Kitchen Table Theater

[Cross-posted from one of my other blogs--L]
As most of you know, we homeschool, which for us means we take teachable moments as they arise. And so I present to you two scenes from Kitchen Table Theater:
SCENE ONE -- BREAKFAST
[Background: Though we are a Pagan family, we are a literate family and Josie has been reading stories in her children's Bible out loud to Louisa; anyone who lives in Western civilization needs to know the stories whether one believes them as holy writ or not. We have also, over the years, read a lot of Beezus and Ramona stories by Beverly Cleary; they're set here in Portland after all. You may already sense where this is going...
Description: The kitchen, where Mama is doing dishes, Josie is writing her name in blueberries in her yogurt, and Louisa is tracing letters in her yogurt with a spoon because she doesn't like blueberries.]
LOU: Look Mama, I marked it with a B!
MAMA: Oh, "for baby and me?"
LOU: No, mama, for Beezus Christ!
MAMA: [speechless]
[fade to black]
SCENE TWO -- LUNCH THE NEXT DAY
[Background: We're getting ready to start up the formal school year in September; though we usually don't take official breaks, the events of this spring required that Mama take a good long rest.
Description: The kitchen, where Josie, Louisa and Mama are eating a deelishush meal of tomato soup and grilled cheese sammiches, except for Jo who hates cheese so she's having PB&J. Josie and Mama are talking about what we're going to study in the fall; Louisa is making faces at herself in the reflection of the Russell-Hobbes electric kettle. Mama has just concluded a list of subjects that will be required study.]
MAMA: So Jo, what do YOU want to study this year?
JO: Politics, like how elections work.
MAMA: Very good, we have an election coming up in November, we'll see if we can find a campaign that we can follow that wouldn't mind fielding questions from a little kid.
[Mama gives a very brief, 9-year-old-level precis of how the federal government is structured.]
MAMA: And OUR representative in this district, Josie, is a guy named Earl Blumenauer. He's a very interesting fellow who wears bow ties and likes to ride his bike everywhere.
JO: Oh! Just like Pee Wee Herman!
MAMA: [speechless]
[fade to black]
---
I swear I don't coach them.


No Coaching Required....
I'm wiping my eyes from laughing...
Here's more:
DD11 has a friend over and last night as I was working at the diningroom table (finally finishing DD11.5's other summer outfit) the girls were wandering around (outside) telling each other some long, drawn-out fantasy story. I only caught bits-and-pieces as they came up on the deck or passed the window but they must have been getting to the climax of the story because I heard my DD exclaim in a deep voice, "...the horrifying cheese-ball of doom!" To which her little friend replies "Yeah, cheese can be so evil."
I almost peed my pants.
I probably wouldn't have survived the whole story.
Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon
Oh My
I almost wet my pants.
Thank you! That was priceless.
Here's one for you, Lynn
DD11.5 and I went out for lunch last week at our favorite Chinese restaurant. Her fortune cookie read, "Excess is a stepping stone to vice."
DD asked what vice meant and we went on to have a conversation about the differences between mistakes and vices with my point being that a vice included some major (often ongoing) conflict with morality/universal values.
"Oh!" she said with new understanding. "Like vice-president?"
Ummmmmmmmmmm, well........
Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon
You guys are hilarious.
That was really funny.
Hey. I am new to this computer stuff. DD 11.5 means your 11th Darling Daughter? If that is true I worship you because I can barely handle one child. Congratulations on your beautiful-and funny-family. hey-I am ignorant. What does ROFL mean? Where do you guys learn these things?
rofl!
Better hope the NSA wasn't listening!
Lynn Siprelle, Editor
years of hanging out on the internets :)
ROFL = rolling on the floor laughing
ROFLMAO = ROFL + my ass off
DD = dear or darling (or damn sometimes) daughter
Putting a D in front of an initial usually means that, ie, DH is dear husband, DS is dear son. The number after DD 11.5 means "dear daughter 11.5 years old."
I need to make a jargon page!
Lynn Siprelle, Editor
Where do you guys learn these things?
I have a teen (16 in two weeks) and a 'tween (the above mentioned 11.5 year old!) I get quite the "jargon education!"
Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon
as a teenager
I was a teen (19) when I started doing serious websurfing. So I was the right age to learn these abbreviations.
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