Potty Training Question
During the initial "training period", do you put diapers on your child when going to town or visiting friends? Or do you just take a few extra outfits? Is putting diapers on the child during outings going to confuse him/her?
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Depends on what you mean by initial
If by "initial training period" you mean that you've just started working on it, I'd go with diapers. Or maybe Pull-Ups, which I hate and think are from the devil, but they do have their time and place. Pull-Ups would seem different if you're worried about confusing.
It's been a while since we did this with DD5, so my memory isn't perfect, but we went back and forth between diapers and underpants a lot, and she was pretty well trained by about 28 months. (Extensive summer traveling did bog us down, but I know other families who were more dogged in their efforts to keep it going while on the road.) Actually, she was trained before that, but she decided to take a break once she'd mastered her new skill!
But if you mean that most days are dry but you have an accident here or there (less than once a day), I'd go with extra outfits. Ya gotta do it someday. If you're worried about someone soiling your friend's new Turkish rug, maybe hold off on the visit instead!
Also, some people stress less about accidents than I do, so they may give you different advice. I am not good with messes! (Except those of my own making, like my office, kitchen, bedroom, etc.)
Shaun
choice
I would say pull ups,,just to ease your mind and hers
if you want this
my advise on potty training made easier is ,,,I took my DDs to the store and said,,ok pick out your new big girl pants. I found this was a great incentive to them because we did not want to wet or soil our favorite panties 
another hint,,,no caffiene,,,it is a diretic[sp],,,found out the hard way DD2 was sneaking my pop
Kitty, I let DD2 pick out her big girl panties and she used them to dust the house. She couldn't have cared less that Tweety Bird got all nasty
.
I am still trying to figure out why some children take months to master the potty thing while others do it over the course of a weekend. If it has anything to do with going back and forth from diapers to panties, I will definitely stay away from that trap...
being ready
In my opinion, the biggest reason that some kids potty train fast and some take a long time is that some kids are ready and some are pushed from behind before they're ready. I know my kids have seemed like they just couldn't get it for a long time and as long as I didn't make too big a deal out of it, they just clicked and seemed to get it all at once.
There are some programs designed to potty train in a couple of days that involve tanking the kid up with fluids until they have to pee all the time so that they get lots of practice at going. It does require that you devote yourself to nothing but potty training though.
Lauralyn
More thoughts
Have you done anything at home yet? When we started with DD5, we started at 18 mos with just sitting on the potty for fun. This was not potty training -- just prep. If you haven't done it, lay the groundwork first: sitting on the potty at random times, picking out a potty if you don't have one, watching videos, reading books, etc. I just read an article on this recently by Jane Brody (NYT health columnist). It is really worth reading, I think.
http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/living/health/8615339.htm?1c
For me and most of the moms I know, once we were ready to go to underpants all day we did plan on 2 weeks or so of minimal outings. This could probably just be one week, but keep in mind that you are a slave to your child's bladder for a few weeks. Plan on regular potty breaks every time you are about to get in the car and know where the bathrooms are! Use frequent reminders, keep an eye on the time, etc. Friends' houses should not be a big problem if you are there to help -- dropping off for playdates might need a brief hiatus.
Hope this helps. We did have one kid come pee all over our floor several times, but we had rolled up the rugs, so whatever. DD5 never had many accidents that I can recall, but maybe I blocked them out. Anyway, they're going to happen -- you can't stop it!
Shaun
Thank you for the article
When DD2 was an infant, I had read about potty training infants. The authors suggested that parents were training their children to go in their pants only to retrain them later. That's when I started putting DD on the potty in the mornings before putting on a new diaper. She has always been doing fine with the morning bathroom break. I was having the rather naive thought that after a while, she'd get the message to do it there all the time. It hasn't happened... It's time to "take the training wheels off"
(I really like that comparison!)
I read the article
I have to confess, I do not consider myself a "successful" potty trainer. I would far rather change diapers than go through potty training. That said, the best thing for us has been "bare bottom" training. My 2.5 year old is about at that stage right now. It's not been the best thing for the carpeting, though. I wish more than ever we had gone with hardwood floor or tile and just used rugs, which, as Shaun pointed out, can be rolled up. Meanwhile, I have been making do with the steam cleaner (an indispensible tool!).
