How do you make ends meet?

In my longwindedness, I forgot to answer the pragmatic part of the question!

We:
*don't have cable TV or satellite, only 'free' TV
*Buy all appliances secondhand or at the end of the season (we do have a big TV, but that's because Steve bought the floor model at the store when he found out that particular line had been discontinued--and they threw in the TV stand that came with it!)
*Learned how to bargain or walk.
*Always buy clothes and short-life appliances at thrift stores, garage sales, or from friends.
*Swap needed items with friends (I do this a lot with kids' clothing, but also maternity stuff and some household goods.)
*Eat meat only 2-3 times a week instead of every day (you wouldn't believe how dramatically that cut our grocery bill)
*Comparison shop, so that you know when a bulk purchase is worth it, and when it's not.
*Cash only purchases as much as possible (that includes getting rid of debit cards! Less convenient, but reminds you that you're spending real $$)
*Taking advantage of 'free' or low cost resources in the community. For example, the local PBS station shows a classic movie every saturday night. Steve and I cuddle up to this after we get the kids to bed, instead of renting a video. We are avid users of the city's parks and rec department. I plan on organizing a parents' co-op preschool instead of paying $$ to send my kids to one. There are a ton of nature programs offered free or for a couple of dollars locally that I can't wait to take the kids to (salmon runs, playing with the animals at the working farm park, the farming community open house weekend, ect.)
*I exclusively breastfeed all babes until they can eat what we already have (ground up and/or pureed, of course!), and we cloth diaper using prefolds and basic covers.

Obviously, these things won't work for everyone. I don't suffer very much from the 'gottahaves' (Maybe because I rarely watch TV and if I do most of the time it's relatively commercial-free PBS, and I don't read glossy magazines?), so this is natural and very easy for me. I also grew up in a home where image was everything (including having the latest and greatest things) to the detriment of love and acceptance, so I tend to be anti-consumer culture by nature.

I think it would be very hard to 'unplug' yourself from wanting, if it's already got a hold on you. I have no real idea how to do that.

We are also a SAH family by choice--Steve and I lived frugally when we were both working, so that we could all stay home for the first three years of the kids' lives. We don't live any differently now than we did then, so no great sacrifies or adjustments. We have no debt (we do have a mortgage, but also resources to pay it off immediately--when we bought the house rates were so low, we figured it'd be nice to have some more liquid cash in the meantime), we have newish cars (2000 and 2003) but paid cash for them. So we're not having to backtrack to make ends meet--which definitely makes us rare from what I've observed. However, the vast majority of dual income people that I know that have kids spend almost all the second income on childcare and related expenses, so in reality their day to day living is on one income too.
-Kitty, mama to Fiona, Thomas, and Dylan.

DH and I laugh so often because people just don't understand how we can be happy with:

An '81 pickup and a new-to-us 2002 van that we only got after driving the station wagon for 8 years and 150,000 miles

CBS and NBC only on our TV-Who has time?

A house we built ourselves, a bit at a time as we could afford it. We lived for 18 months with just a woodburning stove (no furnace), 3 years with a tiny "porch" made of building scraps, 5 years with just a bathtub (a $10 clawfoot that used to be a water trough for cows) and no shower, 8 years with just plywood on the floor, and an unfinished cellar/upstairs still 10 years later.

Really ugly secondhand furniture for 17 years-but it was really cheap ($250 for the 5 piece set), it worked, and we didn't get upset when the kids inevitably stained it.

Family vacations that involve tents and cooking over a campfire.

Don't have any cell phones.

A 6 year old, painfully slow computer with no CD burner-gasp!

Anything we can buy used, we do.

A very modest video collection. We rent first and only buy stuff we will watch again and again.

The great thing about this is that we will have the house totally payed off before age 40, and then we will be completely out of debt.

I say-if it works, use it until it dies. Many friends and especially a few relatives think we are crazy. They have new vehicles every two years, a motorcycle, airplane, inground pool, resort vacations every year, the newest technology as it comes out....but they also are so trapped by their payments. They have no freedom, and won't until well into their 60s. Talk about stress!

You've gotten alot of ideas so far! I have to admit that we really didn't go down as far as standard of living when I quit my job when I had my first baby 6 1/2 years ago. In fact, we probably went up. At the same time I quit, DH and I started our own farming operation, which has brought in more than what we both made before. But it's a family business. One I can do with all the kids right next to me.

