Once again, I debate our decision public vs homeschool vs private

Rooney, I am a left-wing spaz mom and I wish you could meet my kids. They are ANYTHING but in a bubble, and we've always homeschooled. I don't believe in over-parenting/over-sheltering/sanitizing life for my kids' protection, and I also believe that for our family any full-time school is not in our best interests. My kids are involved, engaged, aware, and usually quite charming. They get along well with most kids of all ages and most adults. They're polite, interested in the world, and always remarked upon wherever we go as intelligent and friendly. That's not to say they're perfect! But I know Josie would not be as happy and outgoing as she is if she were in a standard school format, forced to conform to a rigid idea of appropriate behavior.

Plus also? No one peeing on her. Don't really care if it sounds elitist, but we have our own dysfunctions to deal with. I don't want to deal with other peoples', thanks.

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

Not all your children have to go to the same school. It's conceivable that you might send the twins to public school and the older two to private, or make a switch from one to the other at the high school level, or whatever. I know plenty of families with multiple kids who do that kind of thing. Sometimes the younger ones like not being in the older ones' shadows, sometimes kids are ready for a change in high school, or whatever.

The autistic/ ADHD kid doesn't have a full-time aide? Sounds like HIS parents need to make some phone calls too. When I was teaching, autistic kids were considered severely disabled enough to get full-time aides.

You may not have been around as I agonized over my DD5s schooling, but I can tell you that I feel for you and I've been there.

My advice is to look at each school individually and not as public vs. private. (Homeschool is a separate issue, though we consider that as well.) It's all about the teacher, the principal, and the kids.

Just as an example. I live in a big city in a blue state, and our public school had a holiday program featuring Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwaanza. (As you might expect, our public schools are racially and culturally diverse, with large immigrant populations in addition to the massive blond blue-eyed "native" Minnesotans and the brown "real native" Minnesotans.) Our principal is a wonderful, caring woman who feels strongly about education for "the whole child." On the flip side, many of our Catholic high schools are basically prep sports factories. And my parish elementary school faces all the same challenges as the public schools in terms of the demographic they serve, only with less staff and less money. Both our parish school (which we reluctantly withdrew from because we felt they couldn't meet some of DD5s "gifted" needs) and our current public school are very family oriented -- the principals of each knew the name of DD5's younger sister and talked about her as a future student and current member of the community.

I understand about the bubble conundrum. My oldest is academically very talented, and while I firmly believe in public education I worry about her education suffering because teachers are dealing with discipline problems and remedial learning. So we keep an eye on it and keep our options open. We're saving for private high school because the public schools here are so huge there's no sense of community, which really helps kids stay involved and out of trouble. Homeschool is always on the table, not as a "last resort" exactly, but more as something we might grow into, depending on the directions all our lives and interests take.

Which is all to say that you should choose the school you like best and have a good gut feeling about -- atmosphere is sooooo much of the experience.

Shaun
"If you jump off the boat, you only rock it once"

Rooney: I'm feeling your pain. I'm a left wing Catholic mommy who has (along with husband's input) always known that I would put my children in a Catholic school. I live in Dallas where the DISD is not doing a very good job. The teachers are underpaid and short-staffed. There are some terrific 'magnet' schools here but I always knew that I wanted my children to go to a 'religious' school. I love the concept of same church, same school, same kids, one big community. Of course, when it came to picking a Catholic school I could have chosen the affluent white school which doesn't require that you live in their parish (only that you tithe to the church in that parish) but instead picked the smaller, much more diverse school. I think (along with lots of other parents in our school) that this is what makes the choice easy for us. The school has a breakdown racially that mirrors Dallas; approximately 48% Caucasian, 24% African-American, 25% Hispanic, and 2% Asian.

Very small classes (17-20 kids per each), two classes per grade (one Pre-K and then Kinder - 8th). And new last year, sixth, seventh, and eighth grade are segregated by sex. All boy or all girl. We are the pilot school in the Diocese for this program. I couldn't be more happy. I'm very active in our school (and also work part-time at the school to help offset the tuition).

I don't think my children are in a "bubble". I think they are getting a diverse education in an excellent school. My 4th grader (as does the majority of his classmates) reads on a 6th grade level and on his recent standardized testing, which takes place at the beginning of the school year so teachers can actually work on problems, he was in the 95% percentile or higher on 5 out of 7 areas. Our school feeds into the all male and all female Catholic high schools here so we perform as well as the more affluent Catholic schools.

I believe that as a mother I have an obligation to give my children the BEST education I can give them. That I have to prepare them for the real world, in this part of the country, means interacting and working with lots of different people. So, we live in a smaller home and drive older cars. We tell our children that a private education is a privilege and that they have to earn it by performing well and that as a family we have to give up certain things (the new car, the bigger house, and any vacation that doesn't involve camping LOL) because their education is our priority.

I would recommend that if you go a religious school that you pick one that shares your faith values. Only about 70% of our students are Catholic and they are required to learn about our faith and attend Mass. Ultimately you have to decide what works best for your child and your family.

I think that the fact that you are agonizing over this decision shows just how much you love your kids and how much you want to make the right decision. Penny Pickle

try..... www.larryelder.com

interesting info.........let us know what you decide!

