Arthur Books--Am I being to sensitive?

I've just read through the Arthur book I picked up the other day from the library (Arthur's TV Trouble) and whilst there is a little sibling *stuff* I reckon it's pretty mild - certainly far milder than between my own kids in this case. I'm trying to think of anything in the kids' computer Arthur that is out of line and nothing particularly springs to mind.

what I would say, which of course you may feel is incorrect, is something about the degree to which we can protect our children from the world around them. All good parents want to protect their kids, and the extent to which they try to do that depends on the individual family, both parents and child. Some kids might well be ready for scarier stories at 7 or 8, or even younger, but I know mine don't take kindly to them.

I noticed a change in my children when they each started schooling, and especilly with DD when she started primary school. They do pick up things from other kids which may not be welcome in your home. One can say, "that's okay, we'll be homeschooling", but it still can't prevent your child coming into contact with the outside world, and anyway, it shouldn't. Kids need to learn and experience as much as possible while they're safely with us, and that means that occasionally they will come into contact with the less savoury aspects.

Rather than worrying about her picking up bad things, you could potentially see it as an opportunity to discuss the way people behave, pointing out what you feel is unacceptable behaviour, and explaining why, or what the alternatives might be. I don't think Arthur is an especially severe example, though perhaps you can delay until she's able to understand any discussion - "I don't think you're quite ready for that yet, why don't we try..." Th are unfortunately plenty of examples of well illustrated books which are just badly written, never mind the content, and that's really something you want to avoid. Fortunately I'm quite happy reading every book before my kids get to them, but I'm steering them in the direction of safe classics like Blyton (don't mention the Gollies!), Roald Dahl and E Nesbit. You can discuss content, but it's hard to discuss writing quality with a pre-reader!

I hope that makes sense Danna. I wouldn't say that Arthur books are 100% foolproof, but there are very few which are, and they do have the advantage of teaching lessons with characters the kids like (the TV Trouble one shows the perils of believing in advertising, which I've previously discussed with mine anyway). We definitely need to protect our children, especially wen they are very young, but we are also their safest introduction to the new and the scary in the world, and one of the best ways to build confidence for adulthood is to encourage open discussion about everything with youngsters.

Kerri.

ps. did you realise Arthur is supposed to be an aardvark?? In the early cartoons it's more obvious, but now all he has is two dots for a nose! I'll bet most kids haven't a clue what he is.

Danna -

My kids (5 and 7) love Arthur and I do too! They watch the show and read the books. Also have a couple of computer games! There seems to be a lesson in each show or book and it is fun for us because Arthur and DW are just like my kids. There are some really cute books - Arthur's New Baby comes to mind, Arthur's Christmas, there is a Thanksgiving one. I'd say give it a shot.

Kerri, I think I heard that about the aardvark thing before, but had forgotten! The fact that all of the characters are animals make them much more approachable for kids I think.

Andrea

Here we don't really feel the love for Arthur. I don't like that the kids treat each other so cruelly, and if my kids watch the show they definitely pick it up. Now that Josie is older she notices it; she saw Arthur at a grandparent's house and asked me when she came back why the kids were so mean to each other!

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

I think the differing levels of appreciation we have for Arthur stem from our different realities. I have a fourth grade girl and, unfortunately, this is how (some of) her classmates treat each other. I find Arthur to be a valuable show as a discussion starter for us, because it not only shows how mean kids are, but how it affects their feelings. Yes, I wish kids weren't this cruel, but it's the reality we're dealing with in our community. Also, I think some of the teasing that goes on during the show is good-natured, and it's a nice example for her to see kids be able to brush that kind of stuff off and to realize you can't take everything kids say to heart. She has always been pretty sensitive and up until this year she would get VERY angry or cry a lot when interacting with other kids. She's toughened up a lot in the last year or so, I think partially because of some of the discussions we've had about various shows.

On the other hand, I do not like my 3 yo to watch it because the nastiness gets picked up while the lesson goes straight over his head.

I, personally, LOVE watching Arthur. Once they had Click and Clack on from Car Talk and once they had on Yo Yo Ma. I think it's one of the best animated shows out there for us Moms who only get to watch PBS during the day.

but we don't get PBS. I'm not nuts about the books, for the very reason Danna mentioned: pronounced and unresolved sibling rivalry. Even the Berenstein Bears books, while definitely more preachy, address the sibling rivalry issue correctly. I don't like it when my older girls look down on the boys, and I try to correct it consistently. I say, if it bugs you, ditch the books at least until she's older.

Another thing that once concerned me with the tv-character-based books we owned were the inevitable yellow school buses pictured therein! The school bus was the one and only reason my first child wanted to go to school. The school bus mystique faded after a while, though.