We don't eat out as often (oops, except 3 times this week! Yikes! But it's been a strange week). I used to eat lunch out when I worked everyday (but I got some meals free because I would go to the restaurant that my 2nd job was at. LOL!).

I'm not sure about your cable bill, but we have satelite, and it's just about $45/month. No cable available here, and we can barely get in the "free" channels. When we rent movies, it's usually the pay-per-views. About the same price as the video store, and you don't have to worry about late fees. We also tape every movie we rent. If it sucked, we can tape over it. If we want to watch it again, we just pop it in.

If you have the space and funds, buy a cow! LOL!! Ok, if you really have a lot of space, you can raise one on your own, great 4-H project for the kids. But, if the space you have is a chest freezer, see if you have a local farmer that will sell you 1/2 a beef or something like that. I'm a carnivore (hey, I farm and ranch, I have to be! ), and beef, or meat of some sort, like deer, chicken, pork, antelope, is a must every night. And there is nothing like home raised meat.

Also, if you have the space and the means, buy gas in bulk. We have a 300 gallon overhead tank that is provided by the company we buy our gas from. I use this for the lawnmower, one of the pickups, and other stuff that uses gasoline. We also have an 8,000 gallon tank for diesel, which we buy by the tanker load. But buying it in that much bulk, we get it for about .60 cents or so per gallon (depending on the market). Now, I'm sure you don't have space for THAT big a tank, but if you can swing buying bulk for the smaller one, it may help. Oh, you have to have a bulk fuel permit, which is, I think, $30/year.

Ok, these may be unrealistic if your a city gal. LOL! Other ways I save,

*use the library, not Amazon.com. When your local library has a Friends of the Library book sale, then stock up! My MIL bought a boxful of childrens books for about $10 .

*limit your trips shopping, or in my case, to town. I usually try to go to town 2 times a week, max. When town is 26 miles away, and often I have to go on to the next town for other stuff, it really eats into the fuel.

*stick to your list! Don't impulse buy! I spend about $300 or so a month on groceries for my family of 5. That's all at Walmart, so it's not just groceries, but diapers, shampoo, etc.

*Cloth diapers are great and can save you money in the long run. But I got lazy and sick of them, so I wussed out and just buy the cheap disposables again. But they did help when I used them.

*Don't buy stuff to snack on, it's bad for the wallet and bad for your waistline! I don't even go down the snack aisle at all!

*can you survive with what you have? My computer is 6 years old, though I did add a burner three years ago (needed it to back up pictures from the digital camera that was a gift. I could never justify buying it myself!). I would love a new one, but hoping this one will hang on another year.

*if you use a digital camera, don't worry about printing the pictures out unless you really need a hard print now. Save the, burn a CD of them, whatever, but until you need a hard print, don't bother spending the money on it, then having to store it til you do something with it.

*clothes. Well, I bought quite a few this last year. But it was the first time I really needed anything. All I usually needed were jeans and t-shirts. But in the past year, we have attended church regularly and I've been subbing some at the school, I needed some nicer stuff. I should be set now for years to come!

*drive your car til it can't take no more! LOL! a year and a half ago, DH's truck was fixing to blow the trannie. I was pg with #3, so I gave him my supercab pickup and I got my very first new one, a Crew Cab (4 door) F-250 powerstroke. I got an excellent deal on it. Bought it in August, which is when the new year models are starting to come in and they really want to get rid of the current years stock. I got about $8,000 off, and still got my diesel engine, leather seats, and tons of extras. DH's is now paid off, so we only have one payment, which is very nice (and it's a tax write-off, since I do some farm-work with it, like running around for parts!)

*Need a new place? Check the foreclosures! We bought our ranch 2 years ago at a consignment auction on the courthouse steps. 1,200 acres, 2 houses, barns and pens, for $176,000. Of course, the cost of land and cost of living is very cheap here anyway. And it ain't as pretty as your PA. But it's home now!

*cheap family vacations. Sure, we would love to go to Disneyworld or a cruise! Heck, I'm still waiting on my honeymoon after 9 years! LOL! But we have a camper we bought real cheap (an 84 model, for $4,000), and we take it to the lake, mountains, or to visit other family. No hotel costs, no eating out costs, and you can park the thing for free at a rest area or Walmart (they love it!), or stay real cheap at a state park (you don't need a camper for this, a tent will do if you like that). The inlaws have one too, and they have a boat, so lake trips are a blast. All we need is each others company to have a real good time! Who needs Mickey Mouse!?