I'm still having issues, though, with my 5yo and 4yo children. The 5yo (almost 6!) cannot seem to contain her urine. She uses the toilet, but often has to change her underwear throughout the day. I am about ready to consult the pediatrician on that one. The 4yo has problems with an impacted bowel and so has accidents because of the laxative he is on. So I feel quite unqualified in the potty training dept. At least my 7yo seems to have it down pat! LOL!
college
my neighbor said she had not heard of anyone going off to college not being potty trained
she also had this same theory on shoe tying
I guess she means when they are ready ,,they are ready
wet underpants
Just wanted to mention that when DD was 4, say 6 months ago or more, she went through a period of having wet underpants -- like just a tiny leak. I kept finding underwear on the bathroom floor, and she'd be running around with none.
It seemed to resolve itself with some renewed attention to using the potty at regular times for a bit, but I still suspect that there was some kind of surface irritation going on. I think that can cause little problems like that.
Shaun
It's not going to be a 3-day event...
Obviously, DD2 is not going to be trained in a matter of days... When I tell her to go to the potty, she will, and she will always pee but she won't go on her own. She won't do the number 2 in it at all
Surely, that should be the easiest to master?
I am starting to doubt myself. Maybe it depends on the "trainer" how long this potty thing takes? I have the feeling that my little girls pees on the floor on purpose. When she had an accident in the kitchen on the vinyl, she was totally thrilled "I make a puddle!" and then tried to hop in it (like she does to rain puddles). It seems that she never pees in the same place twice as if she is conducting a science experiment testing how absorbent the different places are... Maybe I should buy stock in Luvs and Depends and keep her in diapers until she moves out
poopy potty training
Anja--
My second daughter also had a hard time with pooping in the toilet. When she finally got the hang of peeing in the toilet, I told her just to wear her panties and then tell me when she needed to poop and I would put diaper on her. We did that for a couple of months, and she was very good about telling me so I could put her in a diaper. She eventually just grew out of it.
Lauralyn
"I don't want to talk about it!"
I think, I may have pushed a little too hard... When I bring up potty training, DD2 know just says "I don't want to talk about it!" and walks off. Maybe I need to put up the panties for a month and start over again. I was a little too determined to get this "business" taken care of in a matter of days rather than letting her set the pace
it's her body
You know, these kids really do know when they are ready for major changes... weaning, eating solid foods, potty training... someone told me that if she is still hiding (in a corner, or another room) to poop in her diaper, she is not ready.
I was going "bare bottom" at the house and diapers when traveling - but I think that did just confuse her... so, we carried lots of changes of clothing, cleaned lots of little messes - at the grocery and elsewhere - and smiled through it for a couple of days.
I was consistant about her trying before we went anywhere, and asking often. I would just have her sit on the potty about every 30 minutes...
we also read a couple of great books while on the potty... The Potty Book for Girls by Alissia Cappucilli is by far her favorite.
time
Just give her some time. My 2nd daughter at 30 months wanted absolutly nothing to do with the potty. Didn't want to look at it, talk about it, or wear anything but diapers, and if you mentioned it, she would scream NOOOOOO!!!! One day she all of the sudden decided, "today I will use the potty" and that was it. I would say gently ask if she wants to try, and if not, don't push it.
And for your first question in the thread. I trained with cloth skivvies, the first kind that have super thick crotches and you put a vinyl cover over them. Do you know which ones I'm talking about? They come in packs of 3 I think, made by Gerber. They have plain white ones, but also some pretty girl ones and cute boy ones, too. I always packed a few of these with me, and an extra outfit for just in case. I did this when they were farther along the potty training stage, not when we were first starting. Diapers isn't going to hurt anything on outings right now, especially if you use cloth ones, but reg ones too.
and just for the record, I never used Pull-ups. Notice I said "never used", not "I will never use". I've learned with Chance to never say never, I have ate my words many times with that little toot. I may end up trying those with him someday...
