A lifestyle thing

Shaun, I don’t consider myself a veteran but I have homeschooled DS7 (2nd grade) from the beginning. I feel like I’m still in the process of working out the kinks and from what I gather every year is a new kink. Obviously it takes a lot of commitment, I don’t think I fully realized how much commitment until this year; Savannah added a whole new dimension to our day! LOL
As far as lifestyle I sometimes feel like we live, eat, and breathe homeschool. Trey is very outgoing and needs interaction with other kids almost on a daily basis; we usually participate in at least 3, sometimes 4 homeschool activities a week. I’m not sure I’m an introvert but I do prefer staying home to most everything else. I’ve met a lot of different people threw the different homeschool groups. I choose to constantly “move” threw the crowd as opposed to sitting with one person or one group of people (I’m weird) LOL The purpose of this is (insert my Dr. Phill voice) to keep people at a distance I think?! Women are catty; I can be catty when the mood strikes, I’d just rather not deal with that part of it. Sometimes I take a book, a lot of other moms do the same thing, some knit, sew, ect. Uh, my purpose of telling you this part ((what was my purpose?)) Oh, I think you could survive it being introverted; it just takes some adjusting to. I also don’t get too close to EVERYBODY because I don’t have time for more “stuff”. I guess that brings us to personal time, I don’t get A.N.Y. But that probably has more to do with the fact that we live 1200 miles from any family and it takes a very long time for me to trust someone with my children. DH will step up on the weekends and watch the kids while I catch up on sleep, or reading, or cleaning, whatever I choose.
I do think it’s a “lifestyle”, like I said I think at least during the week everything revolves around Homeschooling for us. Things tend to run much smoother when I get up early and start my day early. On a great day we’re done with Homeschooling by noon, the house is clean/livable and we’re ready for whatever activity we have that day (all our activities start at 1:00) On a bad day we leave for an activity with a dirty house and come home and finish up school in the late afternoon.
I know I’ve probably not answered question one that you had but either way I hope you make the right decision for your family and that it all works out good.

Although for us it is hard to tell because our entire life changed this year.

The biggest thing I struggle with is holding myself accountable for getting my hiney out of the house and into the community. I am a big-time introvert and would be perfectly happy to sit in my chair sipping tea, reading, and listening to the radio all day, occasionally getting up to cook. I see really cool things in the paper and think, "Oh, that would be great to take DD to." and then I tend not to.

I did schedule her for ballet, which is a weekly lesson, she did a 6 week soccer program twice a week, and she will be doing either Tae Kwon Do or ski school this winter. That's how I satisfy the "socialization" arguement. I also got us tickets to some performances at the regional theater for four shows.

I really love homeschooling. It's just fun. I also really like being able to be sure DD is appropriately challenged. She missed the kindergarten cut-off date by 2 weeks, so by the school's rules she shouldn't even be in school yet. However, she is reading, and doing first grade level math. If I had kept her back another year there is no way the school would have been able to meet her needs.

She may go to the public school someday, but right now this is just the right thing for us.

And did I mention it's really fun?

-Jo

I only just noticed this thread, Shaun, so sorry I'm a bit late contributing.

I really have enjoyed having DS at home, but it was a big adjustment for me having him around all the time. I do enjoy his company, but as a single parent I don't get a break at all in the evenings and weekends, so to have the same thing all week too was difficult. It is not such a big thing now, but as a younger child (DS came home aged 11) he wanted to talk to me almost constantly, which could be very wearing. I would say you have to really enjoy your child's company to have them at home full time.

I am fairly outgoing by nature, but am nervous when I don't know people very well, so I do find the groups and get togethers daunting, especially at first, until I get to know people well.

We find though, that you don't have to be socialising every day. For instance, we used to attend a fortnightly meeting which had outdoor space and the children would be running around outside together for the whole four hours of the meeting. I'm sure this would be equal to several days of the 'socialising' at school - which in DS' case was mostly nonexistent or negative anyway. After the meeting we might have several days on our own again, before having a playdate with another homeschooling family, or sometimes getting together for an activity (chess, woodwork, book group etc).

