TAKING CHARGE June 06

We are getting really untidy. First, I need to tidy up. Then, I need to think of some ways that I can build tidying routines into my day/week. Any thoughts? Any tips? Anyone else?

Kerri, how's everything with your children? I wish I had something useful to say on the subject, but I have zero experience of that age group since I was there myself!

Lenora, how is everything with your family?

Honey, how's that OU stuff going? Is your tutorial coming up soon?

Becky, how's the unpacking going?

Anyone else taking charge this month?

Now, I must go and write some words on eighteenth-century circulating libraries

Zillah

WHEW! Sufice it to say that in the past 5 weeks since MIL's surgery(ies) I've felt "in charge" of NOTHING! It seems as if we are finally in "recovery" mode (as opposed to "survival" mode which is STILL better than where we were 10 days ago...) BIL left last Sunday and SIL left this morning. DH is traveling again (a sure sign of how much better MIL is!) and while everyone else is getting back to "normal"...today is the last day of school so I'm trying to wrap MY brain around sharing a wonderful summer with the girls AND doing Hospital/Doctor/Therapy monitoring AND keeping MIL pacified ("recovery" = bad mood and no patience from the patient!)...AND I have a (preliminary) job interview this afternoon on top of all that!

Thanks for asking Zillah!

Here is my newest favorite thing: the best $7.00 I've spent this year! ***Note: click on "about" and then the "Free sample page" link for a preview!)

Seriously, I could see that while my "Clean Sweep" schedule had worked fine for quite a while, I needed/wanted a different strategy. I can't even remember now how I found the calendar, but I purchased it in the 5.5 x 8.5 format and punched holes in the pages to flip opposite my daily calendar in my planner. I've been on this for about three months now and it's really working for us! I also like that it "schedules" quiet time, exercise, and weekily time for hobbies!

***Lynn, I don't know if there is anyway to set up a link that gives you any credit...but really...I LOVE this and think it's a terrific tool!

I must go press the suit and blouse I'm wearing this afternoon!
Love to all!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

Slowly, but it's happening. We are going to install our air conditioner today so that it will be cooler and more motivating.

we went away for 3 days very unexpectedly, very last minute and came back to absolute chaos at home. Well.. nothing had leaked or exploded I suppose but DH wasn't feeling well last night after driving all round London for days, and I'd been navigating him all the way so we've still got a suitcase in the middle of the living room with all our other clutter and no energy to shout at the kids really!

gotta pretend we might invite my parents over today or tomorrow so I get it all blitzed... rotting apples, yellow broccoli and mouldy bread to name but a few of the items on my chucking list!

Lenora you've been doing really incredibly well and I'm sure you've managed to keep everyone else sane with your usual grace. You remind me a bit of a swan... there's the energetic flapping below the surface to provide propulsion but above the surface appears nothing but total serenity and calm grace. I'm sure your girls are getting better and better at helping you out and knowing when to entertain themselves, so I'm sure you'll make it through the holidays having had plenty of fun and still spent time with your MIL, who is a very lucky lady it seems.

Zillah - thanks for starting a new thread. It could've taken days before I noticed... or cared!

Honey - I think you know I've been thinking a lot about you the last few days... I wonder whether that's the Aldi she mentioned shopping in; oh look, that's the road she used to live on.... I think DH got a bit tired of it! Hope you're feeling better and so sorry we couldn't get together this time.

Kerri.

Hi guys

Lenora, that link looks great I bought the book you recommended a while back too, and implemented some of the ideas. Consistency is not my strong point though

Becky - how are you liking your new home?

Kerri, sorry not to see you when you were in my area this week You wouldn't have wanted to catch this cold I've got though, it's been more like a mild flu. I was really rough for a couple of days, and am still really breathless and all bunged up.

Zillah - I had my first tutorial last week! I have been working through the course material for a while anyway although the course didn't officially start until 1st June, so my tutor suggested doing my tutorial earlier too. All tutorials for this course are by telephone, which I was dreading (hate talking to people I don't know on the phone), but it went well. I'm going to start another thread for all my waffle on this subject. You can give me the benefit of all your wisdom over there Dr Zillah

More like Ugly Duckling! But thanks, Kerri for being so sweet! I am managing to keep us fed and clothed...I'm not certain about "sane!"

Honey...I still use most of the ideas in that book: I keep my mission statement in sight (figuratively and literally); I keep a master todo list and project pages going, too. I don't have "housekeeping" as a project anymore, though, until/unless I start a major event (like the basement, which MUST be done this summer!) In that case, this calendar works great. I can delegate easily, too, and no one spends more than 10-15 minutes most days on keeping the house presentable!

We skipped church this morning. Our pastor is on vacation and I wasn't particularly interested in hearing the woman who was speaking this morning. DH went to hang with MIL so I've jumped on the "laundry-train" this morning. Bedding is ALL done and back on the beds (BOY did that need done!) and I only have one load waiting to get thrown in the washer....of course, the clean stuff is all stacked on the dining room table, but the DDS and I are sorting clothes today, too, and there's no sense in putting things away just to move them around in an hour!

I'm hoping the rain lets up by dinner time. I've got steaks for DH to grill for dinner. He's off to South Dakota next week....is there anything in SD?????

I'm beginning to get a sense of "myself" back. It feels good!

Love to all,

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

Oops... I knew there was something I hadn't done recently!

and aren't there Black Hills in SD??

