to stay home with our children. We get to have him home most evenings, and he's more than willing to pitch in and do the dinner dishes--of course I'll only let him if I've done my fair share that day. If I spent it on the phone with friends and lolly-gagged, and I knew he was at work, I tend to cut him evening slack. He loves playing with the children, and although he tends to get irritated quickly when they are tuning him out as toddlers will do, he's great about apologizing to them for his temper, and apologizing to me for "ruining the great feeling I had going that day". Usually, he's not as bad as he thinks he is, but I do let him apologize, as it keeps both of us wanting to improve ourselves. It's still obvious that he was one of those geeky guys from high school I'd never date (don't ask how I decided to date him anyway!!), but I've decided that I love that part too. We've only been married 6 years, and I really think they've been good. Learning experiences, but good. So, I'll give him 50%, since the work he does for the children is phenominal...geez, I sound like I'm gushing. I suppose I am.

We don't have children, but we do have animals. Because of our animals, I think I've got an inkling as to how children would be. When we married, we decided to wait 5 years before having kids.

I do 90% of the care of the 2 cats, 99.95% of the 2 rabbits, and 75-85% of his bearded dragon. I feed them, clean up after them, and usually am the one who bathes them. He trims the cats nails and cuddles with them. I gave him credit with the rabbits because he started their hutch (I finished it). He spends time with his lizard and bathes him sometimes, but I'm the primary caregiver, though he handles the set up of the tank.

He does 95% of the 2 dogs. Then, insists that I need to have more of a hand in their training, etc. I feed them and let them out when he's on his quarterly men's trip, give them treats occasionally, and refill the rottie's bucket most mornings as she drinks alot.

So, we're aproaching our 6 anniversary this summer, and we've aready have decided to wait till after our 10th... if we decide to have kids at all.