TAKING CHARGE 23 Jan 06

First off, if you haven't read Jana's last post on the previous thread, do please go back and read it. Firstly Jana's doing really well, and secondly she threw in an extra challenge:

remove one pile of clutter, small or large, that you've probably been walking past for weeks. Her post will give you a good incentive to just do that. No better time than the present - that's MONDAY, not the whole week, just today.

Routines. Is anybody out there groaning that this is yet another thing they have to do, another chore to remember?? I hope I'm preaching to the converted - I suspect I am. But do we actually practice what we preach?? How many routines or habits do you have that you can get through on autopilot?? Maybe your morning routine, like brushing your teeth and hair, putting on any make-up in a particular order. Or your little bedtime ritual of a cup of something soothing and a little read. Those are routines too. They ground us in the day, provide a structure which makes it easier for us to function.

I've had plenty of chats with Honey about her lack of structure and routine when DS started homeschooling. For many of us we have some form of externally imposed structure, whether it's DH's work, the kids going to school, or regular activities we do ourselves. I know Honey is still struggling with that, and I apologise for making an example of you but I do think that your own lack of basic structure causes a lot of your difficulties, and I think you believe that too, even if you haven't yet managed to implement something. For most of us that externally imposed structure does help us a bit - we fit other things into existing gaps and hey presto.

We should start by having the basic routines in place, like sleeping and eating. If you sleep somewhere between 10pm and midnight and get up after 7 or 8hrs (excluding anyone on shifts!) then you probably have a reasonably regular sleeping pattern. Good for you. Do you have three regular meals?? Hands up all who skip breakfast?? Well I used to, but when we moved into this house last September I forced myself to eat it so that my kids wouldn't have an excuse not to. Lunch is my biggest downfall - at best I usually grab something on the run. Often I skip it. Do you sit down regularly with other household members for dinner in the dining room??

Obviously if you have those in place you can start to get more sophisticated with the routines that you can carry out whilst on autopilot. The point of all this is so you don't waste time or energy thinking about what or whenyou should be doing the basic household management jobs. They get done almost automatically. Maybe you mow your lawns regularly on Saturday afternoons through the summer. Other things need to be that routine too, so that things are maintained at a manageable level. Nobody enjoys tackling a whole heap of washing, but if you know you need to do a load every day it just gets done. Habit.

I've preached long enough. I need to get some meal planning done for when we come back, as well as tonight's meal which will try to use up what's in the fridge. I know tomorrow's and Wednesday's but somehow tonight remained stubbornly blank. If you haven't tried meal planning give it a go. I'll tell you another time how I do mine, and I'm pretty sure Lenora plans, and maybe Jana too now. You have to find a way that works for you. I tried last year and didn't make it past CNY, but this time, knowing how much it has helped I'm determined to get over that particular hump and learn my lesson. You can't always expect to import another person's system and then be surprised when it doesn't work for you and your family. Be honest with yourself and know how your own family functions. If you know your family just CAN'T do without going to a restaurant on a Saturday then make space for it. Or if they love pizza stick it in the plan once a week.

No really, I'm done now!

Kerri.

Monday morning is bad enough without being made an example of, thank you Kerri

I did an anti procrastination task today and took my knee to the doctor. I've had terrible pain when kneeling for the past 7 months. I have to have an xray on Wednesday. I'm thinking whatever the cause is, losing the excess 60lbs or so has to help, right? (though not before Wednesday). Expect diet plans soon, then. I'll work up to it.

Back in the Taking Charge saddle again after a 3 day break for trips to PhD supervisor, birtday party, various other romps around the country!

After reading your challenge about routines Kerri, I've thought about it and realised I am an absolute slave to routines. I think because with DD being not of school age yet, and me having only two set things a week (Tuesday morning and Friday for my PhD), as well as DH being on a fairly flexible schedule, if I didn't have a fairly iron routine the weeks would just go awry. Anyway, here's how some of mine go -

Monday is housework day. Clean bathrooms first, 'cos it's worst. Then hoover the house from back to front, tidying as I go. Then it's BISCUIT time. Got to plan treats into the routine! Couple of other bits and pieces before lunch. DD sleeps, then we do the main supermarket shop.

Tuesday DH has DD for a couple of hours in the morning. In the afternoon we do something from swimming/going to the market/going to play with a little friend.

