"Alternative" treatments for PPD?

I struggle off and on w/ atypical depression. I'm also one of those who has been doing the whole pregnancy, nursing cycle for the last 10 yrs so it's hard to say what is PPD and what's not .

I know that one of our local hospital offers a post-partum support group for the talk therapy, though i haven't attended it -- you might call hospital social workers and see if something like that is available.

There are also quite a few nutritional deficiencies (as you mentioned) that can lead to or aggravate depression. For me the biggest key seems to be fish oil in quite high doses. It has been a life saver through this pregnancy in a variety of ways -- i will see how it holds up afterwards. I have found this site http://krispin.com to be quite a good primer in sorting through some of the nutritional issues and i plan on ordering her workbook soon (i wish i had the $$$ for a consult!)

i hope that you find something that works for you!

Kitty you must be an angel to have cracked this open....I cant tell you how many times over the last weeks I have wanted to post to reach out to say something anything to my friends here at TNH.I guess I havent mainly out of embarassment that Im not doing well.I am suffering from what I think is severe post partum depression.I cant take the standard anti depressants for it beccause I suffer from manic depression wich is agrrivated by drugs like zoloft and paxil are not an option.Traditonal manic depressive therapy meds dont work I have had the same bad reaction with all of them it effects my blood pressure even in low dosages.So meds at this point arent really an option the best I could do would be sedatives wich wouldnt be a big difference from where I am now.
It all stared so subtle.I was just tired.I thought its beccause I have 4 kids.Then I felt alone and down.I thought standard baby blues.Then Im sleeping till noon.The house is getting messier by the day.Im a wreck.Im yelling at the kids I hate my husband for not doing more he hates me for not doing anything I need to be save for nursing and diapering Nesta.I dont want my husband to touch me.I avoid looking in the mirrors that are all through my house.Im not taking care of myself even.No regular showers ect...If I manage to crawl out of bed and do one thing its an accomplishment.I see doom in every corner.Im constantly afriad something horrid is going to happen to my children.The recent flu deaths and the fact they have all had non stop colds and stuff hasnt helped.My husband gets angry beccause I have to send him to check them every half hour just to feel peace.I franticly need them to be checked but Im just terrified to walk down the hall and do it myself in case something is wrong.If he wont do it though the fear builds until I force myself to do it.When I hold the baby I see doom in everything.The past few days the anxiety has gotten to an all time low and I cant even hold the baby sometimes wich makes my husband even angrier that he has to do it.Our budget is strained beccause I never feel up to dishes and cooking so our wallets are empty and the trash is full of fast food wrappers.Last night I was reduced to begging my husband to come with me to watch me shower beccause when I went alone and gathered my razor for shaving from the medicne chest I was so overwhelemed with fear that I couldnt trust myself alone with this bladed object.Not that I was thinking of killing myself but that I was so afriad that the depresion would consume me and I wouldnt be able to control my actions maybe not even be aware of them.My husband is making things worse in his anger.He knows its post partum depression and he belives it will just pass and I should in his words just "chill out" until it does.This just hurts me more for I know what he wont belive that it wont just pass over and that I cant just chill out beccause if I had that ability surely I would have already done it for love of my children.Sometimes in his anger he call me names.I know he isnt truly bad but just frustrated and helpless to fix his broken wife.I fear our marrige wont survive this.He calls me names even in joking that hurt...like if im in the bathroom or something and the baby is crying for milk he call moo cow to hurry up wich makes me feel number one fat and ugly and number two like im only useful for the milk I provide.As the house has went way down hill he hasnt had more than 3 pair of clean socks in over 2 months and I wont have any intamacy with him or take care of anything he gets frustrated and call me worthless wich just embodies how I already feel.And when the anxiety comes and I make him check the kids or if Im feeling bad over the house and I nag or yell for him to clean up or take better care of me and the kids he calls me twitch or psycho wich just makes me hate myself more and pushes the buttons that are already being pushed hard anyhow.I know there are reasons for his side of things but I cant see it from here I just hate him for it.Hate him for not picking up the slack while Im sick like this.Hate him for not seeing how what he is doing is making me worse.Sometimes he holds me and tells me he loves me or that Im beautiful but I feel like its all just lies and want him away from me.My heart is breaking more as I write this but I have to find someone who cares out there.You all cared for me before and are the lovingest people I have ever known I probably should post this on a ppd site but I just dont feel comfortable pouring this out there I feel like I can trust the reactions of you more.Last night I was truly afriad holding my razor shaking and knowing I needed to put it down and just have someone there to be safe.I should be able to hold my razor and shave.I should be a good mom. So many shoulds haunt me.But one should Kitty you helped me face.I feel I should tell somebody.

I'm gradually throwing postpartum resources into the Healthy Living section of the weblinks directory. Feel free to add any that you're aware of as well. (In fact, feel free to add anything to any of the weblink areas.)

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

I have been there too Jenn -- I think it is great that you are reaching out. I also remember feeling afraid of myself, what I might do if I went over the edge, even staring too long at the knife's edge while trying to cook. At that point it was so hard to tell anyone, because I felt like a total nutcase, beyond help, not even worth helping.

But it's not true! The fact that you are reaching out to us is so hopeful to me! Please find someone in your community you can tell, or even call a hotline -- they will get you in touch with someone who can help you.

I can see in your post that familiar feeling that there is no hope -- nothing will work -- there's no way out. But there is, I promise you, there is. Make that first call, and people will carry you from there.

