Really Rough Morning

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HeatherA's picture
Submitted by HeatherA on Sat, 04/22/2006 - 10:31am.

So it's not even 11am and I am ready to call it a day. Today was Brady's first day of T-ball, and what a nightmare. Right before we left DH and I got in an argument because I got frustrated that he couldn't find DS mitt, even though I told him where it was (this happens all the time) and I huffed, which he found incredibly insulting (it was).
So argument unresolved we get to the T-ball fields, where we run into a woman that DH has been having a lot of trouble with at work (she is a little unstable, harassing him in a way that he can't say anything about, long story) which makes us all tense up (are we going to have to play T-ball with her here? No, luckily) Then DS will NOT participate from the moment go. Doesn't want his shirt, no name tag, cling to leg, then dead act in the grass (I'll have to attach a picture, it's amusing)
Ususally after dead act, he slowly comes to life, but then DH had to leave for work, and went to talk to DS (I warned him not too) and the tantrum came back in full force. After he left for work, I tried to make him stand on the side and watch and be a good teammate, the tantrum kept escalating. So we finally left in full blown hyperventalating crying ( I still have DD on my hip).
Got home, DH called and we talked... DS is sulking on my bed. He is so attached to the binky (his "me-me") and I am so fed up with it, I threw 2 away for his punishment for his poor behavior. I hesitate on cutting them out completely (but I think I'm doing to really start taking more drastic measures) becasue he has social delays that really come to light during events like today. He has been getting therapy, but I just worry so much that he will never be "normal" in society. He doesn't have enought of a delay to get Special Ed (we tested him, he is a 79 and you need to be a 77 to qualify) But today just really makes me sad that he can't participate. And I know his dad has these same social issues. It's hard when there is something that you just can't fix.
Any good cures for the binky issue? I will have to do away with DD's too, since he will steal hers to get his "fix".
And I intend to keep going to T-ball.
I'm glad I have this place to vent, I don't have many other places to dump it!

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jennye's picture

OMG, that picture is

Submitted by jennye on Sat, 04/22/2006 - 2:11pm.

OMG, that picture is hilarious! LOL!

Tball here too. I'm exhausted as well. So I can somewhat relate. Have a good one!

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Lynn's picture

Heather, I feel for you

Submitted by Lynn on Sat, 04/22/2006 - 3:30pm.

But that picture is hysterical. Smiling Just remember: This Too Shall Pass.

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

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Shaun's picture

Binky thoughts

Submitted by Shaun on Sat, 04/22/2006 - 6:12pm.

No really new ideas, but here are some things I've known to work for others.

1. Have a really small square of binky that he can have without it being obtrusive.

2. Set limits on when or where the binky can come out. (Only in bedroom? Only on the bed? Only at nap or night? If only in the bedroom, or only in a particular chair, then he'll have to decide whether he really needs a "recharge" with the binky or whether he'd like to interact with others, play outside, etc.)

So many very "normal" people have security objects well into teen-hood. (Adults also have lots of unacknowledged totems and rituals for everyday coping!) I guess I'd deal with any ways that the binky is interfering with specific tasks or events and find a way to compromise at other times.

Otherwise, hang in there!

Shaun
www.homeschoolblogger.com/shaunms

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jennye's picture

Re: Binky thoughts

Submitted by jennye on Sat, 04/22/2006 - 7:57pm.

Shaun wrote:

So many very "normal" people have security objects well into teen-hood.
Otherwise, hang in there!

I still sleep with a Teddy Bear (Sugar is her name) that I have had since I was 9! LOL! Well, she is always on my bed. I used to snuggle with her before the baby was born, he's took her place for now. But I love that teddy bear!

I'm a lucky one, I guess. All four of my kids loved their binky til they were about 3 or 4 months old, then all of the sudden rejected them. No reason, just didn't want them anymore. LOL!

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silverbear's picture

This too shall pass!

Submitted by silverbear on Sat, 04/22/2006 - 6:53pm.

Lynn's right.

My son used to "play dead" too. No temper tantrums or crying, mind you - just the passive resistance.

I had forgotten all about that phase until I saw your picture. Someday this will be a faded memory which evokes a wry smile for you as well.

Are you familiar with Carol Kranowitz's work? She is an expert in Dysfunction of Sensory Intergration, also called The Out-of-sync child. She has some good suggestions for helping kids who get overwhelmed/overstimulated in social situations.

Best wishes
Rose

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Anhata's picture

The Binky

Submitted by Anhata on Sat, 04/22/2006 - 9:53pm.

What worked for DD was after she weaned from the bottle to only use during naptime to calm her down, then eventually she didn't ask for it anymore. Can't say that that would work for any other child though, especially because for her it wasn't a true "security" thing, just moderately soothing.

Do you think he's attached to the binky because of the security/coping alone, or is there an element of oral craving/stimulation going on? Lots of people have low to mid level oral stimulation issues that go "unnoticed" because they use gum, toothpicks, chewing ice, even overeating or smoking to satisfy their need for more sensory stimulation in the mouth.

That's probably not what you're dealing with though. Never mind!

That photo is priceless. Man.

Anhata
www.familynaturally.com
Your Family's General Store, Naturally

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HeatherA's picture

Oral issues

Submitted by HeatherA on Sun, 04/23/2006 - 8:50am.

Yes, along with his social/emotional delays, he has some eating and speech issues too that we're working on. He never nursed "normally" and would react violently when I tried to introduce foods or even a different liquid. When he first tasted water, he made a sour lemon face, I had to mix breast milk with water, and slowly wean him into another taste. Now, most of his diet is milk and soy milk, along with a few other choice foods. So I do think he copes with some of that with the binky too, and it's hard to remove something when he doesn't have the tools to cope with that change. And he doesn't get to have it all day, only in the car, at quiet times, and if he has pushed the tantrum so far he can't calm down on his own.

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