Wednesday is a big toddler group in the morning, then whatever of swimming/market/play didn't happen the afternoon before.

Thursday is visiting or activity day.

Friday DMIL has DD and I do my PhD

Do you think you can take these things too far? Then I have first thing in the morning, during DD's nap time and last thing at night routines. Am I a control freak? Hmmm. Lets not think too hard about that last question

I like Jana's pile challege! I'm going to do the surface of my desk. It's not that bad, it's just been sitting like that for about 6 weeks now. IT'S TIME . . .

Zillah

That poor knee... I'm so glad you finally got round to it because nagging you wasn't helping! Fingers crossed it isn't anything that can't be fixed. Whether by diet or rest it could probably do with having a load off for a while. Just remember when you draw up your diet plans to keep it manageable and learn by past mistakes.

Zillah, if those routines all work for you then you go girl! That much might be too much for me, but I think that without DD being in school and you and DH having 'ordinary' jobs with 'normal' working hours it does make sense to compensate. How much would you say your Quaker background helps you with things like this?? Honey and I were both saying that the sense of organisation and peace we both understand to be part of the Quakers is very attractive - is there anything useful you could share with us??

I've had a successful morning shopping, but inevitably I have now brought loads of extra items into my house. Some will go to Singapore (mostly Haribo sweets which my SIL and I love!), some will help me get more organised (files), some will save me bringing stupid things back from Singapore (glue and lined paper!) and some... Well I'm sure it was all utterly useful! Now all I have to do is make it blend in. Must be a good girl and give the bag DH is currently using to charity because I bought a new one. Ours lost its shoulder strap, so although it's a perfectly good bag we really won't use it. Well ok, I might wait a little while and see if it acquires a use. Perhaps storage in the garage.

need a cuppa...!

Kerri.

Nasi Goreng mix? Pretty please

EGADS! A better bedtime routine (for me) is gonna have to become the priority around here...If I can't do it on my own, Kerri will MAKE me!

Other than working on my structured bedtime routine, I'm focusing on organizing my pantry/food sotrage area this week. I need to finish my "inventory," and stock-up on a couple of basics on which I've noticed I'm running low.

Monday is "sweep-and-swipe" day around here, so dusting, vacuuming (DDS) and mopping (me) are on the TO DO list. I need to pick up DD10.75's clarinet from the music shop (needed cork) and while I'm in that area I'm going to hit a grocery store that I don't usualy frequent because they have a number of sale items that are on my list this week.

Zillah, I think your weekly routine sounds perfectly reasonable...even wonderful. Your DD is obviously thriving (LOVED the pictures!) and if it "works" for you and your family...then it's just right!

I need to get up and get going, myself!

Happy Monday, to all!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

gone! No one will trip over them anymore!

Jana

That will be my routine. I do just dandy once I get going, but it's the getting there that I struggle with. I will try, really hard, to get on that stupid treadmill everyday. It doesn't really matter what I do once I get going. I will just concentrate on the getting going aspect.

the only thing that has disappeared round here is a packet of Liquorice Allsorts, and I'm gonna have to finish the last two pieces a little later to make sure I can clear the bag into the bin.

please tell me I'm not supposed to be setting an example here!!

if you have read the 'What's for Dinner' thread recently you'll find that I got a powerful lesson about routines this evening. I never got that meal planned for tonight so instead of eating out of my fridge we had stuff from the freezer and a can of beans. Ok, lesson learned. Need to do that early February meal planning tonight!

Kerri.

of the North American contingent?? Where are you all?? I'm sure there were more of us than this last week and the week before. Don't tell me so many have given up already... surely you don't want to walk blindly through your own life waiting for stuff to happen??

I think I just figured out where my daughter gets her nasty streak from...

Kerri.

I also exercised. I exercised for 20 min and then lay on the floor and watched the rest of the DVD!

It is a start. I am really feeling down about my body. Of course I would like to lose some pounds. I could lose 10 and feel better but really I am over my target weight by about 25. But what is really getting me is the flab. I caught a glimpse of my thighs this weekend and I almost started to cry. While I have never been long and lean I haven't had some many dimples and ripples either. It was very depressing and I have stayed in pants since then.

