Materialism and Kids

How can shopping be a hobby? Well, let me tell you how: You are raised with shopping as a main activity in your life. Trust me-this is possible. I know. I was raised in an environment where what you own is everything. How you look is everything. Whether a weekday, weekend, or a vacation, my family's main activities were centered around watching tv, shopping, eating, or talking about tv, shopping or eating.

The level of materialism in my family is overwhelming. I am working so hard to rid myself of the pull towards that life because I do not want my child to have those values. The fact of the matter is I will always have that pleasantly warm feeling when engaged in those activities because it is a comfort of my childhood. A deranged childhood but mine just the same.

What frightens me so much about marketing is how it manipulates one's perspective so completely. My nephew is a tv and video game junkie. The way that he plays, thinks, and dreams is entirely derived from these mediums. My husband's godson was raised with a video every now and then but no tv and no video games. DH's godson still owns his mind. He is more creative and innovative. He acts like the little boy he was born to be and not what the advertisements have told him to be. I want my son to be free. Not to live within the confines of tv culture's boundaries.

A daycare provider that I knew in Missouri who'd been running her preschool for over 15 years could see the changes in the way kids played from before the video and video game "era" and after, and the children play differently now.

It's not imaginative, it's driven by the characters they watch, not the characters they create themselves. It's a insidious thing how the popular culture markets itself to children to create the need for their products, and it's everywhere.

Even if you abstain from commercial TV like we do with DD, we still have to be very careful and make sure that we express clearly to DD that we practice moderation in toy aquisition and be very clear with her when we see things that are innappropriate, like the little street walker clothes because garment manufacturers seem to want to pimp out our little girls, or gratutious violence in toys, games, etc.

One of my family members is totally plugged into the commercialized lifestyle and that family can barely handle the financial strain of having to have things the way they've been told they must by advertisers in order to be the people they want to think they are. And they don't even see it.

Anhata
www.familynaturally.com
Your Family's General Store, Naturally

this would be why I finally managed to move back to the UK... there are very few hobbies possessed by most Singaporeans: sleeping, eating and shopping are the usual ones cited. On a weekend we'd go to the mall because it had air-con and because very few other places did. Of course there were other attractions, but when there's only one zoo in the country and it costs a lot (it's a REALLY good zoo) there's a limit to how often you can go. Plus the tourists!!

but it still failed to make me particularly materialistic, and we also went the route of no commercial television, especially when the kids were younger. I had an advert quoted at me the other day and reminded them that if I got sick of hearing stuff like that they'd be back to videos only! I wholeheartedly agree about teaching kids what marketing is really about - I have a joke with mine about what the real thing might look like sometimes.

and we're hanging in though the peer pressure has increased dramatically since we've been back in the UK. The kids have managed to hold onto their contempt for people who have the gimmes, and are quite amused by their friends' reaction to how their lives differ, both in material things and in the consequent way in which the kids are parented. The two things are inextricably linked I am sure, and my two have learned how other kids live and how much mine prefer to be parented my way than to have me give in to everything and not really care much. I discuss things with them on quite a grown-up level and have done since before they were really ready, although I would have used simpler language. They're now 10 and 8 1/2, and those aren't easy ages to be resisting peer pressure, so I'm quite proud of them. And myself I guess!

Kerri.

I too have known the joys of shopping -- my mom loves to shop. She is incredibly generous and does most of her shopping for others. She has plenty of money, but she is one of the most class-unconscious people I know -- way more than I could hope to be, I think!

We avoid TV and commercials, we don't buy electronic gadgets (although our oldest is only 7 so we have plenty of time!), and we try to stay away from character-based merchandise in particular.

But DD3 loves her Dora tennis shoes. I love shoes (and purses) in general. I like perusing catalogs and strolling through cute gift shops -- although I never buy from catalogs and I am quite able to escape from gift shops with all the money I brought in. I just like looking at the stuff! (Probably the result of warm memories, like Samantha describes.)

We love an outing to the bookstore, which yes, usually ends in the purchase of books. Books are better than plastic toys, sure, but I would say that still qualifies as using shopping as a family activity, not a means to acquire necessary goods.

We do seem to do OK on this matter in comparison to some of our friends, but I can't say we're really free from materialism.

Shaun
www.homeschoolblogger.com/shaunms

I'm terrible; DD16 is horrible; and DD11.5 is following in the family pattern: We're Book Hogs. Rent, buy or borrow: we gobble them up. Now I will be teaching in a school district attached to one of the largest library systems in the state, with all the library priviledges that go with the position Quiver!!!!!!!! They'll even BRING the books TO ME!

Frightening stuff. (Not necessarily kidding)

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

I love to shop. Just don't always have the means to do so. LOL!

And on that note, I love for people to shop. I just wish they would shop at my Ebay store or my auctions and BUY stuff from me! LOL!

to enjoy shopping and not be unusually materialistic. I certainly agree with most of Shaun says about shopping for others - I love the opportunity that Christmas gives me to buy whatever I want for other people (we are the lower end of the cost scale than most people!) without feeling guilty. If I see something earlier in the year I might buy it and save it for Christmas.

We also mostly steer clear of character stuff, and my two definitely have a lot less than most of their friends. We even got accused of being tight one year by my parents, because we were flying over to the UK with the gifts and didn't want to waste space or money, so we'd told the kids they'd have the opportunity for a few months to say they'd like something and we might get it for them. The kids were fine but my dad thought we were just mean! My two are also used to the idea of being given money as gifts because that's the traditional Chinese way (and you never look to see how much you got until you're in private!).

books are a weakness in most of my favourite people! When I had my mother look after the kids for a whole day on her own the other week (Dad was working and Mum's not really very strong) I made sure the kids each had a brand new book, both as a bribe to them, and also because I knew it would give them something which would keep them quiet for a good chunk of the day. Books are the only thing I would bribe with really - it's very successful too!

Kerri.