Kids in Your Bed


Completely You: Care & Connecting: Kids & Family
Carmen Alonso, MD for Completely You

Q: Is it okay for young children to share the bed with their parents?

A: When parents make the decision to share their bed with their child, they must exercise great caution. Due to the rise in SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), The American Academy of Pediatrics Policy urges parents to be aware of the suffocation risks for their baby. Any bed that an infant sleeps in should be firm and there should be no excess blankets or pillows. As one might expect, water beds are hazardous for infants and should be avoided. In addition, if either parent has been drinking or using drugs that may affect the depth of their sleep, children should not be allowed in the bed.

That said, sharing a bed with a child certainly has its luxuries, especially for a breastfeeding mother. When the baby is right there, there is no need to get out of bed, and new mothers can hopefully get an increased amount of much-needed sleep.

Even after the breastfeeding stage, it's a reality that many toddlers continue to visit their parents' bed at least once a week. This could be due to nightmares or separation anxiety. Normally, this tendency levels off at around the age of four.

Carmen Alonso, MD, is Director of Residency Training for the Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine. In addition, Dr. Alonso is a board certified pediatrician and is certified by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology, Inc. in child psychiatry.



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Guest's picture

Family Bed

Submitted by Guest (not verified) on Fri, 03/21/2008 - 9:10pm.

My husband and I have two children, a girl 3 yrs old and our son who is 6 months old. They BOTH sleep with us. While it is crowded it has been great! Being a breastfeeding mom it is nice to have baby right there to nurse on demand, but it is also a nice bonding time for us. The kids definitely sleep better, feel more secure and we like the closeness. Dont let anyone talk you out of giving it a try...while it may not be for everyone it definitely worked for us.

jennye's picture

My youngest (and fourth)

Submitted by jennye on Sat, 03/22/2008 - 5:56am.

My youngest (and fourth) child is a snuggler. I didn't believe in the family bed with my first two. My third child slept in his own room until he got a big boy bed, then decided to get out any chance he could get and continued til age three. But my fourth. He demanded to be in my bed while still in the hospital. He refused to sleep in the basinet the hospital used and nearly every night of his 2 1/2 year life has been at my side. I quit breastfeeding a year ago. He loves to snuggle. He loves to snake his arm under my neck and HOLD me! It's too funny!

But now I am trying to get him to sleep in his own bed. I wish he would snuggle with his brother or sisters the way he does with me or my DH.

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