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I am a new homemaker!

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HeatherA's picture
Submitted by HeatherA on Mon, 04/10/2006 - 1:11pm.

Hi!
Well I ofically quit my job of 12 years last week to stay home! My hubby and I feel so good about this decision ( isn't the reason why we had children was to raise them?) but on the flip side, I'm terrified of my new life! I have worked since I was 15 (now 30) and to me... being a homemaker is like a new job, but nobody is here to show me the ropes! I feel like I get through each day, but there is no rhyme or reason to it all. Maybe we'll do this, if there's time we'll do that, we may grocery shop at 10 am or 8 pm, whatever works that day. What works for you is what I really want to know! I feel like I'm swimming in the ocean instead of the pool. BTW my kids are 31/2 (Brady) and 13 months (Natalie) Both are in bed sick today, and here comes the sun!

‹ Goal - to be a better friend Are we doing a card exchange this year? ›
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jennye's picture

I know EXACTLY how you feel!

Submitted by jennye on Mon, 04/10/2006 - 1:56pm.

I know EXACTLY how you feel! When I was pregnant with my first we decided I would stay home with the kids. We knew my last day of work would be the day I had the baby (and it was). But up til then, I didn't look at it as merely quitting my job, but starting a new one.

I can't say I'm an expert at it, but it's been 9 years next month and I still love it. Every day is something new. Once my kids started school everything started to have more routine to it. And now that there are 4 kids, I try to do grocery shopping and errands when the older two are in school (mine are almost nine, almost 7, 3 1/2 and 4 months). Oh dear, school is out in 7 weeks, then it will be Walmart with all four of them! Yikes!! LOL! No, it isn't that bad. My oldest two are girls and are really big helps with the boys.

One thing I have tried to do is to do certain things on certain days. Vacuum on Monday (or more if needed). Groceries and errands on Thursday (and a quick trip for milk and bread on Sunday after church). Bills and checkbook on Friday. Mine works better on paper than in real life, since I do still have a REAL job (my husband and I run our farm together, so I'm kinda on call at all times incase he needs parts or food or help moving a tractor to a different field). But as the kids get older, the chaos that is my home and life has an order to it (ordered chaos! LOL!). As the calender fills up with all their activities, I get better at planning. LOL!

This is a great bunch of ladies here. Stick around and get to know us!

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heidic's picture

Welcome! Routines will fall

Submitted by heidic on Mon, 04/10/2006 - 5:04pm.

Welcome!

Routines will fall into place in time and help put order to your days. Just like it took you time to adjust to your paying job,same holds true for being home. Some days will be smooth and others difficult but so were your days out at work.
Does your 3 year old attend preschool?

That could be a good time to spend with just the younger one. Look into the local library. They have kids' storytimes and a good place to find other at home parents there with kids to offer support or to just talk.

Good luck.

Heidi

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Lady Geek at home's picture

Great Spreadsheet - time management tool

Submitted by Lady Geek at home (not verified) on Wed, 05/21/2008 - 9:10am.

I have never been known for my housekeeping skills, and would rather repair a computer than clean a frig. After becoming unemployed over a year ago, I noticed that the spreadsheet I used to assist in keeping on track was also a useful tool at home. I am providing a link to the original file I used as a template:

http://www.yoshimi.me.uk/iamflying.xls

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Shaun's picture

Welcome!

Submitted by Shaun on Mon, 04/10/2006 - 6:48pm.

I fell into being an at-home mom, and as far as I can tell I fall into most everything I do in life, which now that I think of it is a little weird given that I am a driven control freak!

It helps to know your "bare minimums." For me, it's dinner. If I can't make a decent dinner every night, I feel like I've screwed up. I do like to make my bed too. Maybe you don't care aboutt those but you have to have your laundry folded properly, or your floor vaccuumed, or the dining table cleared off most of the time.

When you know your "bottom line" I think it makes life easier.

Also, for me, the earlier I get started in the morning, the better. I also insist on weekdays that everyone get dressed before breakfast. Then if we want to do something, we can.

BTW, I've been home for about 7 years (though I do work part-time from home). I have an almost 7-year-old and an almost 3-year-old, and we just recently added homeschooling into the mix—another "fall into" kind of thing.

Shaun
www.homeschoolblogger.com/shaunms

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Lynn's picture

boy are you in the right place

Submitted by Lynn on Mon, 04/10/2006 - 7:44pm.

This is the place where we figure out what exactly it is we do all day. Smiling Welcome Smiling

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

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HeatherA's picture

Thank you all for the welcome!

Submitted by HeatherA on Tue, 04/11/2006 - 12:36pm.

Thanks for all the kind words, I can't wait to get my feet wet in this website! I'm so excited about this new chapter of my life, and want to be the best I can be, just like at outside work, you want to excell, at home I want to also, but feel like a ding-a-ling.
Can't wait to get to know you all more!

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Kerri's picture

Don't worry...

Submitted by Kerri on Wed, 04/12/2006 - 11:01am.

the enthusiasm wears off after a while, as with any job!! Laughing out loud Well ok, to be fair, some days are better than others, and that is definitely like any other job. You'll probably second-guess yourself, just like you do with your kids but there will also be days that you're just so glad not to have to do what anyone else tells you to do - being able to go to a garden centre with my mother on a sunny Spring morning could be one of my favourites!! The flexibility of it, and not having to really answer to anyone else is great. Quite why women want to leave their autonomous homes and go into a workplace and be told what to do I'm not sure I understand really - funny idea of women's lib to my mind.

I'm starting to ramble (I do that a lot!)...

nice to have you join us anyway Heather. Hope you find this place as wonderful to hang out as we all do.

Kerri.

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Jilsyt's picture

YAY! Another member!!!