I'm supposed to be amending 4 legal contracts again today but DH and his ex-boss are having a grumble on Skype which is taking hours - and they say women gossip!! I should add that the ex-boss is in Singapore and it's now 5am there so he can't have slept at all. I can't really concentrate in this small office when I can hear both sides of the conversation. Think I'd better have a bath and start fresh... it's already after 10pm, and I went back into the garden till 9:30pm to play with some weeds, scatter some seeds and dig up some desperate flower beds. The most nutrient-rich component of that bed was the cat poo!

now that I decided to take a bath the conversation finished and DH comes back to me grizzling about his hotel for next week! ARGH!

Kerri.

Ooouuf. Got Monday morning done We are vacuumed, supermarketed and farm shopped and, since it's a gloriously sunny day, I've washed all the underbedding from out beds and aired the duvets and pillows. Know what?, I can't wait to get into bed this evening

That site was interesting, Lenora, I've been thinking for a while about doing something like that for myself and that's given me some good ideas. I might tackle it next week when my next chapter is in.

About that tidying. I think I've got three really horrible areas, what I think flylady would call hotspots: the kitchen table, the kitchen dresser where my housekeeping book lives, and the desk. I'm going to tackle one each night for the next 3 nights, then find a moment in my day when each gets some attention. Let's see if that makes any difference

Now, to the kitchen chaos!

Zillah

Plans for the day include:

Visit MIL
Pool with DDS
Dinner
Excavate dining room table which is still burried under laundry!

Two hours of sun is probably all our skin will take this early in the season, so I may come home and cut the grass, too. If that is the case, I'll set the DDS to staining the deck railing and lattice and try to get a coat on the deck itself after dinner. DH powerwashed it last weekend, but we haven't had 24 hours without rain since! The forecast says no rain until Thursday, so we'll give it a shot!

Zillah, the room checklists from OrganizedHome are a good place for task-lists, too. I printed out lists for the rooms that I needed, edited for the tasks I could delete and added a few extra to cover Gunnoe-specific tasks (like Bob the lizard ) and then set the weeks by considering what else I had going on! Of course, daily/regular chores had to be added so I generally used Mondays and Fridays for that. It's all about picking-and-choosing what works for you and your family! I have the advantage of having kiddos big enough to really do a good portion of the work...and that helps, too!

I need to head to the hospital, now, though, so see you later!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

I'm mostly in Flybabies of course, but anyway-- we installed our air conditioner yesterday ($50 for a window unit!) and are still chipping away at unpacking.

Got a call-back from last Thursday's screening interview: they want to see me...in the morning at 9:30...with a prepared 20 minute lesson!

Went to the pool for a couple of hours with the DDS anyways, after visiting with MIL....all else is on "hold" until I decide on a topic!

HMMMMMMmmmmmmmm

I'm thinking "Dealing with Stress!"

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

and if it's such short notice that might be part of the test, to see how you can cope with last minute prep. Might be an idea to keep a lesson plan or two on hand (once this is out of the way) so you won't get caught on the hop by any other interviewers (or real-life job sitations!).

it's too early in the morning for anything to have happened yet. DH is off today for a second meeting with that important shop tomorrow, and for checking out more shopping centres. That means I get to call my time my own a bit more (instead of wasting hours booking hotels or looking stuff up for him) so I should be able to go grocery shopping and maybe do something other than supermarket shopping without either offspring or DH - that would be a joy!

I also have a list of work to do as long s your arm, and most of it is overdue thanks to our 3 day jaunt last week, AND I now have to dash off and make the kids' lunches for school.

Kerri.

Good Luck, Lenora. Fingers crossed for you

Well, I didn't get round to the table last night. DH came home in the mood for a glass of wine in the garden, so, what could I do? I'm going to do it now while DD's asleep. I think I've seen a good place for DD's 'days of the week' notice board, which seems to be attacting junk.

Kerri, enjoy your 'me' time, you don't seem to get that much at the moment.

Now I'm off to check out the room lists on Organised Home. I love lists

Zillah

I have a hospital appointment at 1:40pm. Before then I plan to have achieved something substantial at my desk (something to do with my neglected accounts) so that I can allow myself to go out and do the grocery shop. If I do that today, allow tomorrow afternoon for a quick trip to a different shop in a different area (Lidl to you Honey!), then on Friday I may actually be free to do some clothes and other shopping. Maybe.

That's the plan, so now it's time to do the work!

Kerri.

The interview went well. I sat with three administrators and two teachers for a little over an hour yesterday morning. It was actually very pleasant and we had a few laughs and a bit of fun, too. Yesterday afternoon I received a call asking me to meet with the district Director of Human Resources...today...at 1:30. I won't go into a bunch of details yet, but it certainly is a position I'd consider seriously (and happily!) if I get an offer.

I got the lawn mowed, and the dining room table excavated yesterday...had a nap and took the DDS to see MIL after dinnertime. (Notice I didn't say "after dinner!" I don't think any of us ate off a plate all day!)

Today's plans include a quick visit with MIL this morning, pick DD15.75"s BFF, the meeting with the HR guy, and hopefully time at the pool in the late afternoon. The weather-guy is calling for "scattered" thunderstorms but hopefully, we'll squeeze in some swim time!

I picked up a pattern and some fabric to make DD11 some summer clothes. I HATE most of what is out there for girls her age/size (too skimpy, too short...too "100% cotton" which looks horrible if you don't iron it and I am not going to iron summer play clothes!...and most doesn't fit her nicely anyways. The pattern is for a top, and capri's. *NOTE if you click the link, you have to type "4572" in the search box to see the pattern, sorry! I'm going to do one pair of capris and two pair of shorts (I have 3 sets of fabric with solids for the bottoms and prints for the tops. I meant to have them done well before now...but "life occurs!"

