They have got it completely backwards: This study is drawing the complete wrong conclusions about teens, drugs (including alcohol) and sex.
"This year's survey reveals a tight connection between teen sexual behavior and substance abuse," said Joseph A. Califano Jr., president of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.
"Parents who become aware of certain dating and sexual behavior by their children should be alert to the increased likelihood of substance abuse," he said.
Listen, parents who aren't aware of substance abuse aren't going to be noticing sexual behavior, either, for starters. For seconds, sex doesn't lead to drugs and drinking--drugs (ESPECIALLY drinking) lead to sex. First you get too screwed up to know what the right thing to do is, then you do the wrong thing. Hopefully you don't do this before college, if at all.
Because John and I are in recovery (I've been sober since 1987, he's been sober since 1990), we get asked from time to time what we're going to tell the girls about drugs and alcohol and our pasts. We're going to tell them the truth: That genetically speaking they have a very good shot at being substance abusers. That we screwed up royally as young people and had many adventures we're not proud of but have come to terms with. That at some point they will have choices to make, and that we hope they'll make better choices than we did.
We're trying to arm them with information appropriate to their ages and answer any questions they have as they come up (which, with Josie, they already have). We talk about things we see on television; we talk about relatives who drink responsibly and other people we have seen who don't or can't. Most importantly, we're trying to arm them with strong characters and self-knowledge, and that's a lot more than "just say no."
Talk to your kids about drugs, but especially talk to them about alcohol, and tell them honestly about what can happen when you're too high or drunk to consent. Model behavior consistent with what you want your child to do. And hope for the best. Honest involvement in your child's life is the best preventative.
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