Why Do Squirrels Hate America?
So I was minding my own business puttering around the living room. I looked out the window and saw a big fat squirrel hanging out on the porch wisteria trellis. Oh how cute, how charming, what a fat rascal. Then I noticed he was trying to pull apart the American flag furled in the corner of the porch. He's tugging! He's chewing! He's using squirrel muscles he didn't know he had! I will say this for Elmer's Flag and Banner, they make sturdy flags.
I banged on the window. Hey you! Stop chewing on my flag! That thing cost $35! He regarded me with beady black eyes and had another good tug. I flew out the front door to bring my poor flag back inside. He scrambled up the trellis and chattered "The Internationale" in squirrel, angrily pumping a tiny fist.
I mean, I'm sure he was just trying to line his nest for the winter and this looked bright and red and cozy. Maybe it matched his couch. The Supreme Court would probably throw out a case against someone lining their nest with the American flag. But I I still sent Kaila Dog out into the back yard with orders to hunt down all unpatriotic squirrels.
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Squirrels glaore!
One of the things I missed most when we moved was that we didn't have a yard-full of bushy-tailed squirrels to watch. I've finally coaxed one furry little friend to make almost daily jaunts to my yard, but he doesn't "live" here. I buy unsatled crakers to put out for him....and shell nuts for him too!
I detest birds of any sort, so refuse to put up a squirrel feeder as it attracts nasty winged creatures! I used to buy dried corn-on-the-cob, but that drew blackbirds (the worst
) and finally just learned to watch for the furry little black guys to come around!
Some decades ago, there were black squirrels brought to Kent State University (just 5 miles-or-so from here). They were very productive...or should I say reproductive?
, and now most of Portage County is populated with black squirrels....not grey....solid black! KSU actually has a Black Squirrel Festival every year.
Personally, I'd probably buy him his own flag!
Blessings,
Lenora
Wow, odd
I try to attract birds and get annoyed with squirrels thieving my bird feeder! I never heard of anyone detesting birds. Squirrels, on the other hand...well, after all, they are rodents. They're so plentiful around here people make Brunswick stew out of them. I have to admit, my DH has used them for target practice. Eep!
Black squirrels? I've never s
Black squirrels? I've never seen a black squirrel. We have grays and fox squirrels. . .even the occasional flying squirrel, but haven't seen any black ones.
They are cute and pleasant to watch, but just a word of caution. . .we had cable guy that used to work next door to where I was employed. He was working on an above ground cable that a squirrel obviously considered "his" property. While the guy was occupied, the squirrel ran onto the cable and attacked, giving his some nasty bites in the face/neck area. It was during mating season so that may have had something to do with it, but they can be ornery little things.
black squirrels
They are a northern phenomenon. I have never seen one south of New York City.
Enter the white squirrel
I can personally vouch for the bona fides of Marionville, MO's claim to be The Home of the White Squirrel. I lived five miles southwest of the town for two years. They're a little nutty about their squirrels there. If you set your dog on one, you'd be run out of town with torches and pitchforks. I can think of a couple of residents that would have made some sqirrel sized flags and laid them around for them to take home...
The linked article is hilarious and vintage Ozark Highlands. I almost got nostalgic but then I remembered the humidity and didn't. It's the people I miss, really, not the place.
p.s.: Lynn, they hate America because they hate our freedom.
______
May The Hair On Your Toes Never Fall Out
--Traditional Hobbit Blessing
Welfare squirrels
The galling thing is, Miss Andrea down the street has these squirrels on handouts! Yes, welfare squirrels who then turn around and desecrate my flag! I told John I bet those little guys taste pretty good what with all the peanuts she feeds em...
Lynn Siprelle, Editor
If you're gonna kill em...
...then ya has to eat em!
It's only fair, one of those circle of life things...
Lynn Siprelle, Editor
black squirrel
I just saw one in my backyard in Winthrop, Ma. I'm just NE of Logan airport. I couldn't believe my eyes. It will be back cause I throw peanuts out and I'll get a picture of it with the digital camera once my daughter wakes up so I can find the damn camera---lol
Yup,
We have a squirrel welfare program in our neighboorhood, too. DD and I just found a bunch of empty peanut shells under our apple tree in the back yard. Someone 'round here is feeding them. I can't say if they're vacuuming the trees for the little rodents like your neighboor does but you never know.
______
May The Hair On Your Toes Never Fall Out
--Traditional Hobbit Blessing
squirrel season
In Michigan, there is a short squirrel-hunting season. Like deer. Otherwise it's poaching.
Or....
Give 'em to the dog. That way someone is still eating them!
We have prairie dog towns on our ranch. Hundreds of the little boogers, grass is very sparse in their towns. We target practice on them. But I guess we are feeding the coyotes and hawks, so the circle of life still stands.
Sorry, but
I don't do squirrel. Deer, yes. Bullhead, catfish, trout, definitely. Turkey, duck, etc., bring 'em on! Squirrel, I will not cook. I'm not keen on eating anything with paws. But I know people who do eat 'em, and if they served me squirrel stew, I'd probably try it out of politeness.
Guess what? Somebody offered to get us a deer last night! I am excited about that.
it's hi-larious
I'll be talking with someone on the phone in the summer with the windows open and they'll say, what's that noise? oh, that's just my neighbor vacuuming her tree...
Lynn Siprelle, Editor
Lucky you!
John doesn't like venison or I'd send him out every year to bag us one.
Lynn Siprelle, Editor
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