Love to all!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

DD would never go for that, even though it's plain and simple. She has such a long list of things she doesn't like in clothes that she's nearly impossible to buy for. I accidentally raised the issue of a future clothing allowance (she's not quite 10, so this is a few years away yet) and I'm thinking of doing a couple of 'dry runs' with her, see how she responds. Basically, take an imaginary budget and let her see what she could get for her money. She actually needs some clothes so if I can get her to seriously consider clothes under this pretext I'm off to a good start. She seemed intrigued! She asked about footwear and I said that all school uniform and shoes would be paid for by us, but the rest is hers. If she can look after trainers I'll probably buy them occasionally, but if she wears them out at her current speed then she'll be spending a lot of money on footwear. What does anyone else do with kids and clothes?? My DD has so little dress sense it's almost unbelievable - just no awareness at all of how awful she lets herself look. Fortunately for me she's skinny and short so we aren't going to have a tussle over bras for a while yet - that really will force her to 'be a girl' and she'll hate it I know. I just bought a swimming costume for her that she could agree to... it was a plain navy blue costume for school wear. Well that's what she needed it for, but once you chop out bikinis and anything pink or frilly or revealing (by which she includes 'holes in the back') we really had very little choice.

I could carry that rant on forever but I'll let you all off. I just imagine Lenora's girls all nicely turned out and looking so fresh and responsible and I get a little envious at times!

I've... ummm... ah yes, I did the grocery shopping as planned. Went to the hospital and got all the tests done and next appointment made. I also did some work on my accounts first thing, so it's not all bad today. And I'm back in shorts again which is kinda nice. I got so used to wearing shorts for everything that I don't care about the stubby white candlesticks sticking out of the bottom any more. There are plenty of people who look far worse than I do, especially in this country. In Singapore with so many skinny females around I looked quite chunky.

I have some more work to do before I figure out dinner, so I'd better get moving.

Kerri.

I read the previous posts too quickly and thought Kerri had been in the hospital with stubby white things sticking out of her bottom

I have achieved precisely nothing today, thanks to a) having a new book to read (read the whole thing this afternoon) and b) chatting to Kerri on msn for two hours.

I haven't even done the Open University thing that I should have already sent to my tutor. Better go and do that now then.......

that messes up any chance of me lying through my teeth about what a productive day I've had.

Kerri.

DD and I made elderflower cordial and lemonade today. DD not at all impressed that she has to wait until tomorrow to drink the lemonade and FOUR days to drink the elderflower. We had fun picking the elderflowers too, out in the early-morning sunshine. However, then she reminded me that she is two by refusing to come home, dawdling like crazy and running away at every opportunity!

Well, the table is tidy-ish. I'm off to work on the dresser top now whilst DH is at a meeting about a mobile phone base station that someone wants to put up JUST over the road from out house. Hummph.

Lenora, hope everything works out the way you want

Kerri, the idea of you looking chunky is quite strange!

Now, to the kitchen!

Zillah

my efforts at producing a 'summer' drink that isn't plain water or over-fizzy, over fatterning Coke (which really doesn't do me much good in large quantities) came up with a blend of sparkling water and cranberry juice!

the rest is a bit complicated for me!

Kerri.

...that cracked me up! She'll be tidy for exactly the 45 seconds it takes to get down the stairs from her room, out the door and into the yard! DD11 is short for her age, a bit round through the middle and also refuses to wear anything ruffled, gathered, lacy...or pink! Compile that with my refusal to let her wear too low-pants or too short-tops and the pickings are pretty slim...it's sew-or-go-naked! I found wonderful poly/cotton fabrics for $1.00-$2.97 a yard...which makes each outfit about $6.00.

Now for the big news: I got the job offer! I'll fill in the details tomorrow but I'm terribly excited!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

Great news Lenora, give us all the juicy details when you get a moment

I'm not getting any further with this dresser. The trouble is, that it's a really handy place for everyone to shove stuff onto, so they do. Hmmm, a firmer hand needed methinks.

Now I have to go and write a letter to the company that owns the pub over the road to tell them that if they put a phone mast on it I'll never darken their door again.

Zillah

Good morning friends!

Well it looks like I'm about to join (re-join) the ranks of working moms out there! (YIKES!)

I've been offered a 7/10 position at Normandy High School for 2006-2007! I will teach some of these classes (Actually the three on the right-hand side!) Because this is not "full-time,") I will have a shorter day...I don't have to be at school until almost 10:00 am...which means I'll be home to get the DDs off to school in the mornings!

It's not a bad drive either: about 35 minutes with no traffic problems.

DH and I agree that this position (hours and income) makes (providential) sense for all of us. The program is growing which means that the position has the potential to be full time in another year-or-so! Getting kids excited about LifeSkills is the starting point to growing the program and getting them equipped to lead healthy lives and have healthy relationships is the the goal, so IMHO the more kids in the program the better! (Getting off my F.A.C.S. soapbox now!)

Anyway! School starts August 23 and once I officially accept, "job hunt" comes OFF my summer project pages!

I'm "off" to see MIL right now, though, and plans for the rest of the day will depend on the weather!

Love to all!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

I think they're really lucky and soon they'll know just how lucky they were to find you. With the outstanding results you got it's hardly surprising that you would get snapped up quickly.

My DD is very short for her age too - I'd measure her but she's not here right now and I really don't know her current height, but she's been confused with the Yr1 and Reception kids who are 4-6yrs so that gives you an idea! She's not interested in anything revealing either, which is fine because she knows I wouldn't let it happen. She hasn't a shred of 'brand awareness' yet, so that makes her cheap to maintain. I look in the boys' section sometimes which cheers her up no end!

