Looking good, for a mom

Comment on this item
Lynn's picture
Submitted by Lynn on Mon, 07/10/2006 - 1:31pm.

We were having a conversation about plastic surgery in the forum a while back. So I was interested to read this at Attachment Parenting Blog: The secret to happy moms: plastic surgery? They were approached by a clueless PR firm trying to peddle a plastic surgeon. The opening of the query is classic:

Mothers everywhere know that "she looks good...for a mom" is not the ideal compliment. Women want to look and feel attractive with no disclaimer attached.

uhhh...huh? "She looks good, for a mom?!" Who in the history of the planet has ever said that? "Hey, I've got a good idea," say the PR firms. "It's a great way to make women feel even worse about themselves--and thus, buy more stuff! We'll equate motherhood with ugliness. Boffo!" Haven't these guys heard of MILFs, not that I'm wild about that lovely phrase either? whatEVER.

Maybe I'm just cranky because I got a review copy today of the upcoming book "Mommies Who Drink," which, in spite of the stupid title, looks to be a funny read. Something about the marketing of these kinds of things makes me crazy. From the cover blurb:

Join Brett Paesel and her mommy friends at Happy Hour every Friday as they try to reconcile modern motherhood with their carefree pasts: planning, for instance, to do cocaine again, only to discover that they don't have a babysitter, or worse, the energy to put the evening together. Paesel takes the reader through prenatal yoga classes with a celebrity guru, the purse party of a famous friend, and a deadly dull playgroup where she fantasizes about graphic sex while the other mothers discuss their toddlers' eating habits.

Now keep in mind it's not Brett's book that's making me crazy--I've read like ten pages of it--it's the *marketing* of Brett's book. Who in ghu's name are they pitching this book to? And why, when I have so many fabulous writermama friends with fabulous books is this book getting such a heavy push? (I know, the writer is a hip actress with a hip attitude and she used to do hip things like snort cocaine in limos. I remember my drug and alcohol days as being so much less fun. Yeah, I long for the return of glamorous two day hangovers. ) But what do I know? I'm one of those deadly dull moms who don't plot late night cocaine runs only to discover we don't have sitters. Thank ghu.

Bookmark/Search this post with:
delicious | digg | reddit | google | yahoo | technorati | stumble upon | sk*rt
Technorati Tags:
Comment on this item

email this page | printer friendly version | quote | Lynn's blog
( categories: )

Related items you may be interested in:
Shaun's picture

I'm with ya

Submitted by Shaun on Mon, 07/10/2006 - 2:36pm.

The whole Three-Martini Playdate, Pimpfant, etc. model of families is really annoying to me. I try to recognize that with various addiction issues in my "family of origin" and my "family of right now," my sense of humor may be lacking. But it's more the "cooler than the average mom," "cooler than my mom," "cooler than those soccer moms/granola moms/cookie-baking moms" vibe that makes me nuts.

Shaun
www.homeschoolblogger.com/shaunms

» email this page | quote | reply
Jilsyt's picture

It's EVERYWHERE!!

Submitted by Jilsyt on Mon, 07/10/2006 - 7:10pm.

Lately, I've suffered from the "Geez, you must be a mom." syndrome. What do I mean? I walk into Wal-Mart to grab one thing (it's close, I was up late) and I had on a pair of sweats and a running jacket. My hair is curly & if I don't diffuse it I have super fro, so I had a ponytail in. Some guy had the nerve to say (just while walking by), "Oh, you must be a mom." Then later, I took a bit more care on my dress to run to the library. I had my 2 kids with me (ages 2.5 & 6 mos)...a lady walks up to me and says, "Are these your only children?" Yes--I reply, thinking I'd get the usual 'they're so cute', but she goes on to say, "Hmmm, you must have decided to wait til you were good and ready to start your family." I sorta popped..."READY? What, do I look old? I waited til I was 21, does that seem too OLD for you?" Sheesh!!! Perhaps it's those folks the marketers are trying to target.

» email this page | quote | reply
JJ's picture

its a weird culture we have here

Submitted by JJ on Mon, 07/10/2006 - 7:58pm.

I was recently in contact with an ex-gf of mine. This is the gal I was in a 2.5 year relationship until a short while before I met Lynn. One of the reasons we didn't work out is that she didn't want children. Not for vanity, but she just wasn't interested.

She is quite happily married in another city, loves her career, and has a marvelous outlook on life. She travels, and is a David-Bowie-Aholic, catching his shows all over the US. It was very nice to talk with her. I hope she looks us up when she comes to town (I rarely make it to her part of the NW.)

One thing that struck me is that she NOW wants kids. She is 38 years old. We had kids late in the game (our youngest was born when Lynn was 40), but I think she would ahve prefered to be a bit younger.

I wonder if the desire to "keep it sexy" into motherhood is a reaction to our overemphasis of (imaginary) sexual compulsion within our society as whole. Is it linked to the doomed failure of (everything-is-perfectly-equal-so-ignore-all-differences) feminism?

Or is it because the daughters of the post-bra-burning feminists so readily jumped to accept strip-bars and thong panties?

Or is this nothing more than women reclaiming their sexuality as a form of parental identity?

This is something OTHER than the Murphy Brown-style have your kid and eat the career stuff that Quayle didn't understand. Not the same vibe.

OTOH, maybe its externally applied. Maybe the *men* in our culture are demanding this of our women. Perhaps too many years of "Juggies" magazines and MTV?

One important thing to remember about Marketers is that they always play to weakness; theirs or yours. If they say they have "Phenomenal Customer Service," you can be dang sure that you will end up getting cheesed off. If they say it will help you lose 40 lbs, then it's a ripoff, sure as a mile. The best products speak for themselves. Customer Service isn't advertised, its learned by word of mouth.

The short answer: i agree with Jill. They have found their market.

» email this page | quote | reply
Kerri's picture

Either this is a US thing

Submitted by Kerri on Mon, 07/10/2006 - 11:59pm.

or I'm so out of it myself that I wouldn't notice it if it came up and bit me. That probably applies to Singapore too, although parenting is so seriously messed up over there it's hard to compare in short sentences, which are all I can manage this morning. But I can certainly understand everyone's aggravation at all this.

Kerri.

» email this page | quote | reply
jennye's picture

It ain't here

Submitted by jennye on Tue, 07/11/2006 - 8:07am.

Or at least I haven't noticed it. So I don't think it's a US thing as much as it's a sectional or possibly just urban US thing.

Or maybe I'm just too out of it myself. LOL! But I have no desire to be any of that. At the same time, reading Lynn's other blog entry, I have no desire to jump on the knitting wagon, of any sort. Smiling

» email this page | quote | reply

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You may quote other posts using [quote] tags.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.
  • Web and e-mail addresses are automatically converted into links.
More information about formatting options