TAKING CHARGE 13 Feb 06

basically I have a number of things on my plate at the moment and I'm losing focus and feeling badly muddled by it. I need to sort a few things out before I can comeup with some kind of challenge or theme for the week - unless anyone has a suggestion. Does anybody else feel like they need to get a tighter grip on what they're supposed to be doing?? For me that will involve list-writing, as always. It's just how I arrange my thoughts really, and then the list keeps me on track with whatever I've decided to deal with.

this morning I've come to the conclusion that I need to tighten up on the basic housework so that I can fit in the work of the new business without losing sight of my primary role - full-time wife and mother. The housework is fairly unimportant in the scheme of things, but the basics need doing, so the more I can get control of them the less time I need to spend on them. Does that make sense?? It's about not spending large chunks of my increasingly valuable time on things that don't matter to me. It really goes back to routines I suppose, and I'm trying to expand on what I'm learning about myself by implementing routines for the more essential housework jobs.

I have a couple or three shopping trips this week to squeeze in. One will be for clothes (smarter pieces suited to the occasional external business meeting) and groceries, and another is to pick up a few items at a particular shop in the opposite direction. I save them up and wait for bargains on things I want, and they have one of those fat separating gravy jugs this week so I'm partly going for that. I'll also get rice and other bits I don't get elsewhere though.

It's only Monday morning and already I'm running out of time this week! Now you know why I need to spend a little of my precious time this morning to save time on housework!

Kerri.

I hope you've got miracles to report tomorrow to make up for this disgusting lapse, especially those of you for whom it is already evening.

I've done my morning pages, meal planning, vacuuming, washing and drying (oops - still in the dryer!), shopping, broken the computer (whilst vacuuming), fixed the computer, blitzed DS' room, made and eaten dinner, changed lightbulbs, started a scrapbook, made half of tomorrow's dinner... If you haven't had a busy day, well shame on you for not even taking time to post! And tomorrow I have to drive up to DH's ex-office, make sure it's been terminated, sort out all paperwork, empty it all out. Some Valentine's Day!!

this is the week for me to be clear on my goals. Even if I'm not too clear about where I'm guiding everyone else this week!!

I know... I've got one of Hope's favourite standbys - clean out your bathroom cabinets! It must be time already. What crap can you throw away or give away, or have fun using up?!?! And if you've got nothing at all to throw away then your challenge is to clean round the crevices of your bathroom window with a damp q-tip!! Ok, so I don't really believe that anybody has such perfect bathroom cabinets.

you have your mission ladies - go blitz those bathrooms!!!

Kerri.

I'm just still sort of stuck on the making exercise a routine thing. I feel like I've made really good progress there, and I'm loath to mess it up by taking on anything else right this minute. The control I have is so new I worry that it's fragile.

I have been reading my food lables very carefully, although I don't write them down as Lynn suggested. I would, but then I'd be spending hours each day I'm afraid, and I don't eat that much processed food!

So, the taking control report card on Jo?

making routines: A

tracking what I eat: B-

financial control: B (still have one thing on the SLUG list from that one-and it's a biggie)

And Kerri, I just did my bathroom cupboards, and there is NO WAY I am q-tipping my windows.

I will be doing a little bit every day this week to prepare for our trip, so I'm not up until 2am the night before we leave. That's what I'm going to take control of this week. Well, that and continuing to make exercise "just-what-I-do" rather than something special.

-Jo

as long as you're doing something positive - I'm in awe of you on exercise anyway. And if you're going away soon you obviously need to focus on getting ready for that.

not sure my own finances are doing great either. Well they aren't bad but I've got a steep learning curve ahead of me on dealing with business taxes and the like. Good job one of my best friends is now our accountant, so I can trust her to give me the advice I need when I need it.

"progress not pefection" is the mantra of the week then. I kept reminding DS of this as we worked our way through his room earlier. He still needs some storage pieces, but we've narrowed down what still needs homes and those can be acquired easily enough. I just wish someone would sit down with me and tell me which piece to clear up next and how to arrange it in piles. It all looked so easy when I was helping him!

Kerri.

I spent a lot of the day helping DS with his horrible Maths homework. Would you believe his maths tutor set him 12 past exam papers to do in one week??? The papers he did today contained a lot of stuff he hasn't been taught yet so we spent ages looking things up and trying to work out how to do it. In all we spent over five hours on 3 papers. I hate Maths, so this is my idea of a Day From Hell.

We felt like some fresh air, so took the dog for a long walk this evening, calling at the library to pick up some books we had ordered, and then at the corner shop for a few things.

I spent a couple of hours this evening reorganising DS' room, and all our books.