I've done nothing today. Well... okay, I have a load of beeding in the machine downstairs hich is done and ready to be dried. I got the rubbish out early and sent DS off to school with old dolls house furniture for tomorrow's summer fair at school. I then ran the school library and got maybe 5 customers, so I tidied for quite a while. I sat around while the kids had 45mins of breaktime instead of the usual 15mins. Then I managed to do high frequency words with ONE child before it was lunchtime. At least that kid did really well, far better than I feared, but then it was only recognising the very basic words... as his teacher said "FABULLOUS JORDAN (it's only taken 3yrs!)" Needless to say the bit in brackets was whispered for my benefit only! These kids are mostly 7 now and there are the best part of 20 out of a year group of about 90 for whom reading is still a major struggle.

I came home and had some lunch, highlighted next week's television viewing and then turned my computer on at last! And here I am... too late to do that shop in Lidl, no mood for work (and no time to get the mood) and I'll be back to collect the kids in less than an hour. Better go move the washing over at least, and maybe I can use the time now to plan dinner instead, so I can maybe get going later.

one piece of good news though... I caught up with Dominic's English teacher at lunchtime and she said that his behaviour has been dramatically improved so far this half term (this wee basically) and his work is brilliant as a result. I shall have to tell him that. Apparently me threatening him with stuff before he started back was beneficial!

Kerri.

That's great Lenora! Hope you like it - I know you will do well. Nice to ease back into it too.... I worked PT for 5 years before going FT this year!
Andrea

You'll do great work and they'll love you.

Comngratulations on your new job! And congratulations to the school too, they're lucky to have you

It has been a good day for taking charge, so I had to come and brag a bit.

I registered 4 vehicles on the DMV website.

Scheduled my Commercial Driver's Liscence Test

Paid a bunch of bills, including several on-line because I'm out of checks.

Got the details of my summer tutoring position nailed down. (48 hours between June 19-August 25)

Got payroll done.

Paid payroll taxes due next week.

Got the dumb dog registered.

There, now maybe I can sleep tonight!
-Jo

P.S. Well Done, Lenora! You are going to be an amazing teacher, I only wish my kiddos could have you!

that certainly sounds like my definition of a productive day. Especially getting payroll out of the way.

Kerri.

I'm very excited about getting started on this new adventure! I'll be touring the school and meeting the other FCS teacher later this week. My name goes before the school board on Monday, June 19, and I have an appointment on the 20th to do all the paperwork!

In the meantime it's business (busyness? ) as usual.

We did finally get the deck stained and sealed this afternoon. DH, DD11, and I make a pretty good team. I came face-to-nose with a baby bunny hiding in the hostas in my back flowerbed this afternoon, too. What a sweetie! No bigger than a handfull. I put out a couple of carrots and a few lettuce leaves as an apology for scaring the little darling but will henceforth remain "hands-off."

MIL is still improving, but since she's off the NG feeding, she's experiencing major nausea...unfortunately the medicinal remedy for that causes SEVERE (in her) paranoia, halucinations, and anger. I had to pitch an absolute FIT last summer about this same medicine and it looks like I'm going to be giving an encore performance....tickets anyone?

So, the hissy-fit is at the top of my list for tomorrow. The forecast is only borderline pool-weather (low 70's) all week but we'll probably go anyways. I think DH is in town ALL WEEK, which means I'll need to get to the grocery store at some point, too.

I've got one load of laundry to fold, then I'm off to bed!

Love to all!
Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

It's too hot and sticky to be productive today. DD and I went to the supermarket and farmshop. Did the week's stuff and got nice things to eat with DMIL tonight to welcome her back from Australia.

I need another glass of water . . .

Zillah

my dinner post got flagged as spam despite me making careful amendments. How come Zillah can talk about grilling nasty children and I can't talk about food!?!?

anyway we went out on Saturday - my parents' treat - as celebration for.... wait for it.... yes, DH managed to get an agreement on that fancy London shop, so he's virtually turning cartwheels these days. He also managed to almost get a final agreement on another lease in London, for our own outlet this time. I hope he comes down off Cloud 9 sometime soon because I'm wading in mire up to my neck, and he needs to accept that I need his help for a while longer till I really find my feet. I know he's busy, but at least he's mostly doing the same job he's been doing, with just a few whistles and bells on. I've gone from being a temp, via being a housewife for 10yrs to being director of a company expected to have 1m pound turnover in the first year - it's more of a culture shock than moving to Singapore was!

but I've had quite a productive day. Didn't come on here this morning which may be partially responsible. Did my morning pages. Took a 10min nap - I'm learning to improvise! And didn't forget to collect the kids from school, which I consider to be a bonus when the rest of my day is so busy and productive!

Kerri.

I learned which direction gallons of water go in my back hallway when the washing maching flips out and keeps (over)filling!

...it flows into the powder room, goes down through the heating vent, into the basement, and gushes on the storage boxes where I keep my out-of-season clothes, winter coats, etc....in case you were wondering!

And with that bit of info, I won't bother to report how I spent the morning.

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

hope you didn't lose anything, other than your precious time.

will post later, when maybe I've had some achievements, and not all my posts have been flagged as sp*m.

Kerri.

How frustrating, Lenora. It's terrible when you're powerless to stop something like that, isn't it? Just got to watch helpless as your stuff get's trashed

I've got this afternoon to organise things for the end of the week, as we're going to my grandmother's house tomorrow (taking her lunch), and I have a PhD day on Friday. So, food to prep, laundry to do and tidying to keep on top of.