Jana

who is for some reason singing the theme to The Jeffersons

movin on up......to the top.......to a DE luxe apartment

Before my daughter was school-aged, my intuition favored homeschooling, but because she is an only child and we had few ties in the community, I opted for the public school experience. Kindergarten was good for her and for me. I volunteered in the classroom and got to know all of the children and the teacher fairly well.

The following year, she attended a different school, where she was slated eventually to enter the Gifted Program there (which she did, the following year). The scene changed dramatically. Suddenly there were calls from the principal's office. There were constant reports of physical violence, intimidation and chaos in the classroom. I was working outside of the home at that time and felt powerless to step inside and actively change the situation, and what's more, it was tacitly discouraged by the school staff.

This year, thankfully, she has been in the Gifted room with 13 other children: 10 children in grade 3 and 4 children in grade 2 who learn together. The teacher is brilliant and tuned to the needs of bright and sensitive children. The year started well.

Something hasn't been sitting well, though. The more I think about it, the more I realize that the "something" is that my daughter's formative years are spilling past me as she spends the majority of her waking hours learning *whatever they teach in there* while the things that are important to us as a family take a back seat. I want my daughter to have a solid academic foundation, but more importantly, I want her to have a solid character and a wealth of practical skills that would otherwise be devalued and dismissed in a public school setting.

I want her to know how to comfort the sick and the homebound, to bake, to cook, to sew, to garden, to can, to work in her community, to be rooted and grounded in our faith, to care for younger children, to know and appreciate the plants, birds, sealife and mammals in our area, to reason, to explore and to dream. I am excited about the prospect of volunteering with her in the local food bank's organic garden, at the local soup kitchen and within the local homeschool group. I am excited about being able to watch her learn and thrive on a day-to-day basis, instead of hearing tidbits about foreign activities after the fact. With such a wide swath of knowledge to be explored, evenings and weekends just won't cut it.

I believe my primary role as a mother is to mold my daughter's character and to help her learn how to approach the world from a standpoint of both faith and reason. The public school's primary role is quite different and in many senses is at crosspurposes with my own. For this reason, I believe it is time to say goodbye to public education and hello to "showing a pattern of good works" in "training up" my child.

There are dozens of homeschooling families in the small city where we live and multiple venues who are willing to accomodate us. We won't be hurting for company.

I hope those of you who are on the fence about homeschooling will consider the *VISION* of what is possible for your children, because it is so much greater than the local school's. What greater contribution can we make as parents?

Regards,
Charity

Homeschooling is hard work and that is intimadating to lots of mothers and then they try to make up excuses why they don't do it. Some go so far as to be anti-homeschool to make them feel better about them selves by putting down others. Homeschoolers are smarter and more socially adapted than public school students and this cannot be debated except in your own mind because the facts don't lie. Our kids go on feild trips and meet other people all the time. Our 7yr old daughter is on 3rd grade level and our 5 yr old is on first grade level. All of our friends in our community who homeschool have very plesant and bright kids that are loved and know how to appriciate and love others.

I feel so sorry for those people that have to send their kids to public school because of finances or sheer laziness.

As you can see by my writting my kids will be way smarter than me .. Thank god my wife who is a state certified teacher in 3 subjects and taught in the public school system for ten years in the homeschool boss and not me.

I tried to derail my wife's dream of homeschooling early on but I am so glad she is strong enough and smart enough to bring her dream of having a better life for our kids come to reality.

Public schools are failing miseribly and everybody knows it, they just keep dumbing down the education. As far as socal skills I have met very few public school students that have anything other than disfunctional attitudes towards every part of life. I wonder why that is??

AAAA... Now I feel better too.

Thanks all

I am struggling with our decision to send our twins to a Catholic school. The admin. hired a middle school teacher to teach Kindergarten. I am appalled at the lack of primary grade instruction. I am a former K teacher so you can imagine how much I was looking forward to this school year. I have tried to be patient and take a wait and see approach but here we are Oct. 15th and nothing.
I have toured other Catholic schools and am underwhelmed and the local public school is not an option.
We get ditto after ditto-no centers-no incentives for good behavior-no small group instruction.
What to do?

I myself am about to enter into my freshman year of high school. I have seen the endless flaws of the public school system from a front row seat. My early years of school were great, no complaints there. Of course it didn't last. Middle school was horrible for me. Not because of violence or the trouble stirring boys, but because of teachers that were seemingly unwilling to take time to teach the classes correctly. There were teachers that would give up thier off-period to help us with our lessons and there were those who quite honestly didnt care. I can actually quote a teacher saying "I don't care if you learn anything or not. I get paid anyway." I was shocked to hear this at first, but now it seems to be a simple fact of life. You may be suprised to hear that my school is actually considered the best public school in the state. Unfortunately, my school seems more concerned over who is wearing a belt or not. I'm hoping that the high school will be much better. If I find that it is the same old story, I will be joining the homeschooling community very soon, if my parents aproove.

I hope that no one is offended by this comment! I was definitely not trying to bash teachers, considering my own sister is a teacher herself. I am simply posting my opinions.