Will that do, mein Fuhrer?

For some reason, I couldn't get TNH to come up all morning.
I, da da da dum.....cleaned DD10.95's bedroom from top to bottom...including the closet interior and under the bed!

This evening, I had a dinner meeting and then I needed to pick-up a valentine-or-two. I feel like I quite made up for a lazy week-end.

Here's a funny for you (and if you don't care for smutty, personal info, please stop reading here...)
Saturday afternoon DH and I found ourselves with several hours alone in the house. When he remarked that he probably should "do something productive," I left the room, took a red magic marker, wrote "PRODUCTIVE" on a piece of paper, taped it to my shirt and walked back into the livingroom...
Yep, that worked!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

which proves what a pathetic Valentine's Day it has been for me. The reddest thing I've seen today is the rash all over DD which might be measles (anybody know of any other rash that looks similar??). I had both kids off school but this rash appeared during the day. DD started with coughing and a bit of a temperature (which fits the measles so far, but she was vaccinated, so I'm keeping my mind open). DS started complaining of a stomachache and he was fairly bloated. If this continues there's no way I can get to clear out DH's ex-office, or go into school myself on Thursday. And half term is next week, so I could get two weeks of them. Everyone else seems to have had half term this term except us.

so that's my griping out of the way for now. Some of it anyway. My chat with DH today mostly revolved around work and his father's health problems, so that was romantic.

on the upside, I've had a jug of water on my desk today and I'm about halfway down it now - it's a litre jug I think, so I'm quite happy with that. Makes me take my medication too! The main reason though was to stop me eating everything in sight. I've been worse than normal lately.

I've got some paperwork out of the way today, done a bit more clearing in the office. I looked at my one measly shelf in the bathroom and realised it was pretty much down to the basics. Then I caught sight of the air freshener the previous owners had left which isn't especially pleasing. So that's gone. I'll have another look tomorrow but I have at least managed to chuck something pointless out of my bathroom. I seem to have acquired a couple of unused paint palettes on my desk though, so apparently not all of my clearing up was successful. I think they came out of a drawer I was clearing.

OH... and I finally emptied my suitcase!! My parents brought over their old dvd player for us (they got a proper hard drive recorder with their new television) and when they left after installing it (Dad needed to make the hole in the back of the unit bigger - I coulda plugged it in myself!) there magically appeared an empty box on the living room floor. And LO!... it was to be for CNY decorations that my SIL bought us in China! Now all I gotta do is find a home for the box, get the suitcase back into the garage and I'll have it cracked. Except that then I won't have anywhere to store the enormous pile of ironing I've been collecting in my bedroom!

another couple of glasses and this jug of water is gonna be history!! Hope will be so proud!

Kerri.

me too... forgot to say! I assumed it was just temporary downtime, whether deliberate or otherwise, and here we are so it was definitely temporary!

Kerri.

I haven't posted but here's what I desperately need to do this week. I teach childbirth classes on the weekends and somehow my "stuff" has become completely disorganized (hmmmmm how'd that happen?) The baby is sick so my highest priority is tending to her, but the organizing will be done by the end of the week by golly!

The db burped.

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

but you can probably chip away at the organising when you get a few minutes here and there. Sometimes that's actually more efficient than large blocks of time because you are more focussed when you're doing the work. That's what I often find anyway. I'm also working round sickies today, but mine are older and need far less attention.

DD still looks like she's got measles so I'm assuming it is, and keeping them both out of school. She's covered in rash and quite itchy at times but otherwise not feeling very sick. Her appetite's a bit down. I wouldn' expect it to be a very strong dose since she's already been vaccinated against it. I also had it very mild as a kid but I was born at a time when lots of people were opting out of the MMR vaccine because of problems with the measles part - my parents included. I had the other parts though. I've just double-checked rubella and the rash is similar... now I'm wondering whether I should get a doctor in just to confirm which it is. What fun!

It's well after 10am and so far I've done nothing constructive except drink my tea. I sat and watched half of Monsters Inc with the kids and forgot breakfast. Haven't done my morning pages. I shall have the kids doing some work today though, especially since they aren't really THAT kind of sick! Must be time to get started on the Chinese programme early I guess.

it's a laundry day for me so I'd better shove something in the machine. I'll be back later to let you know if I've achieved anything at all. With a start like this the whole day often ends up down the toilet though.

Kerri.

...as well, Kerri. I also still need to hand wash the stemware from dinner last night since they can't go in the dishwasher

The other thing on my TODO list is to read/edit a paper one of my neighbors wrote for a college class. He is working on his first degree after a long time out of school...(sounds vaguely familiar ) but is really struggling with a writing class. One thing for which I am more-than-grateful is that when I went back to college, I already had reasonably well developed verbal skills...I like words and words like me!

