NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Submitted by lgunnoe on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 5:46am.

My oldest DD turns 14 tomorrow and I find myself sad about it. I realize that my sorrow has nothing at all to do with her...she is a lovely, wonderful, talented girl. It's about me, but I haven't figured out what it is that is the issue.

I don't think I'm sad about her growing up....the older my girls get, the better I like them! Eye-wink

She is having a great time in marching band and I'm sure she will not have scholastic issues in high school either.

She has a close group of friends: they are good friends as well as being good friends.

It's not a big change, here, from middle school to high school, either: same group of kids, same schedule, same bus...

I'm excited for her: thrilled with the woman she is becoming, pleased with her environment, proud of the activities she choses and the friends she has....

What is the problem???

Must be me!

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Fern's picture

Growing up. . .for them and for us

Submitted by Fern on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 8:24am.

I've some of the same feelings going on here. Could it be we are feeling a little less "needed" (maybe on an emotional level), even though things do not seem to have changed much? My DD turned 14 earlier this Spring and has begun her Freshman year in Highschool. I think of how quickly the past four years have flown and what the next four will bring. Life seems to go at such a fast clip during these child raising years that there isn't enough time to do all the things I'd like to do with mine and I realize the time will soon be gone. Sometimes I feel like the younger child demands more attention, therefore getting more attention, leaving me feeling like I'm not doing the older one justice.

We see our children carving out a life of their own. . .good friends, becoming self sufficient, etc. and although we are proud of them and happy for them, and its what we've striven for, we still feel a little sadness knowing the days are coming that we won't be THE most important thing in their lives anymore.

Lynn's picture

Motherhood is about letting go

Submitted by Lynn on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 9:03am.

From the minute that stick shows two little lines we let go of our bodies. When they're born, we let go of our hearts. And as they grow, we let go of them, slowly, necessarily, and surely. It's no surprise you're melancholy.

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

Kerri's picture

Funny

Submitted by Kerri on Thu, 08/19/2004 - 6:36pm.

mine had a birthday yesterday (happy birthday to yours today Lenora!) and she just never seems to get any older at all. She was still sat in the back of the car sucking her thumb and behaving like a baby yesterday. Part of me wishes she would grow up a bit, but she's still only 8, so i guess I should just be grateful she's not rushing into it. Knowing my luck she'll do all her growing and her growing up in a sudden burst and I'll be left bewildered and confused!

It's just a feeling of loss as the years go by I reckon Lenora, and you know that if you look ahead just 4yrs, as Fern said, you can see it won't be long before she's leaving. It still seems a long, long way away for me, but when I realise it's only 10yrs I know it won't seem long.

You're suffering from a mild case of Nostalgia Lenora. It's incurable, but at least it won't kill you!

Kerri.

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