what to do.....

You mentioned scrapbooking one time. It's a fairly cheap hobby if you want to take it up again.

You also mentioned photography. Maybe you could talk to the local newspaper or something like that and submit photographs around town.

Gardening is fun. If you at least have a patio in an apartment, some container vegetables can be rewarding (like tomatoes).

Read some books that you have always wanted to read! If you get some kids someday, that will be something you may not get to do much. Believe me! LOL!

Volunteer. Maybe at the library, senior center (I suppose this would be off base, so if you can get off). Be a "mother's helper" so to speak, learn to change diapers (you had mentioned on your first thread you didn't know how). If you go to church (or are religious), you can volunteer there, too. If you know anything about how to use a hammer, you can help out with Habitat for Humanity.

come on out and visit me, I'll find enough to keep you busy! LOL! I can't remember the last time I was bored!

Oh, don't know if this would interest you, but how about genealogy? It's something you can do alot of online, so if you are just staring at the screen anyway... it's cheap, you can even download a program from the Morman website for free! And it's something that your entire family may enjoy looking at someday. Gathering family stories are great, someday the stories will be gone with that person forever, get them down in writing!

Just some thoughts. Or, just have a baby and you'll never be bored again! hahaha!!!! Just kidding! for all I know, you may not ever want kids!

I was a SAHW long before I was a SAHM, so I've had a dose of it both ways. First thing you must understand is that staying home isn't for everyone. If you hate it or are bored silly, then maybe a full or part time job is something you'd like? I have a friend who has moved several times and the first things she does is find someplace to volunteer. Usually hospitals, libraries, schools, SOS for battered women, etc.. . those places love to have volunteers and you can set how much time you are willing to put into it. Also, it gets you out in the public eye and jobs are a bit easier to come by when you are out and amongst working people.

If you aren't looking for a job and just want something to alleviate the boredom, take stock of your interests. I loved sewing and I sewed for my nieces, things for my house, quilted, etc. when I was home with no kids. I read a lot, got acquainted with neighbors and made friends with others. . most of them were moms because there weren't many SAHW's. The only thing to watch there is not getting used as everyone's babysitter. I always enjoyed spending time with kids, but at my invitation and convenience. If your interests lie in yoga and dance, is it something you could teach a class in yourself to make a little money?

Get out and walk daily around the area where you live. Perhaps there is another SAHW or SAHM who would love someone to visit with, walk with daily, meet for lunch occasionally.

Computers and cyber friends are wonderful, but "real" friends are needed too.

as for scrapbooking I would like to update mine, but my printer won't work, I tried and tried, and nothing, I asked husband he is really good at it, but he hasnt done it yet....

gardening, and lots of things I like, cost money unfortunatly because I love gardening and having my own fresh fruit and veggies......

I think i might look into somewhere to volenteer around here.... I am not entirely sure where to start though....

which site has the free geneology? I have tried that before but every resource costs too much. the only free one I got was when I visited the graveyard nearby, but then I figured out that they were prolly distant cousins and not direct lineage.

we want kids... just not now. in another 4 years we can think about it. I am thinking though that it would be better for him to be a SAHD, then for me, he loves being at home and being able to do all the housework and stuff... I just need to figure out what job I could do that would cover all of us..... thats hard.....

I would love a good job. I just cant seem to find one. I heard that the millitary was hireing, but i already feel traped by them and really don't want to compleatly surround myself...

I do have some sewing to do.. but I just dont feel motivated to do it, wheather I am sewing or sitting on the comp I am basicly doing the same thing....

I wish I knew enough to be able to teach yoga or dance, I just dont think I am qualified though... I have thought about it before, but who would want an underqualified teacher...

except for about 3 days since I have been here that were warm enough to go outside for more then a quick run to a pre-heated car. I should go get some exersize though, at least when it gets warmer.... i kinda feel like my lack of motivation will kill that though... i am just trapped....

I'm really into genealogy. The best sites are
www.ancestry.com
www.genealogy.com
www.familysearch.com
www.rootsweb.com

Also check out google. Sometimes you will hit the jackpot with them. Other times, zilch. It totally depends. Have fun!