Please post to us, and feel free to contact me privately too. You are going to be OK!

Sending up lots of prayers for you,
Shaun

I alright as I can be....Thanks for asking. Ive decided to have my childrens pediatrican refer me to someone when we go next week.I am trying to keep my head up.

Oh, Jenn, somehow I missed your post yesterday. I have been wondering where you were, and now knowing how you've been under it...my heart goes out to you! I sure wish your husband could be more caring and sympathetic, or that we could all be there in person to hug you and listen, but in the meantime, sending (((hugs))) across the internet to you. Hang in there until help is forthcoming!

Love and prayers,

Susannah

I've been so busy recently that I've only just popped in here out of interest. Since it isn't an area of experience for me much I stayed out until I had more time...

Did it feel any better at all to get it all off your chest?? And to realise that nobody here started seeing you as some kind of unnatural ogre mother!! Even those of us without a history of real depression have done things when we've been overwhelmed, and hated ourselves afterwards, thinking we must be bad mommies, so I'm pretty sure we can all empathise.

And Kitty too... you've seemed so together since the boys were born that you must have been suppressing this pretty hard. I'm glad you've both been able to come out here and ask for help and support. Even that small step must have been so tough, but I'm sure it's important for you both.

Jenn, I don't think your husband's a bad guy at all. He must be really, really frustrated at being so helpless, and with all the extra pressure you're accidentally giving him, and not able to relieve his frustrations as you might normally! This one I know, because I felt exactly that way when I was so ill last year... the pressure mounts up on them, and they just don't know how to let it out without it coming across as anger and frustration. It isn't anger at you, not really, so try to remind yourself of that whenever you can. Are you having times when you feel less awful?? More like your normal self?? Perhaps you could use those times to let your DH know what he can do to help you (just holding you and letting you know how much he loves you!), or if he's not around you could try something I started which is a load of little notes to my DH letting him know how much I love him, so that when I'm just not in the right place to tell him for whatever reason, he can pick out one of those notes and be reminded. You could write a few notes when you're feeling good and put them in a box or something, then add more the next time you're feeling a bit more loving! Might make you feel more in control too, as well as giving him a flicker of light at the end of a long and very dark tunnel.

"Alternative" methods in such a severe case as you describe Jenn must surely be extras. It doesn't mean you can't get started, as Rose suggested, just on a walk or something simple. Maybe with the kids around that isn't possible, so put on some happy music and dance with your eldest, or... More notes... make a list of ideas when you're feeling good so you won't have to use your irrational brain to think when you're feeling lousy! Kay mentioned SAD which I know Shaun at least suffers from, and grim weather can be enough to get anybody down at the best of times. Any way you can increase your dosage of natural light?? And the vitamins... it's all worth a try unless you're talking about stuff which might conflict with depression meds. The normal stuff you'd use to pull yourself out of a normal bad mood won't pull you out of a depression, but it might just lift the shadows a little.

Jenn, just a thought... I don't know whether you might do this, but when you go to the pediatrician, don't let yourself chicken out of asking for that referral. Find a way to force yourself into asking for it, because if that's a day when you're feeling particularly down it occurs to me that you might subconsciously try to sabotage your chances of getting better - does that make sense to anyone?? Could you maybe call the pediatrician, have her write the referral in her own time and then she can give it to you at the appointment?? Something which you can do at a time when the real you is more in control, and then there's no risk of you coming away from your appointment without the referral! I can kind of imagine doing that myself in a similar position... it's a form of procrastination somehow.

{{{HUGS}}} for both of you, and remember how brave and special you both are to have been able to share this with us.

Kerri.

I know that feeling of relief, when you finally find out you're not nuts, there really is something wrong. Keep us updated.

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

Jen, it sounds like you've gotten some answers. I'd really like to see you visit your physician and get those meds though! I have never heard of PPOCD, interesting. You are still in my thought and prayers -

Andrea

I find myself holding my breath too when I know someone's waiting to go for an appointment or something Courtney! Shows how close we all are I think.

I'm glad you've got a name for the problem Jenn. That was a tough step to take, and now you've taken charge - you've got to feel good about that, even if only for a little while! I haven't heard of the PPOCD either... isn't it amazing how many things there are that are being categorised an identified and labelled. I know there's a big fuss about labelling people, but when it comes to something like this I still think it's easier to have a label, so you feel more like the problem can be quantified, and if it can be quantified, identified in some way then it can be 'solved'. Anything too vague is far more worrying I find. I shall have a look at that link too so that we can follow your progress.

Extra sleep WILL help... of course it will! I shouldn't think there's a mother alive, especially one with young kids, who gets enough sleep, and sleep deprivation can only make things worse, so it's a great idea to snatch extra sleep. Otherwise you add ordinary crankiness to the mix and find yourself exploding even faster!

I hope you can keep the enthusiasm and the momentum going... that first burst when you've done what you needed to do doesn't last long, and you need to be on medication and going to the support group before that buzz wears off!

Is your DH relieved?? I'll bet he is. Now he has a label so he knows that he's not going crazy himself, that you've got a genuine problem and that it can finlly be addressed. Some labels can be comforting I reckon.

Good luck with taking the next steps... and don't ever forget we're all here to help in any way we can.

Kitty - how're you getting on?? Have you figured out what steps you need to take?? I know you said it isn't a big out-of-control problem now, but you also acknowledged that you need to get working on it before it escalates.

Kerri.