I do have to push myself to do things I don't otherwise want to do - I hated the woodwork! I couldn't understand the blueprints and felt a complete idiot all the time having to keep asking another mother for help, I used to dread the sessions because I felt so stupid. We got through it though, and DS knew how much I disliked it yet still went, so I guess it was a lesson in perseverance for him (and me!). Coming up we have to read Animal Farm for the book group, I hated it when I read it twenty-odd years ago so I'm not looking forward to that either

Mostly though, things are great. It's wonderful to have your child around all the time and to watch them learn. My DS can study what he is interested in in much more depth than he would at school, and to do less (or nothing) in areas that don't interest him. In school we found that the teachers seem to be happiest when the child's work is average.

Homeschooling has affected our life in that I think 'learning opportunity' about everything, these days! Our lifestyle hasn't changed much. If you're the kind of parent who looks for learning opportunities all the time anyway, and is always explaining and discussing things with your child (and I'm sure you are) you're halfway there already. With you being so academic Shaun, I'm sure you'd be an excellent homeschooler. Better than me!

"My question for you homeschoolers is this: how has it affected your lifestyle? By lifestyle I'm thinking the friends you hang with, your connection to your community, the ways you spend your free time."

1. Having my children around me all the time has forced me to face character issues that I know I would never have faced had I sent them away. While it's not always comfortable, I consider this a positive, divine-orchestrated means of spiritual growth. Not only are my children being trained; so am I!

2. We mostly hang out with other homeschooling families. I have no problem hanging out with traditional-schooling families, but obviously we know best those with whom we do the most. If the kids were in school, it'd naturally be the reverse. Most of the families in our church homeschool, and they have great kids. I have yet to encounter a catty mom in our homeschool group; they are a deeply sympathetic support network (but then, I'm a Christian and so are they, even if not of the same denomination, so we have a lot in common).

3. We don't get out much, and I'm perfectly happy that way. And so are the children.

a) Where one goes, we all go (usually). So I can't see signing three or four different ages up for sports teams; that makes for an impossible schedule. If one of my kids really wants to do something and asks specifically, I'm more than open to it. They'll just have to take turns.

b) I'm working afternoons temporarily, so that cuts a big hunk out of our week already.

c) Gas prices currently prevent my traveling very far for activities.

d) We already do a history co-op once a week (with three other families) and occasionally get to P.E. co-op when we can afford it. We go to church on Sundays. (EDIT: I should add that I have a friend--homeschooler--who takes my two older girls to Awana with her children on Sunday nights, and they *love* it.)

We need all the down time we can get. I feel the children are healthier, get more exercise and sunshine, get sufficient rest, have time to exercise their imaginations, see their Daddy more, and are generally more secure than they would be living in the van. Furthermore, plenty of home time allows me relaxed time to teach them things like: how to do laundry, how to cook, how to sweep floors--you know, basic life skills that a lot of "institutionalized" kids miss out on until necessity forces it when they're out on their own.

4) I'm happiest when I am homemaking and meeting the needs of my family. I find it personally fulfilling. I guess I don't need a lot of "me" time, or I find ways of carving it out. I guess the time I spend on the computer writing, thinking, planning, researching homeschooling, or reading blogs (or reading books away from the machine), is my "me" time. I do like to live "inside my head" and alone time helps me sort out my otherwise confused thoughts. The time I spend at work is my boss's time, although it's a break from home (but it is time spent away from the children that I regret). DH and I often talk late at night, or watch movies together. That pretty much constitutes our "we" time, although that will increase as the children get older. I look forward to being a crazy-in-love old married couple when they're all grown and flown and I've worked myself out of my job! My goal is to work toward deeper intimacy with my DH in the meantime. We find odd moments other than after child-bedtime to be together. A lock on the door is worth its weight in gold.

5) Connection with community comes through: Our church; DH's current and former job; my current job; our homeschool group; and friends from playgroup, library story-time, and other venues that I have made over the years. We also visit local festivals and events from time to time (like the Loch Hartwell games, that was fun! or the fall festivals in surrounding communities).

Things I love about homeschooling:

Teaching my children to read. That is a big thrill. Learning history right along with them. Reading aloud to them--that's a biggie. I love literature and I love sharing it with them. Having an instant bond with other homeschooling moms. Poring over catalogs, dreaming and planning. When we have a great day and the kids enjoy my lesson plan or game. Finding resources in unusual places. Being creative; room to change what we're doing if we need to, even right on the spot. Enjoying life all together, especially now that Dad is around to enjoy it with us.

The one thing I don't like about homeschooling is facing doubt periodically. I think all homeschool parents go through that, from what I read. I don't face much criticism though, only self-doubt, so I'm better off than most.