*have an itch to remodel? A can of paint is the cheapest way to redecorate.

Well, I'm out of ideas. Some of these may not help much, but it's worked great for me!

OK, so I'm supposed to be sleeping due to a cold, but oh, well. I'll write in anyway, because I usually can't resist. First of all, we are graduate students, and there are a lot of perks to that, including that the school upgrades our technology for us, and provides my husband with a laptop so he can work efficiently where-ever he is. I suppose I shouldn't say WE are students--yet. I want to be, but have to take the GMAT and get some work experience, which will be working online for MIL in her handcream business. But, anyhow, on to what we do to keep me home when I'm NOT a student!
*No T.V. We have a small one that grandma gave us, which we use for a video now and then, but really when?
*Less meat, unless we find a nice farmer. DH's dad owns a dairy, so sometimes we can buy a 1/2 beef from him, otherwise it's TVP and legumes.
*I buy books to teach my children from at thrift stores, and I'm also considering buying Accelerated Achievement. It's a K-12 homeschooling set for $99, but really it's just a bunch of good old books compiled on a CD. We'll see.
*Shop sales.
*We bought our home in an up-and-coming neighborhood. In otherwords, the area was a dump, but we are getting involved to help make it better and it has improved tremendously!!
*Play outside!!
*Cloth diapers. Even if you buy ones that are a bit nicer, you're doing better than disposables--especially if you have my kids, since they never got into the Large size, maxed out at Med, then potty trained!
*Babysit swap. We have a blast with the neighbor kids here, and a better time when we get to go on a date for free!
*Dress classic. Really. I have people compliment me on clothes I bought over 6 years ago, because I buy classic styles that will last, rather than trendy. I try to buy high quality, and often can do that successfully at a thrift store. I once heard someone say they prefer thrift store clothes because you can see how they've worn.

There are many areas where we cut back on spending. First, when I purchase meat, I watch for meat sales. When I do purchase meat, I purchase enough for a few dinners. For example, a roast is good for one dinner. Then a few days later, the leftovers can be transformed into beef stroganof. Even chicken, I prefer to purchase a whole roasting chicken. We have roasted chicken one night. From the left overs, I make chicken salad for lunches and chicken and biscuits for another meal. This involves meal planning as well as watching the sale ads. Myself, I enjoy baking. We were always buying the multigrain breads. Once I realized that a bag of whole wheat flour was similar in cost to one of those loaves of bread, I went back to baking my own bread. A wonderful cookbook I picked up years ago is called Whole Foods for the Whole Family sold by the Le Leche League. It has wonderful recipes on how to make many items from scratch. The best part is that one is able to make food that is wholesome and does not have any preservatives and additives. I have even found recipes to make treats and meals for my pets who are a very important part of our household. Actually, they prefer many of the things I make for them over the store bought items.
As for household and clothing shopping, many items I can find at the local thrift stores. Yes, you have to look the items over but how nice it is when you can give new life to something that was discarded. Plus, many of the clothing items and household items are gently used and from the big name stores. For example, I was able to find some very nice draperies for our living room, dining room and bedrooms. Of course, I added some valances and tie backs to personalize the items to our household.
New car...no! We have the same car we purchased in 2001. We take very good care of it ensuring that it receives is proper maintenance. Actually, when it does receive proper maintenance in a timely manner, the car does better with gas mileage.
Additionally, I have many of the preferred shoppers cards from various stores. I clip coupons and then compare the brand name items to the store brand items. Sometimes, the store brand is as good as the name brand. Though, I can often get the brand name item for a price less than the store brand item by watching the sale ads and using the coupons.
Basically, I look at money management as part of my household job. You have to figure out what items you might sacrifice a little on and what items would make you truly unhappy to do without. Then again, happiness comes from within oneself not from a product one purchases. Many items might be good to place on your Christmas list such as cologne, bath salts, kitchen items or even clothing. Or, simply ask for a gift card and then watch the sales after Christmas. For me, it is somewhat of a thrill to be able to get the most for my money.
GayHomemaker