Take charge of your Life??

What about 'Taking Charge?' Short and sweet.Taking charge of my life, home and family is definitely where I want my focus to be in 2006.

Feels empowering!

Jana

How about thinking about a couple of good DO-ABLE New Year's Resolutions to start with?

Zillah

I love that you guys are so tight but I wish you'd keep the flybabies forum devoted to flying, and use the other forums for everything else. It's kinda hard to join in the conversation there. And it's my site, even!

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

Sometimes I only have time to follow a single thread and that one usually IS Flybabies when I have to pick one!

Other times, I am working on my Ph.D. application and will post on every single thread in order to procrastinate....

I agree with Lynn! I wish we could have a "here's what I'm doing today/this week" kind of forum that anyone could post on. I tried once to suggest that the "clearing clutter" and "flybaby" threads merge but was voted down.

But I'm suggesting it again. There could be a "flylady" thread specifically for things related to the flylady system if there is sufficient interest. And then another thread that is just what Kerri describes, which as far as I can tell is for the most part what the current flybabies forum does.

Or is the flybaby forum overwhelming just because some people post daily?

Shaun

On some other message boards where I post, they have daily or weekly "roll call" threads that are like what Shaun describes. Then they have special interest threads like Flylady etc. (yes, including Flylady! remember when we were some of the few and the proud who had ever heard of her?)

That's where general conversation was meant to go.

ETA: If you use the tracker it's easier to keep track of multiple threads than you think. It keeps track of what you've read. It's a great reason to log in. Second great reason: The Google ads go away!

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

Guys -

I really hate to hear that you don't want to chime in on the Flybabies thread! Not everyone is going by the "system". We are all doing parts that we can handle, sometimes that is not much. For example, I may only do maintenance during the week and some deep cleaning and Zone stuff on the weekends. Anyone is welcome to join. Yes, we do discuss other stuff and it can become pretty unstructured. So maybe Lynn is right, we should post that other stuff elsewhere. But then it seems like we lose the "community" feeling.

I am like Becky, often I only have time for one website and one thread and that is it! So everything ends up there!

Just ramblin'
Andrea

I do pop in occasionally, but a lot of it is Flybaby terminology which I'm still aware of but not really in the mood for. I know the very general, bumbling along type conversation has a specific home, but I'm more in the mood for something where we can have a little chat and get support about how we're taking charge of things.

my bath water's getting cold but I didn't want Andrea to feel like we felt unwelcome. That isn't the case, honest! I think simple goals, as Zillah mentioned might be a good idea to get us out of the post-Christmas lethargy. I went out for the first time since Christmas today and nearly fell asleep standing up! I like Marlene's suggestions, I do, but I think we might need to put those aside after the weekend, get moving at a slightly brisker pace!

my fingers are numb and bath water waits for no woman in this house!!

Kerri.

I understand Kerri and thanks for posting. I just don't want anyone to feel like they are unwelcome for any reason! We have newcomers quite a bit - some stay and some don't.

...works for me!

I like that it can encompass more than just housekeeping! My home is pretty ordered (aside from the current after-Christmas chaos, of course) so I'd like a place to post about things to accomplish for the rest of my life: family and friends and scouts and church meetings and job hunting (EEK!)etc. Sometimes I even felt bad posting on "declutter" because most of my "clutter" is mental!

I've missed you all terribly this fall and hope to contribute more regularly...starting now!

Today I plan to spend some time with my mission statement and begin to think about my clean-sweep schedule for this winter/spring.

Other than that, I think I'll plan something yummy for tomorrow's dessert and then I need to make a run to the grocery store. DH and I are staying in this evening...the DDS have a party (here in the neighborhood) and I need to fix up something tasty for them to take to that, too.

We're off to a lazy start this morning...none of us are even dressed yet!

Yikes! I beter get to it!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

the first few days of the year are completely pointless, so I figure that once we have the decorations cleared up (should be done by this Friday, Twelfth Night) and all kids are back at school that are going (mine don't start till the Monday, which is very late), and all spouses are getting back into their respective ruts... that's the time we need to be getting our own butts into gear for real.