I am gonna try this pilates thing and walking.

Jana

Housework day is over! Yipeeee

Jana, I did pilates for several years (PhD and move to Oxford got in the way) and LOVED it. It's like taking charge of your body, it's slow and managable and I got real satisfaction from the progress I made.

Kerri, I've been thinking all afternoon about your question about Quaker homemaking, and I think that there are ways that being a Quaker informs the way I do things and, probably more importantly, the way I think about things.

Firstly there's the Quaker Testinomy of simplicity (Testimonies are ways in which Quakers try to put our faith into practice in our lives). For example, we don't have a television which we find gives us more time and space in our lives for family and home life. Or, I try to buy food from local suppliers rather than things with loads of food miles.

Then there's the idea of personal discipline, this is primarily an idea about spiritual disciple, but since Quakerism is fundamentally a faith lived, I find applying personal discipline in all areas of my life to be very helpful. Especially since I rather like sitting around and doing not much

Then there's the idea of willing service (especially important in a denomination that has no clergy, so the laity has to perform all functions for the congregation!).

Finally there's something that George Fox wrote about letting your life be a pattern or example of your faith.

I don't want to give you an enormous sermon, so I've been brief, but that was a really interesting thing to think about, thank you! I'm more than happy to provide any further thoughts on the matter!

Now I must go and get ready for bed. ON TIME!!!!

Zillah

seem to have lost a post. No energy now but I'd like to bump this up a bit...

and Zillah, if you could give us some useful resources for Quaker thinking, and consider starting up a thread where we can discuss it in detail, that would be great. I know I'm not the only one who's curious!

Kerri.

Forgot to say yesterday that Jana's challenge worked. I've cleared the desk of the sea of junk

Today I'm going to think about finding a home for the few bits of work (PhD work) that need to hang around on the desk. They must hang around in an organised manner from now on!

Jana and Honey, I could do with a little work on a few unwanted pounds at the moment. Shall we have a taking charge of our bodies challenge? Something for exercise? Something for diet? I'm going to think about what I might find most useful to do. Let me know if any of you guys have some thoughts.

Kerri, I'll look up some Quaker stuff for you and gladly start a thread on the topic. As long as Lynn does feel it's moving into teritory it shouldn't? I'm thinking of lifestyle and ethics only.

Zillah

I got a call to substitute at the elementary school at 6:00am. I declined, but then I was awake, so I got up.

By 7:00 I was on the treadmill and had the strongest day since January 9th, so that was a real bonus!

Now, as to tomorrow morning-I wonder if I could pay the school to call me every day?

-Jo

I don't think it should be a problem Zillah. The main purpose behind it is to learn things which might help all of us better. I think most Americans would probably say they have a kind of curiosity about the Amish, and whilst I'm not exactly comparing the two there is a simplicity and a number of lifestyle issues in both which are very attractive. You aren't going to be evangelizing!!

I'm feeling a little grotty and I'm blaming it on the PAP smear I finally got round to earlier today. I'd totally forgotten the appointment until I saw a slip of paper from the health centre and it suddenly clicked!

I'm considering switching the planned moussaka for some form of noodles. I wasn't really feeling like eating at all and then I got a very strong whiff just outside my house of soy sauce and noodles... And then I felt like grabbing a Chinese takeaway, so I know I must be feeling rough!! Even my plumber can't quite bring himself to eat Chinese takeaway any more and I think it's because his SIL is Taiwanese and he's been forever spoilt by her cooking! No recommendations forthcoming from him.

oh, and I had a nice LONG nap for nearly 2hrs - I started getting a bit crampy so decided to take the paracetamol and take the easy way out! So much for my packing. I've put everything to one side - it just needs to be assembled in the case so to speak! And DH just called to say he was back in the UK, though I have no idea whether he'll be coming home (if he is he'll need feeding) or if he's going on elsewhere. So really, nothing is going to plan these few days but I don't seem to care very much.

there had better be a new thread set up next Monday by someone, and a challenge set of some kind. I don't want to come back and find you've all been slacking off completely. You wouldn't dare do that behind Hope's back so you'd better not do it behind mine... I know where you all live!!!

better concentrate on dinner early if it's going to be different.

Kerri.

Anyone can explain a religious path here as long as it's asked for.