Better get going!

Zillah

Well, it looks as if MIL will be coming home (here) tomorrow! Let me tell you...this has been the longest 9 weeks EVER....and I never want to do this again!

I was supposed to get a tour of my new school building/rooms this morning, but that has been put off until Monday. I have a million-and-one things that need done to get set for MIL and I really needed the time "at home" so it actually worked out well.

DD15.75's best friend and my niece are sleeping here tonight in order for me to get them up and off to Cedar Point and the East Ohio Youth Annual Conference. DD and DNiece are both voting delegates this year.

I have absolutely NOTHING done for Father's Day, for DH or for my dad. Sheesh...must add that to the list, too.

The water from the washing machine only caused a mess...and a sizeable dry cleaning bill. Frustrating but not damaging! It seems to have been a fluke, too, and hasn't happened since. I'm not yet brave enough to start a load and walk away, though...I stand there and wait until the water stops filling!

OK! I gotta get moving!
Love to all!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

never having had one I'm not sure what they feel like but there have been a couple of occasions towards the end of last week and before when I felt like I was probably on the brink. Losing my temper and screaming is nothing new to this family, but still shaking from it and feeling very tetchy 48hrs later is fairly unusual for me.

I know that Supermom doesn't exist, but I'm not doing it deliberately. I don't have a proper office yet to share with employed staff, although it shot up the priority list last week. I am struggling with letting go of the kids. i just don't know how after so many years of only me looking after them I don't know how to find a complete stranger and let them go into that person's care. I mean I can find the stranger (and her credentials) but the letting go part, when the kids are begging me not to... Something's gotta give, though at the moment it's threatening to be my sanity.

DH has virtually taken over the laundry and pecious little else gets done round here other than meals, so that's a start, but there's still too much I have left to delegate somehow. I dragged both DH and myself into school this afternoon for an open day, to look at the kids' work and stuff. DH said I was a good mother, which is always nice to hear. Especially when I've just sent my kids to bed at barely 7:30pm in disgrace over dinner!

I daren't cut my fingernails at the moment you know... they seem to be all I'm clinging on by just for the minute!

on the upside the business is really starting to take off now - lots of customer orders, new outlets in the planning stages, incoming shipments of stuff, etc. That's why I'm struggling more I guess. Giving myself time isn't quite enough either. I shall have to get an office and get me some help!

before the help I need is psychiatric!!

Kerri.

Kerri, you need to get yourself some help, urgently. Everything seems to be going very quickly for you at the moment. Are you able to get help to ease the transition? You've not only got DS and DD to think about, but your own health. You don't want to end up really sick. You've all gone through such a big transition over the last 12 months - try to take care of yourselves.

We're having a quiet week here this week. So not much to report.

Lenora, hope things are going OK with your MIL. Do you have help with the nursing?

Hello everyone else!

Zillah

I've started a more concrete conversation with the kids today, telling them that I'm going to sign them up for the after school programme a couple of days a week, and really it's better to have fun a couple of evenings a week for a couple of extra hours after school than to end up with a mother in a mental institution. They saw it my way and I think they're coming round to the whole idea. The school has a board of info up about the club at the moment, including a list of all their activities each day for the last few months - arts and crafts of course, plenty of sports, and also nature related activities which really caught DD's attention. They may soon see that it beats being ignored by me till dinnertime.

had a good suggestion from Honey about 'outsourcing' some chores, like gardening, ironing, cleaning, that kind of thing. If she was on my dorrstep she'd be welcome to help me with my ironing! Actually we don't have that much so DH usually gets to it every few weeks.

we finally got ourselves a hedge trimmer, since all our neighbours have shamed us by trimming their hedges one after another, and after one attempt with shears I said 'never again'! We also had our garden waste bin from the council arrive the same day. Took me weeks to find the paperwork they sent back in April! Sadly I'm mostly dreaming of using that hedge trimmer on a certain person we do business with. We'll also have to be careful if we ever get to the hedge because a cat kindly confirmed for me that there's at least one nest in there, but it's in the way of the pavement so it needs trimming at least on the outside!

oh, and there's a visit to my grandmother I've promised for Saturday. If I'm lucky she may tell me she feels too ill for us to visit (she's a hypochondriac!). And a judo competition on Sunday, plus an England match. No time to watch all the matches now, but we're trying to watch the good ones and definitely the England ones. And, and, and...

...and it's midnight so I need to get to bed!

Kerri.

Goodness Kerri! You've got so much going on it's a wonder you can type at all! I second Honney's and Zillah's suggestions for DELEGATING as much as you can...even if you have to pay for it!

I'm well. MIL is doing great (that is, of course, "great" as relative to how ill she has been...KWIM?) We have visiting nurses 3 times a week, physical therapists twice a week, and she will have a health aid for bathing, too...even while here with us. When she feels up to going back to her apartment, she will likely have a home aid (housekeeping, personal care) 5 afternoons a week for a while.

The DDS are at GS day camp this week...DD15 is a "Porgram Aid" and DD11 is attending. They're having a good week.

DH is gone again...only until tomorrow night but is expecting to be back in South Dakota at least 4 days nest week. That stinks, as our wedding anniversary is next Friday and he missed it last year.

I "officially" signed my teaching contract yesterday. That was good! I bought myself a new outfit to celebrate since nobody else was going to make a fuss!

That's all from me!
Love to all!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

I am sick of the World Cup! Almost every house in our street is decked out in flags, all the cars have them, no one talks about anything else, the newspapers and tv are full of it....we usually do watch the England matches but this year I am sick of it before it's hardly started. Am I a miserable old bat?