Prep suggestions: clear the decorations. Nobody has excuses for them being up after Friday. Think about what you want to achieve this year. Sort out any niggling little things that might get in the way of progress later. Make sure you have the right organisational tools to get through the year - calendar is the basic, but also any pens, files, highlighters, ink cartridges, etc that you might need to keep yourself in order.

And if you can each come up with one small realistic goal over the weekend maybe we can then offer them up over the first few weeks to get ourselves kickstarted.

Let's keep it simple so we can actually achieve sensible goals, rather than going crazy and burning out before the end of January! Keeping the momentum going is the hard part, but we don't all lose motivation at the same time, so those who are buzzing can keep going and help drag along the ones who are slacking a bit - that's the number one reason for a thread like this! I doubt very much whether I can keep up the bossy 'Hope' tone of voice forever!!

Kerri.

My first thought was "Noooooo, I'm not ready!" but NEXT Monday is entirely doable! I am completely onboard with getting the decor down and put away by then (we also leave most up throught 12th night) and then DH and I have our final "holiday" event next Saturday...so Monday the 9th is the perfect day to begin, IMHO!

I promise to do my part in keeping things going around here, though I can't "hope" to match you in effectiveness!

As for today, DH is back to work (off since the 24th) but the DDS don't go back to school until tomorrow. Right away we have "stuff" on the schedule as DD15 is in the NE Ohio Honors Band with rehearsals Tuesday evening, Wednesday and Thursday durring the day, and a performance Thursday evening. DH is headed west...(Kansas, I think)...for the remainder of the week, which lightens the cooking load considerably!

Today's plan is to finish finding homes for the last few Christmas gifts still lying on the floor in boxes and do a bit of a purge in the DDS's closets for some room.

I need to hem a few things...I may not get out the machine today, but I do want to get everything marked, so when the "urge" takes me, I'm ready to go even if the DDS are not here.

That, a bit of football, and dinner will fill my day!

Love to all!
Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

I hope to get through to Friday in a vaguely orderly fashion! Get those decorations down by Friday and make some nice cards with DD to send as thankyou notes. Oh, and go shopping and end the post-Christmas chaos!

Zillah

Having been sick since the 27th, today is the first day I felt up to getting off the sofa, so you can imagine the state of my house. Presents piled up all over the living room, hardly an inch of counter space in the kitchen, tons of laundry to do (with the added challenge that DS broke one of the clothes airers and the drier has broken). Goals for the rest of this week are

1. Put the decorations away in the loft.
2. Get DS to write his thank you letters.
3. Catch up on some laundry

I'm breaking myself in gently - more plans for next week.

being sick isn't an excuse for not getting things done, it's a valid reason. If you get anything done at all, give yourself a pat on the back. Don't beat yourself up for what you haven't done. One thing I've noticed we're really bad at, almost all of us, is being realistic in what we want to achieve. I'm sure you've all read the New Year's Resolutions threads and that's a perfect example - one of Jo's resolutions includes being realistic in the way she trains for a marathon because she's already messed up on that once.

that's why I suggested next Monday, not yesterday. That's why we need small goals to keep us going.

and watch out for those curve balls - my husband is on his way to an airport about 3hrs away and just discovered he left his wallet at home. He can't change his flight, doesn't have time to come and get his wallet and still catch his flight... we've got it sorted, amazingly, but my head hurts like hell!

Kerri.

...those pesky husbands! Glad you were able to get it sorted out, Kerri. My DH once went off to a trade show without his company shirts (ONLY worn at shows) ...which, I might add, were cleaned AND pressed and hanging with the rest of his things. I had to overnight(FedEX) them to him...sheesh!

I did get a bit of "put-away" done yesterday...and some laundry...and a decent dinner. I wasn't feeling great, though, so that was pretty good, considering.

Everyone is up, dressed, fed, and out of the house...except me, of course. I have a couple of errands to run this morning and some phone calls to make. This afternoon I'm going to start un-decorating. I need to pull up the storage boxes from the basement but I may wait for the DDs to help with that.