The religion policy here is simple. Look at what you're saying and ask two questions: Does it prescribe? Does it assume?

Does it prescribe: Am I prescribing a religious solution to a secular problem, unasked?

Does it assume: Am I assuming that "everyone else" here shares the same religious path that I do ?

If you can honestly answer "no" to both those questions, you're good to go.

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

I've just been too busy to be online much. I've done some quick lurking, but that's about it for the past few days.

However, during those past few days, I've done some great stuff, like pitching some things out, cutting up bowls of fruit that I've been munching on continuously, and purchasing an electric heater for my drafty living room. Maybe this will inspire me to be more organized and diligent at my lovely large desk area in that room. I also made a CD of a mix of songs designed to motivate me.

The CD and the heater remind me of something:
My grandma talks about a man in the town where she grew up. He always said he was "Rarin' to go, and can't go for rarin'." That's me. I'm great at planning things out and getting ready to do something. By that time I've spent all my energy and motivation, and so the real work never begins.

I'd be very interested to hear more from Zillah about the subject of discipline. I'm sure we all like to be couch potatoes from time to time, but I must admit that mental and physical "paralysis" is the biggest battle I fight with my depression/anxiety issues. I call it getting the "Can'ts". No matter how simple, how pleasant, how rewarding a task might be, if I've got the Can'ts, I literally cannot make myself do it.

This, of course, leads to further anxiety over work not done, and the circle continues.

Onward...

Julie
"We must have patience for love, born of an accidental look." --Me

I don't leave for another 20hrs or so... no excuses!!

I threw out a PILE of sweets yesterday, to DH's shock. They were all green hard sweets, but while some were apple flavour others were gooseberry flavour, and I kid you not, the gooseberry ones were so bad I had to spit them out. I NEVER spit out sweets. So I'd split apart the red ones (rhubarb!) and left the green ones to sort through later. Well yesterday I gave up! All gone. Might even throw the rhubarb ones too. So for the Brits... if you see Fox's Glacier Fruits 'Orchard Fruits' - DON'T BUY THEM!!! ICK!

I'm sort of winding things up here - watering plants, filling bird seed feeder, emptying bins, checking in online for my flight, giving my neighbour some contact details, returning library books... And of ourse I have to empty the fridge. I did do a bit of a whirlwind job on some piles yesterday. I finally remembered that I intended to get my charity items onto the kerb this week, but I've only managed to offload the clothing because the one charity which collects today doesn't take anything but clothes (children's hospital). I have loads of books to go, all fat novels that I would only read again out of sheer boredom, and I don't have the shelf space for that kind of indulgence.

it's an absolute nuthouse still with problems over DH's buiness stuff. Everybody's phoning or emailing someone every few minutes. DH is in the car so I'm on email checking duty till he can read them on his Blackberry. I haven't managed to get off the computer in at least 2hrs!

ah... need to shred those last few receipts...

Kerri.

Today I've been to crazy enormous toddler group and done my usual morning stuff. DD is asleep (for how long . . .) and I need to prepare the Burns Night supper. Then we go swimming, then DD and I make biscuits to take to her Greatgrandmother tomorrow, then we're in to supper and bed time. Tomorrow we go to Greatgrandmother, the next day is PhD day, then it's the weekend. I suspect I might not take charge of that much over the next few days!

Depending on my supper prep I might save my Quakerly Homemaking thoughts for Monday. See how things go and how long DD naps for.

Catch you all soon

Zillah

I walked for 30 minutes yesterday while the boys rode there bikes, to their delight AND I did my PM Yoga! I slept like a baby! And if you are just tuning in, I did pilates on Monday! Hello, resident couch potatoe moves! THIS IS BREAKING NEWS!

Tonight is school so no time to fit in exercise but the plan is to walk and do PM yoga again tomorrow.

My sleep has been a problem lately so to get a good nights sleep is like getting a slice of Heaven to me!

Jana

I'm not, and never have been, good at exercise, so I'm impressed that you managed to do so well. Watch you don't burn out of course, but with payback like a good night's sleep when you haven't slept well in ages... Who cares if you get more fit, as long as you get less exhausted!

Kerri.

Is very time consuming! In the past I have been as low-maintenence as it gets. No makeup, wash & wear hair and clothes,unshaven, eating whatever is handy, etc.