Update
Thank you for all the advice
My little DD finally gave in some time at the end of June and started using the potty for both Number 1&2. I kept her in panties and kept on mopping. It took her 10 days to get the message. Ten days of 5-8 clothes changes per day. Ten days of poopy, stinky, wet panties and floors. We didn't leave the house much... I still remember the day she went to poop in the pot all by herself. I didn't even know she was going. I was totally thrilled. I think, DD was puzzled how some stinky stuff in a pot could make Mama so happy
Of course, she stopped using the potty completely for the rest of that day...
I am still keeping her in pull ups at night. I used diapers for several months but it became too inconvenient whenever DD wanted to go potty before going to bed.
Jennye, I am thinking about using those cloth skivvies you mentioned with vinyl covers at night. Do they leak?
cloth training pants
Not too bad. Unless there is a good amount of pee. The hand-me-downs I was given also had an extra pad for extra absorbancy. Think about 10 layers of retangular cloth all sewn together. I would stick that in there at night to soak up a bit more. (It was a whole seperate pad, not attached to the skivvy). Maybe like a cloth menstral pad? Not sure if they were bought or made, all my stuff is used, except for a few pairs of skivvies. If she pees often or alot, I would do the extra pad, because the pee will just pool in the vinyl pant and THEN you get a mess when you pull those down.
Oh, potty training... I've had several ask me if Chance is trained yet. HA!!! Give him at least another year!!! I agree with Susannah, it's easier just to change diapers. I'm dreading potty training with him.
Boys!
They are rarely easier than girls, both from my personal experience, and from what I've read and heard elsewhere too. It's not at all uncommon for boys to be wet at night when they're 6, so no suprise that they take longer for the initial stages too.
One small thing that made it easier for me to train DS, was that we skipped the whole standing up to pee thing... It's hard enough without me trying to teach the little guy a skill I don't have a clue about myself. Daddy mostly sits down on the potty so he did too - hallelujah! Saves worrying about aim and equipment proportions as well as the basic potty training problems you get with girls.
DS is still often wet at night, so we get him up before we sleep, about a couple of hours after he's gone to bed himself, and that's usually enough to minimise the trouble.
And the other problem comes with any child who gets really caught up in what they're doing, be it playing or colouring or whatever - at that age they can easily forget they need until it's too late.
Kerri.
If he wants to wear big kid
If he wants to wear big kid undies or training pants, try them out! If it doesn't work out, you can always go back to the diapers. It may even speed things up because he can feel that he is wet quicker than with diapers. Ask him what he wants!
As for the progress on my 4th child (2 1/2 years old): if I set him on the potty he will try and make a little pee. Today was the first time I set him on it and he pooped a bit. I have asked him if he wants skivvies and he says no and gets a diaper. He wants nothing to do with cloth diapers, cloth training pants, or big kid skivvies with Thomas the Tank Engine on them (and Thomas is his favorite toys, right up there with Power Rangers). So I continue with disposable diapers.
Afterall, it's all about him, right? :eyeroll: LOL!
iseas for the next step in training
Earlier in the week, when not wearing a diaper Marty told me he needed to go "pee pee". After several tries he was able to go on the big potty. This occurred both during bath time and the following evening during massage time.
The past few days Marty has been home with me, rather than preschool as he is sick. During the day I took his diaper off and placed his potty in our great room. He has been peeing regularly on the potty. There were two occasions when he just started to pee and completed the process when directed to the potty.
Today, I had the diapers off during playtime. (something suggested by Dr. Sears. ) He not only used the potty for pee but used it for a BM. We went to flush it in the potty when he said he had to go again. Apparently he was so excited about the BM that he had not finished.
He's happy to go to the potty seat when he feels an urge. I've seen run to his seat and on occasion without production to return later and see production. He's very proud of going in the potty.
We have the baby bjorn potty seat. After production he picks up the reservoir and carries it to the toilet. He dumps it in and flushes the potty.Since he has no fear of the potty we give him stickers for production in the potty. He decorates the potty with them.
how long do i do this before using training pants/underwear?
Thank you for your advice.
btw Marty is in preschool from 9-1:00pm/3:00 pm if he naps there.
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