Honey, I'm sorry to know you've been "yucky." Don't work yourself into a relapse...take-it-easy!

Have a great day, friends!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

Honey, we were ill over Christmas as well. Horrible, isn't it? Ease yourself back in gently, you don't want this hanging round for ages because you didn't give yourself time to get better.

Husbands, eh? I swear DH is getting much dapsier since he got his PhD. Not spreading his brain around enough, that's what I think!

I've managed to do some post-Christmas cleaning, basic shopping, return and renew library books and meal plan for the week. Facing me now is one of my least favourite house jobs. Washing the kitchen floor. Agghh. I hate that job

Zillah

I got the decorations down, but they are still lying around the house in boxes. I have washed Christmas cushion covers, linen etc and am waiting for them to be dry before I put it all up in the loft again.

DS wrote all his thank you letters, but I need to dig out my address book for the envelopes. Need to write a few thank you letters myself too.

I can't say I have caught up on laundry yet but I have at least borrowed a clothes airer from my Mum, arranged for my Dad to mend the broken one, and I have a repairman coming to fix the dryer sometime in the next couple of days.

So I have almost done my three goals for this week, which is something I guess, especially as I feel like I have been run over by a steamroller.

My main aim for the remainder of the week is to eat three good meals each day and remember to drink enough. I am feeling far too weak and wobbly. Time to build myself up a bit.

I also want to clear up that bedroom of mine, but then that's always on the list isn't it?! I think that should be a New Year Resolution.

Actually, I think I'm on my own track. Kind of. I haven't even started on my decorations yet, but then, I'm usually still enjoying them right after Christmas. I usually get them taken down by the middle of January or so. What I have been doing is taking advantage of the year-end sales to go buy most of our new clothes for the year...which means I'm really making more of a mess by bringing in new things instead of cleaning up old ones, which I desperately need to do. Oh well, next week. At least I'm making progress on my desk?

I was feeling good yesterday, but although I went to bed at about 9pm I ended up not sleeping thanks to a phone call from DH and long discussion. This morning I felt like I'd been hit over the head with a baseball bat and even my plumber has started sneezing and snuffling so we're not having a particularly good day.

However, the tree is undecorated. Still in the middle of the living room, right in front of the television (out of the way of the radiator!) but undecorated. Just have to get it out of the house before the end of the day and then I can wory about how to dispose of it properly another day. We're going artificial next year! I still have a few decorations to pull down - the type that require a stool and I keep getting dizzy so they might have to wait a little while. And of course it looks like a bombs hit in my house between the decorations scattered around and the things that were moved for the plumber - we had a bit of a flood yesterday too, though it was fortunately not on any carpeted areas, so no real damage.

I can only hope I wake up on Monday feeling better than this or all my good intentions will be right down the toilet and someone else will have to start the militant do-gooder thread!

Maybe I should sleep through the weekend...

Kerri.

I want to be in on this one. I tried to post last week, but it didn't get through due to problems with our new DSL and this week has been totally crazy cause both babies are sick with cold/flu bug. Nothing serious, but even by twin standards I am sleep deprived.

I want to do two things for real resolutions this year: Enjoy my kids more and get walking daily again. I want to work on organizing my house, but that is not going to be part of a resolution. Also, some serious baby-proofing will be going on here in a couple of months.

It felt so great to put away all the Christmas stuff. I always feel like the house is so open and uncluttered once all that gets put away.

The big upcoming project here: the computer room. It looks like a tornado hit. I need a system in here cause the kids just destroy it when they color in here.

Thanks for starting this Kerri. Hope you feel better soon.

Lauralyn

it's empowering. I have a seriously disempowered attitude about how I run my life. A topic like this is a big boost for me to help keep present the need to examine and reexamine my priorities, my attitudes, my escape mechanisms, all the stuff that gets in the way of getting my job done as a homemaker, mother, wife, friend, business owner, citizen, and human being.