Now with all the time I spend planning my eating and exercising, I'm feeling quite guilty for all the self-indulgence!

It took me 80 minutes to walk my 5 miles today and another 25 washing and cutting fruits and veggies. Then in the shower I actually shaved my legs!

Yes, the world does revolve around me, doesn't it?

Anyway, I did maintain the exercise routine, so that's a good thing. So, why do I feel so bad about it?

-Jo

you are looking after yourself for your family's sake too, making sure they can be proud of you as well as having you around for longer. If your DH is anything like mine he won't see that you've shaved your legs for your benefit but entirely for his!!

Kerri.

I've slowly come to realize that the "Taking Charge" thing is huge for me.

First off, in accordance with my NY Resolution, I've started seeing a professional counselor who works at my GP's office (it's free for their patients, can you imagine? In America?) for the whole eating disorder issue. Something that the counselor said yesterday as we were walking out of the room really pinged in my head.

She mentioned how I might have felt "trapped" at family dinners and how that might contribute to some of my attitudes and behaviors around eating in general and meals in particular. Huge light bulb went off over my head. It wasn't just the dinner table.

I realized that I felt trapped for most of my childhood and adulthood too for that matter. I felt trapped into a hostile enviroment at home, at school, and in Missouri in general. I spent 20 years feeling trapped. I didn't want to be there. I resented it in fact.

I've felt powerless about my life for...ever. The whole issue around taking charge is huge. I don't think I even know how to really do it. I get panicy just thinking about it. I'll get brave and take a little charge of something here, then a little bit there, I'll get to feeling empowered and stronger, but when some setback kind of thing comes along, I loose ground and have to start all over again.

I'm freaking out a little at the whole scope of the "trapped" and "taking charge" issue in my life. First thought: "Where's the chocolate?"

This is a little bit of what I've been running on the hamster wheel in my head with the past 24 hours. Needed to try to get it out there and I hope this isn't more information than you wanted to know. I don't want to get too poppsych or anything, but this is where I am. I'm gonna need teeny tiny baby steps, here. I've just discovered a whole new set of neuroses. Like I needed more. Anyway, just be patient with me folks, I'm trying to figure out which way is up.

Anhata
www.familynaturally.com
Your Family's General Store, Naturally

Good for you, Anhata! From someone who has been to several doctors unearthing some of my own neuroses over the past couple years, I can appreciate where you are with this. Here's something to ponder: Two years ago I was at my all-time low where being frustrated and trapped was concerned. I've been really amazed that it was during THAT time that I was able to quit smoking--go figure. I've since decided that it was BECAUSE I felt so out of control about everything else around me. It was the only thing I COULD take charge of, to see any positive results ANYWHERE. Let us know how you are doing!

Jo, it takes me 20 minutes to supreme a nice big Florida orange. I've been eating about 6 per day!

Been doing more organizing here. It's great. That, and I've been experimenting with yet ANOTHER health issue. Will report my findings when they are more conclusive!

Have a great day,

Julie
"We must have patience for love, born of an accidental look." --Me

Sounds like you are on the right road Anhata - Best wishes to you on this journey!!

Hmmmm, now you've got me curious Julie!
Andrea

my thoughts are with you. We will be here for you when you need us!

Julie - ANOTHER? Girl, let us know!

Okay, class was great. Humanities. I have no idea how I am gonna organize all the info in my head but I was so enthralled the entire 3 hours!

PM Yoga when I got home AND.....slept like a baby! I could get used to this sleeping good thing!

Jana

is that I am obsessive about washing my produce. We have a very, very limited selection of organic fruits and veggies, and I spend way too much time making sure everything is clean, even washing many of them with soap. I am sooooo weird!

I did 5 miles again today, so that makes 6 days in a row. I feel much better physically. I am sleeping better, have more energy, am much calmer too.

Good thought on Routines Kerri! Thinking of it as just what I do, as opposed to "something extra-special" had gotten my butt on that treadmill much more easily. And again, once I'm on it, I'm fine. It's the getting there. So, here's to getting there!

-Jo

Just peeking in to say hello, and all power to your arm, Anhata

Must run, I hear DH at the door and supper needs tending.

Zillah

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

Begin it now.”

