Well, DS15 went to his first "teenager" party last night. I was an absolute wreck emotionally on the inside, but I think it went really well.
Now, I should tell you that my parents never let me go to a party. It always really bothered me, and I ended up lying to them about where I was, and spending the night with friends with neglectful parents. There was never the accountability for me to my parents. I never got to practice being responsible, and usually I was very irresponsible. When I was a senior I told my parents that I was going to the graduation party. Period. They almost threw me out of the house. For real. So, anyway,
He came to me right after school to ask permission, and he was respectful about it. (Maybe he learned after the New Year's Eve fiasco?) It was a birthday party for a female friend of his, but held at the house of a different female friend. The parents at the house the party was held at are very permissive.
My first reaction was to say, "No, no absolutely not!" But instead I took a deep breath and had a conversation with him about my concerns that there would be drinking and probably some marajuana too, and how would he handle that? I told him that the most important thing to me is that he is safe. We actually had a really good conversation with negotiation, and came up with a plan.
He could go, but we had to know who he was riding with. He had to be home by 12:00, and he had to come in and say goodnight to us. And of course, the biggest rule of all, he had to keep himself safe. I also reminded him that if there was drinking or smoking, and ANYONE needed a ride, we would come get them, no questions asked.
He left, and I cried. But when he got home, he came in to say goodnight and said that he had a very good time. He smelled fine, and his pupils were fine too. (I got up to "get a drink" and check him out) This morning he told me that he was very surprised that we said yes, thanked me, and said again that he had a lot of fun.
Oh man.
And so it begins.
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