I ate too much yesterday, though I do still have a couple of my weekly "flex" points left...It's "fat-and-cranky week" for me also so I'm dreading getting on the scales in the morning because If it's not down...I'll be tempted to eat everything in sight. Maybe I'll try your water bottle idea Kerri...keep on at hand and take a gulp when my resistance to the munchies gets low!

Moonpi and Kerri, hang in there with the sick kiddos...I'll send healthy thoughts to all of you!

Have a great day, all

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

I'm looking for inspiration on how to organise my office perfectly (instead of just getting on and doing it) and I found this site:

www.ehow.com

it has huge long lists (and you know how I love lists!) of things to tell you how to do everything, including organising your art supplies and finding the bottom of your purse!! I'm in the 'homemaking' section at the moment and it's huge. There's gotta be something useful in here somewhere!

Kerri.

There's a lot of neat stuff on that site Kerri, thanks!
Lenora, thanks for the nice thoughts. I feel like a paranoid mother - - DD has developed a fine red rash over her trunk and hands, and feet but her fever has come down today. I'll just keep watching and calling the pediatric nurse each morning.
During naptimes I am doing "quiet work" - - making a little headway on class materials. I will eventually need to get to the office supply store. I'm also working on a Master list for food shopping and reading up on breadmaking. Sometimes it feels nice to just sit and daydream about perfect bread, perfect pantry, perfect laundry room....... ahhhhhhh time for tea

well, there are quite a few similarities at the moment. I also have a growing list of shopping for a stationery shop, which will have to wait, along with everything else, until the kids are better. Well, one is still healthy but since he could be infectious he's stuck at home too.

if you need to get a bit more paranoid about your DD's rash you could check out www.webmd.com - they have quite good photos of rashes as well as a symptom checker. I've found it to be a good basic site for most medical issues.

I'm ploughing through the office stuff. I've emptied out a large plastic tub of odds and ends (it was a dumping ground before we moved in) and started putting art supplies in it. At least I've found a home for the large pads of paper I've had floating around, as well as the two paint palettes that were on my desk the last two days. I know there's more elsewhere too. It'll probably go back in the bottom of my wardrobe where it came from when I'm done filling it.

Kerri.

Where did the beginning of the week go? Sounds like there's too many sick babes around at the moment. Mine's got some snot, but nothing too serious.

I've been thinking about my evenings, and I think I've probably got one hour each on 3 evenings a week. I really need to devote most of that to the dreaded PhD. One evening will soon have to go to my occasional job that I think is about to resurface. I just wish I could find a bit of time to devote to doing something pleasant and constructive. Hmmmmmmm.

I must run and do some printing for the ol' thesis now. I have one Taking Charge task for myself this week. It's my old favourite. THE DESK! When will it learn to keep itself tidy?

Zillah

I am presently at college, just finished my first test in Humanities. I have been so busy with studying and writing that my house has taken a beating. Just when I think I am gonna catch a break something else sneaks up on me. I have also been EXTREMELY tired lately. Not just a little. So much so that it is concerning me.

So basically, I am reading along and pluggin' along but don't have much to offer.

Jana

or anemia to you lot! It's one thing to get checked, and probably thyroid too since it often seems to cause problems. If you've been that exhausted for a long time you need to get it checked, if only for your peace of mind. If not tomorrow then make an appointment today for next week. Don't let it slide or wait till you have time. MAKE TIME Jana... please...

well it's (almost certainly) not measles but we don't know what it is - isn't that comforting! Probably some kind of viral thing he reckons. I'm going to keep DS off school as well since it's only a day and a half before they break up for half term. No point putting the other kids at risk for that period of time, since we don't yet know if DD is infectious.

I read some Sarah ban Breathnach yesterday about 'spiritual housekeeping' and it got me all fired up to purge everything. But that was at about 11pm and I had a headache so I had to force myself to ignore the crap and get to sleep. I'm going to read it again this afternoon and see if it will get me motivated. I realised that not one space of my home is currently clutter-free, which is very stressful really. Even my bed had things on it the last few nights, so I cleared those off last night and slept right through. I don't have a singe space where I can rest and be fully relaxed because there is mess everywhere. Anybody else in this position??

I'm with Zillah - who stole the first half of the week!?! I can't believe we're halfway through Thursday already (and my brain thinks it's Friday, which doesn't help). Has anybody managed to get into their bathroom and clear something out?? Has anybody done a full purge?? Good for you if you have. If you haven't look around the next time you go in there to pee, see what you can get rid of or put into the same bottle, or use up tonight with a warm bath and pampering.