Goethe

Anhata
www.familynaturally.com
Your Family's General Store, Naturally

I'd print it out but we have no ink I'd write it out, but there doesn't seem to be a pen on the desk....you can see I need to work on organisation
Seriously, great quote Anhata. You sound really inspired right now, good luck. We're all here if needed

Kerri must be in Singapore now (hopefully buying the nasi goreng mix she has promised me ). It must be fantastic to be there for Chinese New Year, DS and I went to the celebrations in Central London a few years ago, and really enjoyed it, must do that again. Not this year, though, as we have a Ruby Wedding celebration to attend that day. Speaking of which, I have lost the gift I bought and need to ransack my bedroom to find it. Oh, to be a tidy person with a tidy house!

The house is very cluttered right now. While I was ill after Christmas a lot of things got behind and I haven't caught up. Laundry, tidying, housework, everything really. When things are cluttered like this I find it difficult to do anything successfully. I can't find anything, I keep bumping into piles of things that fall over, the living room looks like a laundry with clothes hanging on the airer, on the radiator, ironed clothes hanging on the doors, unironed clothes in a basket on the floor....aarrgghh. I am feeling a serious need to take control, but not knowing where to start. What did Lenora say to me once? Start with something that will make the most impact. Right. I'll go make the living room look nice, that'll make me feel better

Zillah, I'm with you on the diet and exercise thing. Shall we have a New You type thread, or do it here? Looking forward to your Quakerly Homemaking Thoughts too (you can be my guru )

Off to the living room....

"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed."
~Martina Navratilova

Anhata...what a powerful statement! This part in particular:

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.

How encouraging to understand that as we commit to a purpose or path, Providence immediately joins us...sort of "got your back" kind of assurance for our future!

Today I suppose I'm wishing that "Providence" did laundry! Actually, I'm almost done with laundry, although there is still a bit to iron and more-than-that to get put away.

I'm done with my kitchen and pantry inventory! I have a list to type up and a list of stuff I'd like to add to my stock...but what I have is organized and accessible!

While I was working in the basement I pulled out my box of Valentine's Day decor and the wreath for the front door, so that is done! (It's not much: a couple of knick-knacks, a few red candles, a silk flower arrangement for the piano...silk boxers with bright pink lips all over them for DH )

I received my "official" transcripts from the university with my "degree awarded" yesterday! I guess that means the I need to "take charge" of getting myself on a couple of substitute lists! That will be a priority next week...along with bedtime, eating habits (mine, mostly) and exercise. My home is in pretty good shape but my physical self is going downhill. Time to put a stop to that!

Have a great day, friends!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

Jana

I sat in bed and ate while watching TV all night.

Well, I was also doing computer work, but that didn't burn any calories!

Seriously, way to go, Jana!

Julie
"We must have patience for love, born of an accidental look." --Me

"Haven't been to TNH in a while, but I think I need to get with the program. I dropped my briefcase 10 months ago to be a SAHM and lately I have been feeling guilty because I just ain't lovin' it. I thought every day would be fun and games and I would twirl around in my kitchen cooking fabulous meals. I read everyone's comments and wonder how you manage to do all you do. I am feeling inspired by what I have read - - I'm just so far behind. I don't mean in the sense that my house is a mess - - my house is pretty tidy, not much clutter, What I need is more routine. I feel anxious everyday about making meals; guilty if I find I have free time; boredome because each day is like the last. So, this is it. I need to take charge and just make something happen. Hopefully I can catch up with you all.

Anhata, I cannot believe how aposite your post was. DH and I have decided today to 'Begin it now' and not plan to buy a house in 9 months time, but to start the process of building our own. DMIL is happy for us to stay here a little while longer while we get things underway, so, from right now, it's official. We're going to build our own house. I'M SO EXCITED!!! Part of me is worried that we'll never do it, that land prices are SO expensive in the UK, that it's going to be a nightmare. But most of me is SO EXCITED!

