What I Learned So Far........

Jana's picture

Today markes 10 years of wedded bliss for DH and I. Did I say wedded "BLISS"? Well, it started the post off on the right foot! Made everyone warm and fuzzy.....but the truth is I have learned several things about marriage in 10 years:

At times we both want to throw in the towel. But luckily for us we have done it at different times. So when I say take a hike or let ME take a hike he is there to reassure me and convince me to stay and fight. And when he says "enough" I say no, no,no,no look at all we have, you would not want to walk away from all this. The day we BOTH want to give up at the same time is the day we are in trouble.

A good therapist CAN save a marriage and even when things aren't bad it is still good to see them and keep the dialogue going.

Sometimes your heart has to be shattered into a millions pieces for you to rebuild and grow.

Kids DO change everything.

It's okay to not like him some days. He doesn't always like you!

God DOES have a sense of humor.

A man is just a big kid, most days and you just have to
find the humor in that.

The prince days make up for all the days he is a total toad!

Sex does help headaches. Even when your partner IS the headache!

To see your partner hold your newborn for the first time is a glimpse of heaven.

When he holds your hair when you throw up he IS a keeper and you need to overlook the fact that he can't find his keys right in front of him.

When you want to shoot him, call a girlfriend, IMMEDIATLEY! NOT YOUR MOTHER!

No one has the perfect marriage. Not your parents, not your neighbors, not your president, not your best friend, not even you. Marriage is HARD work, EVERYDAY.

Making his favorite cookies takes the sting out of an overdrawn account.

When it is all said and done, at the end of the day you can lay down beside each other and know, when you wake up it is a new day and you get to start it together.

Sometimes, going to bed angry is okay.

Learn to agree to disagree.

Learn to put your hand over your mouth and NOT have the last word.

His ego is a fragile thing. No matter how equal he wants to be or how in touch with his feminine side he is he still wants to feel like "the man" with you!

He just CAN'T multitask like you. Don't expect him to.

He will never mind you spending money on lingerie! Seriously!

Your kids will be happy if mommy and daddy are happy. It is okay to put the relationship first.

This weekend, the kids are staying with family and DH and I have time together to BE. He is taking me to a hockey game tomorrow night. Nothing like a good aggressive sport to get you all romantic. I asked him what that meant that I was so happy he was taking me to a hockey game for our 10th anniversary and he said "that means I married the right person!" So true, so true.

Through all the daily crap I am so happy I am going through the journey with him. Drained bank accounts, cranky kids, yucky kitchen floors, fights with family, stresses at work, migraine headaches, mistakes and heartache......he is there by my side and I wouldn't want it any other way. He is a pretty good partner to dance this dance with. He steps on my toes and I step on his but we still keep dancing.

Hug you partner today in honor of my DH and ten years of .......yes, wedded BLISS!

Jana

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jennye's picture

Happy Anniversary!!

Ten years is a great milestone!! Congratulations (my 11th is coming up next month. Yikes! I can't be old enough to have been married that long!! WTH!!!)

Andrea's picture

Congrats

Congrats Jana - you have learned a lot! We had our 18th last July - still can't digest that one.

Andrea

Lynn's picture

Happy anniversary, Jana

We just had #11 and it's an interesting ride, innit?

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

Susannah's picture

A very happy day!

Congratulations on making it ten years! That's wonderful! You are absolutely right, marriage is hard work. But those sailin' times are really nice too, aren't they? Smiling

witchiepoo's picture

That Was So True

And so sweet! We have been together 21 years and married 17 this June. I have many of the exact same feelings (although not about hockey!) Smiling

Congratulations, and enjoy your weekend-you've earned it!
Love,
-Jo

Kerri's picture

Good for you Jana

Well done to both of you for making it this far, though I know you've had some difficult times. We're coming up on ten too at the end of January, and what you said about hard work - I tell that to every newlywed friend, because it's just so true. And when one of you is too tired or too sick or too wrapped up with other problems to be working at it, you'd better hope the other one understands. Mine does, thank goodness. I've had times of being just too sick to do much at all, and all he says when I'm feeling better is how nice it is to 'have me back'. No complaints or grudges.

but the princes and toads do seem to be so closely interwoven... a guy who does a whole pile of ironing because he just knows I hate it, versus the guy who fills the room with unpleasant bodily sounds and odours and just grins at me, telling me that I'm lucky he feels comfortable enough to do that round me - he saves them up!

Smiling

and his sweaters are always convenient when I'm cold and can't put my hand on mine!

Jana - here's to some easier, more enjoyable times and times when you see eye-to-eye on more things more often.

Kerri.

jamielea's picture

Wow

I haven't been around much lately but I'm so glad I didn't miss this. Happy Anniversary!
Very well said, makes one think.
DH and I celebrated 10 years in March, and your right it's not always easy, but it is worth the effort.

Becky's picture

Happy anniversary!

Hope you had fun at the hockey game.

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