Ways to make it home

Favorite blankie or stuffed animal or doll will help. But she will probably really be ok because she will have mommy and daddy with her.

We lived with my Mum and Dad until DS was 2, when we moved to our flat. We talked about it before, and visited the flat together a few times beforehand (not so easy for you!) and he was fine. The only thing was that for the first few weeks he would follow me about more, and he wouldn't go into a different room by himself for some reason. If he wanted a toy from his bedroom I would have to go with him. He wasn't upset about it, just insistent

I would talk about 'when we go to our new house' as much as possible, which you're doing already, and as Jenny said familiar items will help. Perhaps the same bedding?

As DD is very secure in her relationship with you I'm sure she'll be fine.

We moved from one flat to another in Singapore when DD was a little under 2.5 and DS was about to be born (3 days before!). Not only was she moving, she was also moving into a different room from us and having a proper bed - previousy we stayed at my BIL's place in one smallish room, so she stayed in her cot that long (via a trip to Beijing but that's another story). DD is fairly adaptable fortunately, but given that a new baby was about to move into HER cot I was a bit worried, so one of the things I remember doing was to make up her bed with nice new, specially-bought covers and put HER toys on it. I'd also painted the room yellow and laid out as much as I possibly could before we moved her in, and it seemed to work. Sure she had problems with her brother, but never with her room!

Familiar bedclothes might work even better if DD is going to have the same type of bed. Mummy and stuff are what make it home really and most kids adapt pretty well, especially at that age when their old friends are soon forgotten in the excitement of making new ones. If you show enthusiasm and excitement about it DD will catch that mood and feel that way about the move too. No matter how divided you feel about it you must not show her anything other than positive emotions. I did that with my two and thunderstorms and people were always bemused to find them laughing at loud cracks of thunder. It's the same with books and anything else you get enthusiastic about.

No matter whether she can understand or not talk to DD about all the exciting new things there are to see and do in Edinburgh, about visiting special places or seeing special people. Also, since you're finishing your PhD you could maybe link the two together and make her feel that the move has something to do with Mummy having more time to play with her. You could pick out clothes together for her to wear when you actually physically make the journey, a special new journey toy... There are so many things and it will depend on DDs temperament, but I really think you'll be fine and your positive attitude will be the deciding factor for her.

Kerri.

As my DH is working on finishing up his PhD, we moved a 24 hour drive away from our old home. (Utah to Indiana). Sadly, all our family lives in the Utah / Idaho area (10 hour radius) and we left that radius. DS was 2.5 and DD was 10 mos. We really had to pump up the idea. Made it seem like this huge adventure. Our stuff didn't join us for about a week after we arrived at our new home, so we all slept on the floor together. We made sure to explore the town a lot, going to parks, the zoo, and some fun restaraunts that the kids enjoyed. We didn't have our fridge or stove for 2 weeks, so we hung out at the farmers market instead of stocking up. The kids were fine, much better than we thought they'd be. Plus, all of us were together, and that seemed to be the best part of it. DH had some free time and we built a sandbox. I realize that if you're moving to an apartment all this isn't the same, but some of it works. Best of luck! Don't worry too much, children are much more resilient than we give them credit for.

At that age,kids are so visual. They love pictures and photos. Perhaps make a photo album just for her of the apartment building,her room,the street, etc and look at it often with her especially when you talk about the "new house". Good luck!

heidi