Right, I've calmed down now. (ish )

Welcome Moonpi! As you'll see from my above confession, I am a slave to routines. However, I should say it took me about a year to get to where I am now with them. I like mine because they get the necessary things out of the way (cleaning the bathrooms, planning meals) so that I have the freedom to do fun things (visiting, taking DD swimming). As to feeling guilty about free time, remember that you're a homemaker, not a cleaner. Do you have things that you enjoy doing for the home? Make you a happy person? Enrich your family life? All kinds of things are fun to do in your free time and are part of homemaking. Also, don't forget, you get breaks in the office, you should get breaks in the home as well

Honey, Lenora, lets do eating/exercise stuff here, since we're all here anyway

Honey - I'm NOT going to be your guru. Not till I get white hair and a long robe and a great deal more wisdom, and believe me, that is a LOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG way away

Goodness it's late. . .

Zillah

I'm just so tired of being tired, overweight, and cranky! I've been "walking" with aerobics tapes sporadically, a few times a week, but it's been so hard to keep at it. But despite being up too late I made myself get up again this morning.

The goofy part is that I *know* that if I did this every day I would be more alert, thinner/healthier, and happier. So why don't I do it? It's like the old joke, "I'd give anything to play violin like that." "OK, start practicing every day, 8 hours, for the next 20 years." "Oh, well, not that!"

Hello again, Moonpi! I have to say that I have those feelings too, often because I have gotten into the mindset of being a caretaker of everyone else and putting myself last. Then when I have some time to myself -- whoops! I don't even know what I want. Maybe you could develop routines that include some stuff just for you, so you know you're "supposed" to do it.

But I ate 5 strawberry twizzlers while doing it!

I have walked 4 times this weekend and I do feel better about myself. I don't "feel" better yet but about myself and that I am finally taking action, I do. Got it? Does that make any sense?

Dinner planning has also been very good.

So all in all this month of taking charge has been good for me. I feel I have some things set up that I can hang on to.

Jana

Seemed to fit! I've been feeling better since I posted the "Where I am" thing.

I realized when I got up the next morning that the whole "trapped" and powerless situation techincally no longer applies to me. For the past 14 years I've slowly, determinedly/deliberately removed myself from the situations and circumstances that had trapped, stiffled, oppressed, me, etc. and I've ALWAYS made damn sure that I don't get sucked back into another similar situation. I refuse to. You can't make me. I'm free.

For the past two days I've been repeating to myself, I'm free. I am living where *I* want. I am living how *I* want. I am living with whom *I* want. I have stepped up and changed my circumstances, changed my life, and I am free. I don't have to freak out about trying to learn how to Take Charge, I already have, I just haven't been giving myself credit for it. I might have been feeling out of control, but that's just a state of mind, not the truth or "what is so."

I've not *been* powerless since I grew up and left home. I've not *been* trapped since we moved from where I didn't want to be to where I did. But part of my head and heart are obviously still there. Now's the tricky part. Excavating the rest of myself from the past and stepping into the future that *I* want.

I've been thinking all day about what kind of routines I want to try to get some order to my day and house. That's an important area of my Taking Charge. I think I need to write down the areas that I want to Take Charge in, like Personal Health, Family Relationships, House and Home, and the like and see what little baby steps I can do right now to Take Charge. Nothing huge, something doable that'll make me, thus everyone else, a little bit happier and more empowered.

That's all for now. Thanks for your kind messages of support while I ramble on about my neuroses. (How come it's not neurosi?) Anyway.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Anhata
www.familynaturally.com
Your Family's General Store, Naturally

I wrote up a personal priorities list this past September. It goes: health, family, friends, job, school. (What can I say, I'm not a dream student.) It helps a lot with making decisions.

as a sex-line phone operator!

I have pretty much lost my voice, so I have this very raspy, whiskey voice happening right now, and I have been getting many comments on it, mostly from other women!

Anyway-today makes 7 straight days of exercise! This morning was my women's running group meeting, the one of the three each week I usually make. We did a long, slow run and it felt really good, Of course, the sunshine and 45 degree temps are helping take me to that happy place. I have the windows open too to welcome in the fresh air.

In a bit we will tackle the kitchen cupboards and drawers (really from the one room challenge on another thread), clean the rest of the house for CNY (from the homeschooling thread) and make some dumplings, noodles, and shrimp with sno peas.

May I suggest a financial theme for an upcoming week? I need to get some paperwork together for taxes, and it sure wouldn't hurt to do some filing/organizing of all things money-related. Just a thought.

Have a lovely weekend!

-Jo

JO,you had me going for about a second!

The running sounds great!