For instance, it occured to me today after thinking about this thread to start doing what my mother does. As she walks through a room, she keeps an eye out for things that don't belong in that room, picks up any she may find, and puts them where they belong on her way to where she was going. I don't do that. I look at it, think, "I need to put that away" and walk past it, putting it off. And I do that with everything. Phone calls that need to be made. Greeting cards that need to be addressed and sent off. Dinner. I need a wholistic approach to help me take charge of everything, a tiny bit at a time. My housekeeping is just a small part of it.

Today, I took charge. I did the flylady thing with my bathroom as soon as I got up and liked it. Then I took charge of my dresser. Instead of resenting that I pile stuff up on it so it doesn't look pretty, or even like a bedroom, I straightened it. I then took charge of my sock drawer. Then I took charge of the kitchen. I then took charge of makeing the phone calls I needed to and taking care of my ragged fingernails. And so on.

It wasn't overwhelming, and I feel good about it. I feel like I'm beginning to make the attitude adjustments that will help me take charge of my life.

Thanks, Kerri.

Anhata
www.familynaturally.com
Your Family's General Store, Naturally

What have I started here!?!?!

Just a thought... before this thread disappears completely I suggest that anyone who has written down what they want to organise or why, should make notes of the details (or print off the thread and highlight it when you have time). If you're anything like me you'll need to have it in writing so you can keep track of what your goals were so you can see your progress. That's especially useful when you're hitting a rough patch and it feels like you're going backwards!

I think maybe I should print of this thread too so I can try and hold us ALL accountable - isn't that a scary thought!!

one more thing... please don't be expecting me to do all the pushing and shoving here, because I'm gonna have my rough patches too, so we all need to pitch in and encourage each other. There's nothing like starting a project like this to get you feeling empowered, as Anhata says.

So, has everyone taken down their decorations?? Be honest! All mine are down but I still have to store some (find space since it's all new) and dispose properly of the tree which is sitting outside in the garden at the moment! Enjoy the 'fullness of nothing' for a while - bare walls, bare mantel... Try to avoid the same old stuff back up, at least for a while, till you decide whether that's what you really want up there.

Kerri.

We walked the tree down to the recycling point in the local park this morning, just about managing to avoid the nasty sleety rain showers! Everything looks sparse and lovely without the decorations. I did try to pursuade DH that we had to eat all the remaining Christmas cake last night, but he wasn't having it Now all I have to do is work out how to declutter the enormous, grotesque polar bear in a santa outfit that my step-mother-in-law thought would be a wonderful present for DD

You're right, Kerri, we do need to all take responsibility for Taking Charge. Mutual support, that's what we need

Zillah

Get the ugly bear out every year and have it in DD's room, just for a month or so around the Christmas period, then pack it away in the loft for the following year In a few years' time you can get rid of it on the grounds that DD has grown out of it.

Anhata, what you said really resonated with me, I am just like that! I often feel like I haven't got a handle on any aspect of my life at all, and it's because I am not proactive enough in taking charge.

Yesterday I worked a little on planning out morning and evening routines. With DS14 being homeschooled, and me being single (no man coming home at regular times wanting feeding etc), there really are no regular daily events which would force me into a schedule. Not that I like schedules very much, but we definitely need more of a routine. I'm not attempting flylady as such, except for morning and evening routines and I am going to try to work out for a regular housework day and errand day, etc. Hopefully I will have all this in place ready to start on Monday

I still have the candles in the windows and the window swags out...they're covered in snow and need to be dry before putting away, so I may-as-well leave them up until we get a break from our winter snow/rain mix. If that doesn't happen in the next week-or-so, I'll get them down and lay them out in the basement to dry. I still need to switch back to the regular dishes/glasses (I think I've got all the Christmas stuff clean, at least) and finish putting back my decorative "stuff" in the kitchen.

I did ge the laundry down to a managable level yesterday, and cut up a gazillion squares for DD10.5's scout meeting...they've started denim rag quilts similar to this.

DH and I have dinner plans with the other guys-and-wives in his office tonight...the "last" of our holiday events. (I need to get another coat of polish on my nails sometime this afternoon!)