I'm glad you've managed to get the children to agree to the after school club, Kerri. I still think my other idea about a mother's help was a good one, so bear it in mind. Has one of your neighbours got a teenager who would come and play with the kids for a couple of hours sometimes to keep them out of your hair? I know my teenager would, shame you're so far away

Another idea is to try the flylady approach again - I know it's not really your thing, but as you are now going be so busy, being organised has to be a plus point. It's one I am working on myself (with varying degrees of success). Zillah is quite organised, I think. Zillah, did you ever post your 'Quakerly homemaking' thoughts for us? I don't think you did

I am panicking like mad right now because I have an assignment due next week and I have not the slightest clue what I am going to write. The subject is something like 'How do I see myself at this point in time?'. I would much rather write about something else, not myself. WHY did I pick this course? Someone remind me.

you picked it because in order to know what you want to do with the next phase of your life you need to have a good hard look at yourself and know what you'd really like to do.

I'd just picked up the after-school informaiton as I started reading your post. I really wish your DS was around here - it would solve my problems and his problem of looking for a bit of a job all at the same time, and my two would be thrilled! We've got a younger teen next door who actually likes playing with them (can't stand her own youngest sister who's in between them on age, so that causes trouble) but I don't think I could quite ask her to do that. They aren't so young that they need to be amused all the time really, but the school day is very short when you're trying to use it as a working day for getting phone calls and appointments sorted. They play outside a lot now the weather's good, they read and get up to all kinds of mischief like any other kids I suppose. Having experienced me being really ill when they were a few years younger they're not bad at taking themselves off while I work. I just feel bad about it and they know it. Having someone else to spend time with them would be nice so they didn't feel neglected.

I have no problem at all with housework - I just don't do it! I walk up the stairs and every time I see the corners getting greyer and geryer and try to remember the last time I vacuumed. AH yes... DD did it, not me. So maybe she'd like to prove to me that she's ready for a pet when her birthday coes round in August!! We've started having a discussion about it - just a hamster - but she'll have to be largely responsible for it with me as extra support not the primary caregiver! Could give me a couple of months of improved behaviour!!

what about everyone else?? I'm hardly the only one here that's only got one job - we're all branching out and trying to do full-time motherhood at the same time or so it seems. I always said we were a bunch of incredible women on this site!

Kerri.

I think the thing that keeps the house ticking over for me at times of crisis or PhD stress is having a set time that I do daily chores (cooking, dishes, tidying etc) and a set day and time for weekly chores (hoovering, cleaning etc). I guess that will be hard for you at the moment, Kerri, because you don't have a set routine for the rest of your life. However, the good thing about it is, that when you're too tired, busy or stressed to do it one week, you know it'll come round again next week. And get domestic help, for sure

Honey, you're right, I never did post Quaker perspective on homemaking thoughts. Actually I remembered it the other day and the thought flittered out of my brain again. I'm going to have a go a doing something tonight.

We're going away for the weekend tomorrow, so I have a ton of organising to do.

A friend of mine has a world war two (I think?) poster bearing the comforting message KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON. I think we need that right now

Zillah

That has been working lately is leaving notes.

I leave notes for the boys every morning before I disappear into the office. I remind them what's good to eat (so they don't eat what I was planning on for dinner) and leave them each a chore or two to do.

I think this is working because they have something constructive to do that is helping the family, and they get a sense of pride. It's not me screaming at them in a crisis to get this clean, or do that. They get to do it on their own schedule, as long as it's done by the time I get back.

Sometimes one of them will start dinner going (by peeling potatoes and such) and that has been a huge help.

I also like knowing that when they wake up, they have a note from me. It is more personal of a connection, and they know I am thinking of them, even if I am not with them that moment.

Anyway, are there any little chores youe kids could do on a regular basis during that after school time when they are not at the other program? It could keep the busy and focused, make time go by faster, and give them the stisfaction of helping, plus some of the jobs you aren't able to do could get done. Just a thought.

For What It's Worth.
-Jo

I wrote a chatty post when I had a minute...now I don't!

"Hello's" and "Hang-in-there's" to you all!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

to spam filtering.

That poster sounds wonderful!

thanks for everyone's sugegstions - it really does help to hear what others are doing to cope. We do need to b more organised about chores. I've always been pretty sloppy about that, probably because I never really had a set routine for them as a kid either. I helped out because it was just the done thing, but nothing major at all. I know I can ask DD to vacuum a bit for me, and there are other things. DS is very vague and temperamental so he helps out enthusiastically when he's in the mood and other times can't even be trusted to pick his dirty underwear up off his floor!

Kerri.

Hopefully my post from Wednesday will pop up soon!

We are doing pretty good. MIL is here and doing very well! We'll have a visit from a RN and from physical therapy today. The nurse is coming 3 times a week and PT is starting with 2 days this week and may move to 3 next week. Honestly, MIL is making HUGE strides in both strength and balance on her own! WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!

The DDS have been at GS day camp this week...it's rained every day but Girl Scouts NEVER stop the fun for the weather and they've had a good week. DD15.75 is leading the "craft" station in one of the cabins so she's come home pretty clean most days. DD11, however has to strip to the skin in the laundry room before I'll let her in the house! Ahhhhhhh, Mud! She was due for a pair of tennis shoes for the summer anyways; I'm glad I didn't buy new already!