I had an idea about getting DS more involved with his Chinese last night, which is to see if I can find any colouring for the story of the Chinese zodiac or any other legends, see if I can find the legends out in English too, then have DD read the Chinese to him. He even grizzled when I put on a CD of Chinese fable-type things yesterday, so we've got our work cut out for us.

see what you can do to feel a sense of achievement today - then report back to help the rest of us get motivated.

Kerri.

don't think it is but thanks for the suggestion. We'd never heard of it before, which is why I remember the discussion so particularly. I've just sent the historic note to my mother since the site we were on didn't tell us why it was so named.

I've sat on the computer all afternoon doing nothing, so there. I was looking for colouring pages and Chinese legends to match with them to get DS a bit more into learning his Chinese. I know it's compulsory, DH knows and even DD has it figured, but DS hasn't realised it yet! And I may spend the rest of the night on it, unless I remember to watch that programme at 9pm that I want to watch. Right now I want to get my horrible squabbling children to bed.

thanks Sparrow...

Kerri.

I think that's what it gets called here.

for not doing any real work!!!

I've got two priorities for today: working with the kids, since they spent most of yesterday watching television (I like Becky's idea, but DS would really be on the losing end and DD loves to crow!) and working towards getting ourselves a business bank account. That one is slightly complicated by the fact that DH isn't here, but I'll put him on afterwards.

I've got a load of washing on too. I've cleared my desk off, by the simple expedient of picking up the mess and putting it back on the mostly cleared bed. I've not been getting any work done with that heap of crap here so I shall pick through it gradually but not on my desk. Continuing to get things out of this room or organised within this room is a secondary priority today, because I don't want DH to call buggin me again about the bank! It's bad enough I haven't seen him since I left Singapore on the 3rd and that I have no idea when he's coming home, but for our only communication to be about this business as well really bites!

I have my agenda, so I'm going to print out some of the things I found yesterday for Chinese (legends in English and some colouring to go with them - more culture than language to get DS softened up a bit first!) and also some maths stuff I found (in a heap in my bedroom!). I'll gve them enough to keep them going most of the day and they can figure out how they want to arrange their time within the given parameters. After that I don't stop until I can go no further with opening the bank account. I shall have to go into town next week with the kids in tow too (it'll be half term) to actually finish the opening of the account, which is irritating. Unless it's later in the week and I can leave them with my parents for a bit... hmmm...

what are you sitting here reading this crap for?? Go and get your butt into gear!!!

Kerri.

I have taken control of my dental hygeine. I always brush my teeth, good to know huh!, but the last time they said I had gingervitis and my gums do bleed. I also have a horrible tarter problem on a retainer behind my bottom teeth. SO....for 3 weeks I have flossed every other day and used a rinse, for oral health, every night. I got to thinking one day....they have given me a warning.....I like my teeth, it is just one or two extra steps...just do it! So I have and not it is part of the routine!

Just one small step of taking cahrge of something.

Jana

and you've kept it quiet till you could be more sure of it being a habit. Good for you. Do you feel better for it?? Hopefully your new habit will survive any upheavals - those are always when I find a new habit gets severely tested, because one habit is linked to another to another to another, and once one thing changes it all falls apart! That could just be me, but I suspect it's a test to most, even if others do better at passing than me!

Maybe I should try some of that too... I got a warning about a couple of my teeth (same warning I got last time, only this time there's less of each tooth left!). And I still haven't taken myself off to find a dentist. To be honest I hardly even know where to start. When you're in a new town how does one know which dentist is good and which is deadly (I've had the deadly kind, though he'd tell you he was acquitted!). It's harder than picking a doctor somehow.

My daughter is currently freaking out because I tipped cooking oil in her bath. She was complaining that her skin was getting dry as her rash eased up, so with no baby oil in the house I went for plan B and tipped in olive oil. She now thinks she smells of pasta!

Kerri.

we seem to be rapidly losing momentum, and we're not even through February yet.

This isn't a challenge, but I think that maybe next week we could share ideas for what motivates us, and get specific. Even if it only motivates you for a little while... what are the things that get you moving faster and more efficiently on the things you should be doing??

Did anyone manage to clear out their bathroom junk at all??

I'm not sure I can be a bully all year for you lot if you're gonna wuss out on me like this. The bullying has to acieve something if it's going to continue, and I feel like you're all drifting away to your little holes, letting life take over as usual, instead of being the driving force in your own life.