I dislike Arthur too, for the same reasons mentioned above. The children are mean to each other. I have only seen the show, I haven't read the books, but I don't think the show is appropriate for anyone under the age of eight. They won't understand the motivations behind the behavior or that it's innappropriate to imitate it. I think the older kids might, though, as long as there is dialogue with an older sibling or parent about it.

Perhaps if Danika's heart is set on Arthur books, you could prescreen them for the least obnoxious ones that you would be comfortable reading to her and limit it to those until she's older. I totally agree with Kerri that you can say "I don't think you're quite ready for that yet, why don't we try..."
______

May The Hair On Your Toes Never Fall Out

--Traditional Hobbit Blessing

my DDs are older now so we don't watch it,,,but we did alot when they were younger. I don't remember the kids being mean to each other. Is it possible that the newer shows are where they are mean?? If this is so it is very sad to think that as "kids" get older they should get meaner. If they were mean in older shows it went right over my head .I do believe that you should see all "kinds of people" in the walk of life,,,and bads things are a good way to show what NOT to do.

Anja, I'm assuming your whole post is a joke?!

I just can't help but feeling like I'm sort sort of neglectful Mom for letting my kiddos watch Arthur of all things! Not to get too defensive, but my kids are nice and respectful to their friends and (mostly) to each other!

I still say I like Arthur, but will listen more carefully next time around!

Andrea

Let me clarify...I don't ban Arthur, I just grumble inwardly. I don't have a problem with "real" situations being presented. Believe me, after five kids, I know sibling rivalry happens. But after it happens, there should be a parental correction, an "I'm sorry" and an "I forgive you." The stuff between Arthur and his little sister is ongoing and under his parents' radar. I also don't like Rugrats for the same reason.

Thanks for clarifying Anja!

About the bunnies having bunnies... I think that's reality! I think it would be quite odd if Marc Brown presented bunnies as having aardvarks or something! There are several darker-skinned animals throughout the books and shows I think.

Andrea

Yeah Anja, I think you're letting your addiction show I had no idea that Sue Ellen's parents sponsored a panda from abroad!

I wonder how much mail/email Marc Brown gets regarding his characters and themes? A lot, I bet. I was just checking out the Arthur web site at pbskids.com. There is some neat stuff on there for parents and teachers.

Andrea

My DD5 did not initially like Arthur as a 3 yr old, and we avoided it for some time. Now she's watching it occasionally (less than once a week).

I confess, I think it's a pretty funny show. I've watched it since before Sophie was born, which means I've been watching for 6 years! But I don't always like shows that make jokes just for the sake of parents -- who cares if I'm laughing, the show's for my kid. I think the show is more appropriate for kids who attend school.

We did watch Arthur this morning b/c I was feeling sick and exhausted, and in light of that episode I felt that some pretty good notions were expressed pretty well. Binky did ballet, and his "bully" gang of friends cheered for him and said he was the best part of the show. D.W. was embarrassed by her mother repeating "cute" stories about her, and she and her mom had to work out a reasonable way of dealing with it that respected both parties. As part of that storyline, there was some unkind teasing (Francine, naturally), but I think a kid who goes to school would be watching closely to see how it gets worked out. My DD has teased and been teased, and I think she related to the story. Also, that story showed Arthur mentally working out the choice between helping D. W. when asked (result: happy sister) and refusing to help in a nasty voice (result: crying D. W.). Arthur chose the latter -- it was very brief and not heavy handed, but it did show someone making a choice to be kind even when being unkind was tempting.

As far as discussing bad behavior from videos and books, I'm thinking at age 4 you're just approaching the point where your can do that successfully. When Sophie was 3 we did some of that and I'm not sure it made a lot of sense to her then. It really helps when the story is something the kids can relate to directly and fairly specifically. Stories about school and groups of friends were not meaningful then, but they are now.

We have shied away from Angelina Ballerina videos/shows, which we initially thought would be terrific, because Angelina is often very nasty to her friends and does silly things. In that show, however, Angelina is clearly the heroine, and so DD5 is more prone to want to imitate her bad behavior and ignore the lessons Angelina learns. With Arthur, he does sometimes screw up but mostly he's confronting the problems posed by bullies, snobs, and other typical classroom characters. I also really like the idea that our friends, just like us, are imperfect people who sometimes do or say stupid things, and yet we try to get along.

As far as picking up words or phrases from a book that we don't like -- well, I can surely go along with that! I have avoided Junie B. Jones for that very reason!! (And with some regret, but DD5 is so interested in language, accents, and dialect that she doesn't need any pushes in the wrong direction.)

Shaun

My MIL is a first grade teacher and she loves Junie B. Jones. I have never read it. What's objectionable about it?

Danna =]