Submitted by Jilsyt on Fri, 04/14/2006 - 12:54pm.

Hi! Welcome! I didn't hit on this site til I had #2 and had been home about 2 years, but it has helped me tremendously. I used to wonder why I bothered staying home but a few things helped me: #1--read The New Homemaker's manifesto--even my DH was impressed, #2--find a good schedule...I posted one a few months back in Excel format...I'll go see if I can find the link, #3--read and enjoy old (and new) homemaking/home economics books (don't beat yourself up for what you don't do, just gleen info). A good new one is Home Comforts, the Art & Science of Homemaking. #4--Come see us often...this is one awesome bunch of women here!!!!

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Jilsyt's picture

Here we go...

Submitted by Jilsyt on Fri, 04/14/2006 - 1:06pm.

http://www.thenewhomemaker.com/files/Chore%20list.xls

That chore list.

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Arugula's picture

Schedule!

Submitted by Arugula on Wed, 04/19/2006 - 6:56am.

I also think a schedule is important. For us, it is vital that the boys go to bed at the same time every day. A set sleeping schedule does wonders for ds1's temperment (he just turned 4). It iliminates a lot of tantrums, stubborness and bad moods. So I worked backwards from there. For instance, his bedtime is best at 7:30, as in I want him to be going to sleep at 7:30, so our storytime needs to start at 7:00 which means our bathtime needs to be at 6:30 which means our cleanup time needs to start at 6:00 which means we need to eat dinner no later than 5:30 which means I need to have a dinner plan no later than 4:00 (so I can bake a lasagna or something for instance. I don't have to start cooking at 4, just have a plan). And hey, that is half the day! lol

It's also important to feed them regularly. I know that sounds ridiculous (how could you forget to feed your kids?!) but scheduled feeding (for the older one anyway especially if the younger one is still nursing) is important so they don't end up with a blood sugar drop and then have negative behavior. My boys get too distracted playing to realize they are hungry. Also, if you aren't good with scheduling, you may find you are giving them a lot of snacks instead of a meal. This works just fine as long as you can always give them snacks (a small bowl of crackers and cheese is not sustaining if you end up running errands for 3 hours) and you are careful to give them a variety of food groups. When we had one car for our whole family the kids and I were snackers. We'd have cheese, then some popcorn, then a piece of fruit, etc. Stuff like that. And it worked for us. But it doesn't now.

Initially, my house was a chronic mess. I've been home for 5 years now and only in the last 6 months is my house cleaned every day. Thing is, after a while it was depressing to wake up to a mess. I live in a small apt, the bathroom is at the end of the hall and if I walk from the living room to the bedroom we use as a den, I walk right past the door. So now I put the kids in the bath and clean up. Sometimes they want to help me, sometimes they don't. I encourage the help but they aren't so old yet that I demand it. Anyway, I have the toys highly organized (matchbox cars in a basket, building blocks in a bucket, play kitchen food in a tub, etc it is only difficult the first time you have to separate everything out. But they are more likely to play with their toys and not with things they aren't supposed to if they can FIND their toys. And it is actually a lot easier to clean, it doesn't take long for muscle memory to set in and my hands can fly through a pile of toys very quickly). I clean the boys' room, the living room and the den, then vacuum quickly. If there is time, I do the kitchen, if not I do it after they are in bed. There is nothing more annoying than having to wash dishes before you can make breakfast.

The deeper cleaning stuff I do as I can, like today I want to try to move the couch and clean under it. I don't fly lady because I just don't care that much about dusting and flipping mattresses and I'd rather have a half hour of intense work than be picking up the house in little fits all day. Personal preference, that's all, as I know many people who swear by the fly lady.

Oh and when you get up in the morning, make sure to brush your teeth and hair and get dressed! It's amazing a) how much more awake I feel when I am dressed and ready to go and b) how much less victimized by the children I feel when I am "put together". I generally get up, get them breakfast, then go to the bathroom to get ready for the day while they eat. Before I made that part of our schedule, at bedtime I would often find myself in the same clothes I had slept in the night before. Visions of the sereotypical "housewife" would flash through my head-eating ice cream, wearing sweats and watching soaps. *Shudder*. I will NEVER be that woman.

Like others said, a lot of this will fall in place for you, specific to your family. It took me 4 years to get here but honestly, I would consider myself a lazy person if I don't have a deadline.

There is an incredible sense of pride for me in dh coming home to a clean, organized house. He always tells me I am not his maid or servant and that it is okay if things don't always get done. But he works 10 hour days (at least). He is working hard for our family and I'd like to think of this as my job, my way of contributing, and I always take pride in my work.

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jennye's picture

My home is ordered chaos.

Submitted by jennye on Wed, 04/19/2006 - 9:18am.

My home is ordered chaos. LOL! I would LOVE a bedtime for my boys (who are 3 1/2 and 5 months). I have one for the girls who are in school. At least on school nights, I can get them in bed before 9. But my husband is the main culprit on me not having a set bedtime with our oldest son. DH doesn't get home sometimes from the fields til well after dark, and he wants his time with DS3. I try for 10, but it's usually later. That will change in the fall when he starts preschool. I'm worried about how DH is going to take to that rather than DS. LOL! And of course on a farm, there are no such things as weekends.

Since the baby, I've had a hard time keeping up with the house (ok, it's been longer than that. LOL!). But I've found that the flylady system helps most of the time. Go to www.flylady.net to see what that's all about.

Ok, baby is now asleep (nursing while typing helps). I have to do a few things before he wakes up again (which will be too soon for all I need to get done. He hates the crib, but I can't do all I need to do with 21 pounds of him in the sling. So naps aren't lasting long. Neither is night time sleeping. Ugh. I DO need a bit more structure than my husband allows).

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