I have plenty of things threatening at the moment to tae over my entire way of life, turn everything on its head, and you know what, deep down I'm scared that I'm not going to be up to the job. That the myth of me being an intelligent woman who chose not to do paid work is going to be blown sky-high because actually I'm not capable of sticking to a job any more. That's not the conscious me talking, so it's not something I can easily get a grip on. People see the law degree and assume I must be smart. I haven't really been in the kind of position yet where I've had to really prove myself, nothing I couldn't talk my way out of. I can put on areally good show. But you know what... I'm really fighting an uphill battle to get myself organised ready for when the business gets started, and I can't seem to do it. I'm secretly terrified that my innate laziness is going to overcome everything and be a major obstacle to me ever finishing everything. What if I'm not my husband's helpmeet after all, but just a burden.

Oh hell...

right, so I have to prove myself to... well... me really. Everybody else has faith in me, and superficially I know I should be able to do pretty much anything I need to do. But somehow or another this fear that I won't finish anything is getting in the way.

anybody else got any deep-down secret fears that they want to get out in the open?? Well it's not that open, not like telling 'real' friends! This is probably a great time to be honest about whatever's holding you back, so that maybe we can all move on and really take control of our daily lives. The big stuff isn't up to us, but the little stuff is, and the more confusion there is around you the more you need to be in control of the little stuff, so you feel like you have control over something.

Sunday morning babble over. Is everybody ready to make a commitment to this next week??

Kerri.

I did clean out my makeup bag. Everything else is pretty straight.

Jana

even if not much needed doing I'm sure something always does.

I chucked out some junk food today that wasn't going to get eaten - found myself some space for the leftover Christmas goodies (nuts and pfefferkuechen mostly) which cleared a box off my dining room floor. I also packed away those last irritating Christmas decorations - they were fragile so I dithered over how best to protect them. I finally got so pi$$ed off at seeing them that I no longer care if they break before next Christmas!. I also filled up the bird feeders (I can hear them twittering happily outside now), cleaned some surfaces, put some things away, rearranged...

my motivation was Sarah Ban Breathnach as usual. Sometimes her stuff gets through my lethargy and makes me want to make the place nicer, even though DH isn't around still and it hardly feels like it's worth the effort. The kids can create mess quicker than I clear anything, and I hardly care at the moment. Anyway, I cared for a short while and got some stuff done that had been eating away at me.

I'm thinking of buying Home Comforts for the same reason - motivation. Is it motivating or depressing?? I know Honey has a copy, but what about anyone else?? What do you think of it??

I know about music being motivating, but I forget to put it on most of the time. Anybody got any great cleaning/motivating music??

Kerri.

Tomorrow is a holiday (Presidents' Day), Kerri. I imagine people might be away or getting together with family or something.

....wish it were.

I have had the music on and have been cleaning my kitchen since about 8 am. It is almost 11 now and I have gone through a stack of repices that have been ripped out of magazines or copied off the net. I have a recipe corner near the pantry and it has been drving me nuts with the clutter! Now it is clean and my new Alton Brown cookbook is nicely displayed on an easel with some other cookbooks in a basket. Looks nice and all the clutter is gone. Some got copied into a recipe book others got recycled. I have a box of stuff I am getting rid of at the boys school rummage sale in April. Really, I don't need 1/2 the cr@p I have....really! My kids don't deserve this clutter and neither do DH and I!

Fridge is clean. Counters are clean and clear. DW emptied and refilled.

We are heading to my parents for grilled hamburgers (it is 45 degrees out but who cares!) and Nascar. I have a stack of things to take with me to mend. Will be another relaxing day. Aunt Flo showed up! yeah....

Jana

Wow Jana! You have made a ton of progress! Nothing like an uncluttered kitchen to inspire one to cook.

my kitchen always looks awful when DH is away, and he hasn't been home in a long time, so it has been looking like a bomb site recently. No kidding - I had dirty pans two days old in there and hardly dared to set foot in there. And this is in spite of a dishwasher. I've even got horrible eczema on the back of my hand so I have a great excuse to use the machine for that stuff, but I wasn't even throwing the contents out! How gross is that!?! Anyway, it's better now, and I put away some clutter too. I have some new tupperware that needs washing before I can put it in cupboards and it has been sitting on the side for weeks - maybe I should just throw it in the dishwasher tomorrow. After all, if it can't survive a dishwasher it has NO PLACE in my kitchen!

so I bow to your enthusiastic efforts Jana - does it feel better in there?? I'll bet it does.

I hadn't realised about the holiday - usually someone mentions it gleefully much earlier in the week. Ok, if you aren't here tomorrow I'll let you off, but no slacking and holiday mood on Tuesday, or else!!

Kerri.