Some may say you dote on your family. You have empathy for your spouse and children in abundance -- meaning you care and relate to all of their pains. You understand what to do when they're distressed and have the patience to do it.
New mothers often feel torn between wanting to be there for others and just getting through the day. "When I speak with mothers who work, they all say they're struggling. There's a lot of pressure to be beautiful, to take care of the family, to have the career together, and still have time to meet girlfriends for coffee in the afternoon," says Susanne Biro, a professional coach based in Vancouver B.C. who specializes in career development. "That's pressure to have it all."
On a good week, you could have it all. But maybe the baby starts teething and keeping you up at ugly hours. Perhaps your spouse is away on business or falls sick. Maybe there's work being done on the house or the in-laws are in town for a visit. You know these drills. Those are the not-so-smooth times when being superwoman isn't in the cards. And when you're stretched thin, empathy for others is not in large supply. Suddenly a girlfriend who just wants some time with you is at best an added burden, at worst an added pain.
It's at times like these that you have to decide that being your best actually means slowing down. By taking a breath, you'll be able to stay organized so that your valuable time and invaluable energy is used efficiently. Like this:
- Take inventory: You'll feel less stretched and stressed if you can see (in print, on a list) the as-usual daily details in the same light as any new demands.
- Open your schedule: As busy as you are, there are tiny pockets of time to utilize, like during the commute or on line at the grocery store -- a "great" time to call a friend for a quick "I'm thinking of you call".
- Reshuffle low priority chores: Your week became hectic, so the dry cleaning can wait! Ditto for easy-to-reschedule appointments.
- Decide what you can delegate: Who are the go-to people in your life? Time to ask for their help. If it's one errand, one afternoon of sitting, it "will" make a difference.
- Take care of mom: You can't do anyone -- especially yourself -- any good if you forget to recharge your battery. A bath after the baby is down for the night? A lunchtime yoga class? Maybe a quiet cup of tea before bed? Simple pleasures are often as satisfying as big ones.
Jodi Bryson, a former magazine editor, is now a freelance writer based in Los Angeles.
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