TNH the book

Lynn, that is fantastic - best of luck!

And what Jana said! Wow, you said that really well Jana!

I guess just more about homemaking being really the ultimate in feminism - choosing what makes you happy if you can. Not feeling guilty about it.

Andrea

I always knew I would stay home to raise my children because it is one of my core values and beliefs-and always has been-to raise my own children the way I was raised, by an at-home mother. I fundamentally believe that no-one else can raise your children the way you want them to be raised; only you can do that.

If I were unable to have children, I would probably be working outside the home. Since I do have a child, the only "money-making" work I'll even consider is work I can do at home, like you do, Lynn. I firmly believe in the value of working-at-home-mommies. Providing for the family while raising the family is the best of both worlds, but only if it works for you and your situation.

I believe that children need parents at home. No matter how excellent the child care facility, no matter how great the baby sitter, your child is better off with you.

As for homemaking without children, that’s just as legitimate! Creating a home that nurtures you and your family is reason enough, whether your family is all adults or whether there are children in the mix.

So what I'd like to see, I think, is not just another set of justifications for staying at home instead of working outside the home (even though the justifications are valid and help us defend our choices to others, that's not why we do it). I like to see a real, compelling case about how staying at home and making a home is a "calling" and is in and of itself one of the most noble and profound ways to contribute to society.

I'd also like to see a fleshing out of the Domestic Renaissance aspect. I think there's some interesting, nay, fascinating stuff in that.

On a personal note, homemaking is for me a journey I'm on of many paths. One path is a healing one, one is a path of creativity, one is a path of ingenuity, another is a path of discovery, anther is a path of self-reliance and self-sufficiency, and so on. For me it has become a deeply personal experience of self-discovery and self-realization. On one level, it's all about me, on a another level, it's all about my family, on anther level it's all about my community, etc. I tend to see it, when I look, as a whole gestalt thing. Homemaking is an integral part of my moral/ethical, spiritual, and political belief system, it's a part of me.
______

May The Hair On Your Toes Never Fall Out

--Traditional Hobbit Blessing

Good For You!

How about something about the value of homemaking, for the individual, the family, and society?

Just a thought, but it's at the forfront of my mind because of a conversation my priest frind and I just had. We were talking about families, (he was picking my brain in preparation for a homily on Holy Family Sunday), and we were talking about how the family seens sometimes lately to be under assult. The family in so many ways is the cornerstone of life and more and more it seems society is conspiring in many ways to tear apart the strength and power families have.

I don't know, it's just something to ponder. As I think about it more, it seems I can come up with even more ways society is trying to replace the family with less potent things, and it piques my mamma lion feelings about wanting to protect my little family from this potentially dangerous erosion. How are Homemakers coping in this day and age? How is it different for us? What are the "stages" of Homemaking? How does it change as a family changes?

Anyway...just brainstorming here.

Best of luck Lynn! Keep us posted!
-Jo

What I'd like to see is a book that encourages women (& society) in feeling it is okay to choose to stay home and raise their family. I think more women would choose that avenue if there wasn't so much pressure to do otherwise.

I'll probably be tarred and feathered for even saying this, but I think in our fight for equality in all things, we've taken it one step too far, resulting in the expectation that women "should" contribute to the household with earning power in order to keep up (or gain) the highest standard of living possible.. .that somehow our earning power is more important than how our children are raised. We now have a generation of men whose moms worked outside the home, which leads them to expect the same from their wives. . .in-laws thinking "I did it, "she should too."

Perhaps showing the benefits of staying home, showing that more isn't always better, would help folks realize that there are things more important than standard of living and stuff. . .namely how your children turn out.

That staying home isn't for everyone but its okay if that is your choice. You can raise good kids even if both parents are working. . .its all about individual situations and choices. For some folks it may work better for Dad to stay home with the kids instead of Mom.

Don't think that because a parent is home all day with their kids that they are a couch potato. Encourage SAHM's to keep involved in the community and society and to stay interesting. Have more to discuss than dirty diapers and breastfeeding. Read, get involved in the community, start a SAHM's group, if you homeschool join up with other homeschooling parents and "teach the group" on alternate days, etc.

I would like to see a book that discusses the decision making, encourages acceptance, shows how to live with less and be happy with that decision and the great benefits to family and especially children.

What Angel said is the most important thing I've learned from the site. And it's important for two reasons:

1. It changes the way I see the world: it's hard to think red/blue, liberal/conservative, Donkey/Elephant when here we are all talking family, community, nurturing, priorities. It's not so much that I say, "Hey, the other side isn't all that bad," but that I remember, "Hey, this whole culture war, us vs. them thing is a bunch of manufactured BS that sells advertisements. We're on the same side."

2. It changed the way I see myself: I could never have seen myself as a homemaker, because I had such a limited notion of what that was.

I guess I'd hope a TNH book would reflect that inclusiveness and steer clear of being another "look, liberals can be SAHMs too!" book. I respect what HipMama has tried to do in some aspects, but inclusiveness has not been its strong point.

I think the site is about support when it sometimes seems that you're holding down a lonely little outpost in an indifferent culture. I've read the manifesto, and I like it, but I don't come back to read the manifesto every day. I come back to reaffirm that I'm on the right track and help others when I can. Maybe those who post less frequently see it differently -- I don't have a circle of righteous babes here in town who knit, quilt, or just bitch together on a regular basis, so I need the support! Somehow my TNH: The Book would get that across, would help create some sense of a supportive community.

I love the idea of little stories from homemakers of all types. I envision little 1/2 page boxes with anecotes from the trenches: What My In-Laws Said About Staying Home, Telling My Boss I Wouldn't Be Coming Back, My First Disastrous MOMS Group Meeting, Being the Only SAH Dad on the Block, Finally Figuring Out Making Regular Meals, The Day I Knew I'd Always Be Home, Choosing to Bring Grandma to Our House, The SAH Wife at a Cocktail Party.

And I so agree with what Debbie says -- it's got to be real. It's really irritating (and discouraging) to read those Mothering-style stories about fabulous Earth Mommies who get an A+ in Attachment Parenting, grow their own organic veggies, homeschool their loving prodigies, and then kick back with their best soul sisters in a women's drumming circle. Obviously those are wonderful things to do, but if the revolution's gonna happen it's gotta start where we are, and most of us aren't there. Maybe it's just me, but some days reading Mothering makes me wanna run out and dump a truckload of Pampers in the local landfill while the kids sit in front of commercials for sugar cereal and half-naked teen pop star dolls and the baby drinks Chocolate Yoohoo. (And this from a woman who cloth diapered and breastfeeds for years, while making homemade babyfood from organic veggies.)

Just a few more random thoughts!

Shaun