DH has been out-of-town this week, and is scheduled out next week as well. He's hoping to be home on Thursday. Friday is our anniversary and he missed it last year. We don't have big plans but my girlfriend offered to stay here with the girls and MIL if I wanted to "whisk" him away for a surprise. Not much "whisking" in the budget, though, so I thought I'd check a couple of the state park campgrounds for availability. He's off Monday and Tuesday the following week, too, which makes for a nice long 4-day weekend even if we don't leave until Saturday.

Waves hello to you all!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

I have far too many things happening this week which will limit my time at my desk, which usually means I'll have to work late hours to compensate. Today we're looking at some nearby offices with attached warehouse - fingers crossed they're ideal because they're very close to our house and the school, plus the price isn't bad. Tomorrow and Wednesday DH is down in London for work, so I'm off to collect stuff from our warehouse, which is an hour plus drive away. We need some of the stuff right where we can arrange for immediate collection. Thursday I'm in hospital for the dreaded scope which I knew would be coming eventually, so Wednesday I have to 'clean out' and that leaves me a bit weak and weedy. Thursday itself will be worse, but I sould be okay to walk round the corner to collect the kids while DH takes on the collection of my parents from the airport. Friday will be catch-up I suspect.

On the domestic front we have highs and lows. The low being the current state of the house and the fact that so much needs doing. The high mostly being DD who has discovered recently that I need help and she needs money and we can work in a mutuall beneficial way. Also she really wants that hamster so she's working hard to prove she's ready for it!!! Machiavelli had nothing on me folks! Another low though would be DS who has been seriously horrible all weekend, probably to maintain the balance while his sister is behaving so creepily well!

progress is being made, but this is one week I shall be glad to see the back of. I'm just hoping we've managed to add a new office address to our list ofthings achieved by the end of the week. Oh yes, and Flo is expected at the end of the week, just to finish things off beautifully! I'm signing the kids up for the after-school club THIS WEEK! But I probably won't have them start till next week.

Kerri.

We've been away for the weekend with the families from our Quaker Meeting - fantastic weekend, but we're completely shattered. DD is sleeping now, and I hope will have a good loooonnnnnnng nap to let me get back in control!

Lenora, glad to hear your MIL is doing well, I'm sure being in your home must be helping. Fingers crossed you get your anniversary trip

Kerri, hope that warehouse works out OK for you. Bad luck on your hospital trip. Just make sure you don't go back to full throttle too quickly afterwards

Couple of things I want to take charge of this week. 1) Drink more water. 2) find out if there are any fun things happening that DD might enjoy this summer during the holidays. 3) Get my new weekly/monthly chores routine off the ground. I got Cheryl Mendelson's Home Comforts out of the library again to poach her housekeeping lists from. 4) Read some papers and print out some eighteenth-century sermons.

Better get started

Zillah

I'm having MUCH trouble getting motivated today. It's noon and the only things I've accomplished today are one load of laundry and making "cornstarch goo" with DD11. Aunt Flo is here and I'm feeling rather lethargic and mopey as a result.

On the bright side, though...there isn't really a whole lot that I must do today! I mowed the grass yesterday evening, laundry is (almost) reasonable, MIL has been keeping the kitchen tidy so nothing is really demanding my attention. Of course there are a million-and-one things that I could be doing.....

I think I've decided to scrap the "garage sale" idea and just take the stuff I've been "saving" to Goodwill. I don't have the inclination to do all the prep work, nor spend a week-end selling the stuff. Blech! There! decision made! I think our local public library will take my overload of paperback novels, too (they sell them as a fund raiser)...

I've totally scrapped plans for trying to get away next week-end. DH's current project is taking all his time and attention and isn't quite done. Depending on how much more time it takes...he may end up in SD over the week-end. I'm not up for making big, romantic plans just to have them cancelled when he has to stay on the job. The program that he's writing is for 3M. It's DH's company's first "in" with them so it's rather important that all goes well! (Read that as "DH has no choice!")

I don't mean that to sound "whiney," I'm awfully proud of the work my DH does and the lovely life he provides for our family.

Haven't decided on dinner or anything else yet...I guess I ought to get going!
Love to all!
Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

I have no idea what I've done!

why there were suddenly so many posts - duplicate or triplicate would expain it better than sudden enthusiasm.

the office/warehouse space looks great so I'm meeting up with a contractor over there on Wednesday morning. It needs some work, but there's only one structural thing really and the landlord needs to make that adjustment anyway, so we won't have to spend much money for that part. The rest is tarting up, wiring stuff, decorating, furniture - it's not cheap, but we think it's a very doable option. See what the contractor has to say. He's a sensible, decent guy who will probably tell us we can do some bits later if we don't want to spend all at once. I have a good amount of faith in him.

Also got ours and DS' bedding washed and mostly back on the beds today, which is something that doesn't get done often enough in our case. DS' gets done frequently, but it smelled dodgy, so I chucked it in as well.

DD is going full guns on planning for her potential hamster so I got her to agree to let go of the dratted rocking chair in her room. Put it up on Freecycle this afternoon and I've already had a nibble from someone in this area. It will free up a lot of space for a more sensible piece of furniture. She's got old-fashioned lift-up school desks so she can't put a hamster cage on those and will need something extra for that.

Really not an awful day at all. Oh yes - I've started filling in the forms for the kids to go to the after school club. I'm inching gradually closer and expect to start them next Thursday (DS has a sports day on the Wednesday, but otherwise we're thinking Wed/Thu). It's close to school holidays now (20 July) but in a way that's not so stupid because it lets them in gently. And me!

Lenora - shame on you for letting a sick invalid clean your kitchen!!! Even I wouldn't stoop to such depths. Unless maybe she made a really good job of it I suppose!!!