I'll be ready on Monday with my "take-charge" list!

Have a great week-end, all!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

I can add a to-do or goals list to the user profile...

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

Taking control of my life.

Wow.

This is something that's been tickling and nagging at me for a very long time.

For many years - ten, I guess - I've had an external locus of control. He goes by the name of "Uncle Sam."

As many of you know, my husband is in the US Army. Before we were married, Steve warned me: "The Army is a harsh mistress, and will occupy a lot of my time." Being young-ish, naive, and totally in love, I brushed that warning aside. I had no idea how the Army - and Steve's commitment to serve her - would affect my time and my life. Much of my time, my life, it seems, is spent waiting. Waiting for a deployment or unaccompanied overseas tour to end. Waiting for the next one to begin. Waiting to find out what was causing Steve's health problems. Waiting for Steve to retire. Waiting for Godot. My nursing career has been on hold for ten years now, save for some flu clinics here and there. I always said I'd go back. "Someday."

Last year, the planets aligned, and I realized that "someday" was fast approaching. The clincher was a newpaper advertisement I saw when we were on vacation in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. It said, "patients are dying because of the nursing shortage." That was the proverbial bucket of cold water in my face.

So, I gathered the appropriate paperwork, paid the exorbitant fees, and applied to sit the NCLEX-RN exam in order to be licensed to practice nursing in the state of New York. And this Tuesday, that is what I will do. I've been busy studying. I graduated from Nursing School thirteen years ago, and in the interim, I swear my brain has turned to teflon!

I'm feeling pretty confident about the exam, but I'm not so sure about what will come next. After all of these years as a SAHM - with no regrets, BTW - I'm worried about how I will sell myself to a potential employer.

The good news is that I can afford to be picky. We've thrived as a single income family. We don't need more money at this time. Will I be able to find a position that is minimally invasive to our family life? That's the big question, the next challenge.

Cue the soap opera music...

Best of luck Rose! You will be a great nurse I know! Please keep us posted -
Andrea

We have the ornaments back in the ornament box, the tree back in it's box, and the boxes back downstairs or in the garage. Need to vacuum and rearrange the front room, too.

After that, all that's left is to put the garlands, swags, and a couple misc. Christmas decor away, and for DH to take the outside lights down, which I'm not going to rush him on. I looked over with a highly critical eye all the Christmas ornaments as we were putting them away and I don't think I have to weed any out besides the one box of glass ball ornaments that were all scratched up and cracked. I do want to thrift store at least three boxes of Christmas decorations that I don't like to put out anymore.

Aside from that, today I took charge of the kitchen again, cooking, clearing the counters, washing dishes, I even swept the floor (gasp). And all without any of the resentment that usually dogs my every act in the kitchen.

"If you want to change your life, change your mind."

I still want to know how I can have a clean house, meals on time, and still work in time to play with my kid. Haven't figured that out yet. Right now, it's one or the other.

Anhata
www.familynaturally.com
Your Family's General Store, Naturally

It NEVER fails that I always miss one piece of holiday decor once everything is packed away. Really. Every year, no matter how carefully I look, come mid-January I find something I've forgotton/missed. (Happens at Easter and in the fall, too.) So as DH took the last box to the basement yesterday, I told the DDs to "keep an eye out" for what I've missed...

DH and I went off to a wonderful dinner at Viva Barcelona with the team from the midwest office of his company. Since dinner ended with coffee and dessert, I used my bit of late-night caffeine-and-sugar-induced energy to straighten and wipe up the kitchen when we got home. Sure enough, right there in plain sight: the holiday burner covers on the stove-top. Sheesh! Not even an obscure corner! Right out in the center of things! Oh well, at least it's not February!

Blessings,
Lenora
"...if woman's work is never done, why bother about how much of it [isn't] getting done at any given moment?"
~ Claire Fraser in The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon

Last year it was the fiber optic angel that sits on the bookshelf in the corner (she stayed out all year--I put her away this year). This year it's a ballerina ornament and some Christmas potholders that a friend gave the girls this year. oh well...

Lynn Siprelle, Editor