Family Values

o matter which side you are on in the political sphere you have been bombarded with the debate about family values. Everyone does seem to agree on a few salient points, no matter if they stand under the elephant or donkey banner. Kids and parents should spend time together. Family meals are important to kids' development. And the old kicker "In the past everything was better."

Now this extends to food in an obvious way. Someone has to cook the family meals. Chances are if you are reading this you are that chef. Even those who slave away in the kitchen probably entertain the fantasy that they should produce a three course meal each night--and in a perfect world you'd make dessert too.
Just like thinking we should all look like supermodels, this is unrealistic, as is the belief that in the past women did all of this and changed into nice clothes for when their honeys came home from work and had the children cleaned up and shining for daddy.

I needn't describe to you what I look like or what my kids look like at this moment. You know. You look like this too. And "this" is not in the same ballpark as a supermodel.

So let us set realistic goals for ourselves. No point at all buying into the role of victim in the debate over family values. We are all spread thinly over a the large area that we call a life. Yeah, the homemaker should do this and that. Blah blah blah. Don't start squirming in your chair making up excuses. Do not apologize for your life. Figure out your own personal family values and then pursue them. Nothing makes one feel more accomplished than trying hard.

What are these realistic goals? As my expertise lies in the realm of cooking I will share with you my goals. Do not believe for a moment that I expect you to agree. It is an educational experience only.
Having said that, I think kids and grown-ups should eat as much home cooked food as possible accented with take out pizza and sushi when necessary. I think this homemade food needs to taste good. This yummy homemade food should not make a basket case of the cook or her children. Finally dessert in moderation is necessary to the continuation of civilization. Without it we would cease to have any organized culture or any way to sublimate our rampaging ids.

Now, along the path to yummy homemade simple food there are perils. The first task is to find a way to have home made food without cooking and its concomitant clean-up being the sole activity in your day. This means a little organization and learning every trick that will help sped you up. Do not read this as "convenience foods." Rather "Cooking Knowledge."

Then there is the problem of what in the world to cook. We will call this the search for your own personal cooking muse. You need to figure out what the stuff is you want to see on your table and get comfortable with it.

Finally there is the little detail of no one really knowing how to cook or bake. This can be likened to Plato's cave analogy. If you did not suffer sleepless nights contemplating this in college I will share with you my kernelized take-away.
There are sad, pathetic creatures (us) who have never seen the sun (real cooking done in home kitchen by real people with any sense of what they are doing and why). All we cave dwellers have seen is the reflection of the sun on the walls of the cave (cookbooks). Or worse yet the reflection of the fire mistaken for the sun (take-out).

Plato leaves you in despair. I will not. Instead I will introduce you to two cookbooks that will help. They may only be reflections but boy is that helpful.

How to Cook Without A Book by Pam Anderson is trite, gimmicky, and created the vision of a well ordered world wherein dinner is on the table in 30-40 minutes and includes a main course, salad, starch and even a cooked vegetable. Yikes.

I was frightened of this scene and felt a bit apprehensive. Anyone who says you can 1) learn to cook and 2) do it so fast you can make four course meals in less than an hour is either a psychopath or a liar. We'd all like to believe it so I kept reading.

Pam Anderson, the author, does have something good to say. She says learn the concept of how to do some task and then apply it to similar things and thus teach yourself to be an intuitive cook. Brava.
Her simple techniques allow for faster cooking with little compromise on taste. You learn fast vegetable preparation, soups, stir-fries, how to sear meat and fish, how to make salad and potatoes and basic grain dishes. Nothing exotic but good plain everyday fare. The food is positively glowing with retro goodness. It reminded me of what an Australian I knew referred to as "meat and two veg." This has appeal.

Anderson's dessert section is abysmal. Ignore it and go out and get the Magnolia Bakery Cookbook by Jennifer Appel and Allysa Torey. This is the cookbook from a bakery in Manhattan's west Village.
I went in there with my brother last month and he had to drag me out by my feet as I clung to the cake stand with the chocolate cake in it. Lucky for him I saw the cookbook in the corner and calmed down. I can buy this book and make these treats. I left like a docile child and even shared my cupcake.

The authors are trying to bring back the desserts that we all thought everyone else was getting at home when we were kids. Brownies, cupcakes, homemade cookies with vanilla and chocolate chips and bits of candy bars. Coconut cake. Gooey, sticky overly-sweet embarrassingly American dessert with no class and a huge sugar wallop. Heaven. Pure heaven.

Besides a little plug to get out and vote in November because if nothing else you are a good example to your kids of political involvement, I will leave you with no shoulds here. You have enough of those.

If you want to sit down at the table with your family without killing yourself and you like to have some intuitive sense of cooking, How to Cook Without A Book will help you, if only by creating a nice vision of cooking possibilities. You will not learn any French patisserie skills from the Magnolia Bakery Cookbook. You will probably learn something about baking, though. You will recreate that sense of olden days fun. It may not have ever really existed the way we all imagine it but hey, that leaves us a lot more room to improvise.

Vote Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Green, write someone in. But don't let the debates about you, that mom of small children in a swing state, influence your life. You just find your own stride and I will support you by helping you stay nourished while you pursue your goals.

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Michelle Auerbach Brode was a professional chef. Now she is much happier cooking at home for her family and talking about food incessantly. If you need to talk to her about food or anything else she can be reached at Michelle.Brode@pobox.com.