Zillah - what a brilliant reminder to get the Cheryl Mendelson out of the library. We still haven't bothered with the main library because the mobile library is proving quite adequate so far, surprisingly. For novels anyway. I'm testing out new authors too because obviously I need to broaden my horizons or a mobile library will eventually run out of books to tempt me. Didn't find anything in the non-fiction section so far - it's not very wide-ranging.

Kerri.

So here I am Finally finished the darn thing and emailed it to my tutor. I actually enjoyed it once I started work on it, it was the thinking about it that was the worst. Hate having to analyse myself, and that what's this course is all about. Hopefully I will come out at the end having learned something about myself, even if it's only that resistance is futile and I should just get on with things

I am off tomorrow to enrol on a computer course, which will hopefully help me to find a job. They all want computer qualifications these days! In fact I used to be a computer operator in a previous life but that was in the days when we had disks that were about 20 inches across and weighed a ton. Back in the Dark Ages!

Other than that, not a lot is happening. I am determined to get more organised (ha! where have you heard that before?) and this time I Am Going To Do It. I need a regular housework day, regular times to go and do the computer course (it is on a drop in basis) and regular times for Open University studies. I might start with regular bedtimes and mealtimes, they might help!

New Healthy Me plan under way too. More on New You.

... that I may have unintentionally poured a bucket of icy water over that plan Honey. I applaud any and all efforts (I'm not making any!), so please feel free to ignore whatever ramblings I came up with.

Kerri.

Yes, I just ignored you

Well, I attended the induction session for the computer course (New Clait, for those who know). It's 60-100 hours, according to whether I do some extra bits or not, haven't decided about that yet. I will be going for 2-3 2 hour sessions a week, even more if I can manage it. I want to get this done and out of the way asap. I don't really want to do it, I just know I have to do it! Kind of like taking medicine

Things to take care of today-

Measure self properly to establish bra size, (have lost 1/2 a stone) and order bras from catalogue.

Find recipe for lemon chicken for this evening.

Work on plan for organising days as in my post yesterday.

Study

measuring for bra size but apparently I don't exist, so I gave up on buying new bras for now!

you certainly got your own back by mentioning medicine. **TMI WARNING**

I've got a scope tomorrow morning and between now and then I have to get through a theoretical 4litres of the most disgusting muck you can ever imagine drinking. I've tried adulterating it with lemon and sugar (I'm thinking gin next, so at least I won't care what the next 3litres taste like!) but I'm struggling to make it down the first glass. This stuff is for 'internal cleansing' so if everything's clean before the end of the first litre or so I get to not keep going. Should have drunk Coke for lunch!

And of course I can't eat between 3pm today and when it's all over tomorrow. I don't think I'll get woken up with a warm cup of Milo either as I was in Singapore - that's a chocolate drink made by Nestlé but strangely unavailable in Europe. I just hope I pass out good and quick, and then after that I've only got a CT scan which is a dream compared to drinking this vile filth.

so I'm unofficially taking the afternoon off, as well as tomorrow. I already feel sick!

can't think of anything upbeat to end with... might go and read, or have a nap maybe. I've got easy stuffed pasta and creme fraiche for the kids' dinner (DH is back much later tonight) and noodles for tomorrow, which can be cooked by DH and improvised up or down, depending on whether I feel like eating by then. Knowing how to shop is an integral part of knowing how to eat!

Kerri.

That sounds like the absolute pits! 4 LITRES!!! I don't think I could drink 4 litres of anything, let alone disgusting gloop.

Well done on that assignment Honey, good to get these things out of the way. How's your week planning going? I'm doing a new one at the moment, and I'm at that lovely stage when it's all theoretical and my life WILL be wonderfully organised when I implement it

Tomorrow I'm going to go sale shopping for clothes for DD for next summer. How organised is that?

Zillah

I've mixed it with 90% Coke because it said I could have soft drinks - now it only tastes a bit like root beer, which I don't like but it doesn't make me gag. Hope the soft drinks didn't mean only clear lemonade I'd hate to have to do it all over again. Next time I must remember to just not eat anything for three days - far preferable to this!

on Friday I'll be up and bouncing because it's over though, so that's a plus point! And it's only my second ever scope, which isn't too awful, and the fact that I had so many lab results and things from Singapore has also made it much easier for them to really see what's happening.

should be in bed, but i figure I should be in for a morning nap tomorrow, courtesy of the pethedine!!

Kerri.

but I was worried about the Coke! They fussed when I got there, because I never finished the first litre, and I was honest about it (I'll bet most people lie!), said that the exam might fail. I saw the report afterwards and it said that 'prep was good'! Hardly surprising considering other people had last eaten at 6pm or eaten ice-cream at 3pm, when I had last eaten lunch at 12:30pm! So it was fine. I wasn't totally out of it, but it wasn't as painful as last time. The nurse explained that the mix of drugs muddles up your sense of time and your memory... I think I may have some in my system still!

so I'm still a bit delicate today, but not too bad on the whole, and relieved I won't have to go for another one for quite a while. I knew this one would be on the horizon!

I am working though, with the odd break to lie down when I get sore. DH is cooking last night's noodles tonight - we had Chinese takeaway last night because it was 7pm before he got home from taking my parents back. They insisted on dropping here on the way, so it was a bit late before they left. I think it might be because DH sent them a message saying "I might be a bit late. Kerri's in the hospital." - I hadn't mentioned WHY he would be collecting them. My parents don't panic but I think they were a bit concerned!

Kerri.