Hey Tash
Glad to see you're still around. Before my son was born, I did a lot of volunteer work on post. It gave me a reason to get out of bed and get dressed every day. To get started, you can check with the Installation Volunteer Coordinator (IVC). She is located in the Family Resource Center, which is in the Po Valley Chapel. You could also check with the Red Cross to see what opportunities they offer.
I completely understand what you mean about feeling surrounded by the military. It's not like a "normal" marriage. Much of your life is defined by what your husband does. Retaining one's own identity is tough. It took me a long time to adjust to this lifestyle and this culture. You'll find your niche, too.
Looking back, I wish that I had kept a journal. I know I gained a great deal of wisdom during those bumpy first years of military marriage. I think I'd be a stronger person today if I had been more introspective about the journey.
With the nicer weather coming (I hope!) and more troops returning from Afghanistan (double hope!!) the post will get hopping again soon.
Rose

Here is the link for the free genealogy program. all it takes is some time to download it. Long link, just copy and paste it:

http://www.ldscatalog.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catal...

Genealogy is very cheap! So many families now have information on the web. You get into costs when you go off to visit graveyards far away, ordering certificates, etc. Many libraries have genealogy books, like census records, social security death indexes. And if they don't have it, they can usually get it. And you can always get books at the library on how to do genealogy. I'm sure there is a Genealogy for Dummies book out there (I love Dummies books!!!). And distant cousins are part of genealogy, too.

Gardening isn't expensive! If you like homegrown tomatoes, one plant should be enough for the two of you. Big cheap pot from walmart about $2-3, some potting soil and a plant, shouldn't be more than $10 at the most! And in the end, you are getting far more tomatoes than if you had bought them. You just SAVED money!! The pot is reusable for years, so next year, all you need is the plant and maybe a little more soil.

For scrapbooking. Are you using your printer to print your pictures? If you can save the pics to disk, you can have them printed for pretty cheap. Not sure if you have a walmart in your area, but I'm sure some place developes photos. I do everything at Walmart, and 4x6 photos from a disk cost .24 each.

I have to admit, I was never a SAHW. I had to work, I even had two jobs when things got really tight (dh quit truck driving to work as an officer in the county jail). I had an office job at the local car dealership from 7:30-4:30, then waitressed from 5-9 every night and weekends. I quit the waitress job when I got pregnant with our first, and my last day at work at the office was the day I went into labor. Personally, I would be bored to death if I was a SAHW. LOL! But, my mother-in-law does it an is very happy. She scrapbooks and does genealogy. She has her little garden some years.

From your other thread, you mentioned that you felt guilty about using your DH's money to even buy milk (did I read that right?). I feel, and this is just my opinion, that you are a married couple, and if you aren't going to be working, then you shouldn't feel guilty about that money! You shouldn't feel guilty about using any money, no matter whose it is (yours or his)! Marriage is a partnership. Sometimes I feel a little guilty when the grocery bill is a little high one month. But I'm making him a happy home that he wants to come home to, and not go out drinking at the bar or something, and sometimes, it takes a little money to do that.

All the ideas here are pretty cheap ones. Be open minded!

One more thing.

I live near Cannon Air Force Base. Many people from the base are very active in the nearby towns (in this case, Clovis and Portales). Is it not like that where you are (Ft. Drum, right?). Do you have a way to get off base, a car or something?

I went out yesterday and bought some pots, potting soil, and seeds. I didnt get any tomato because I am kinda scared of them, I may go back though and get them later, along with some pepers... I did get alpine strawberries, fennel, basil, and a buterfly attracting hanging pot kit. all in all it was about $16, which to me having no source of income seems quite expeinsive, but hopefully I will get at least $16 worth of strawberries, basil, fennel, and butterflys, plus something to do.

with geneology, what I really want is to know my great grandmothers maiden name. my mothers mothers was Moore, (and why I call myself Tash Moore), but I have no clue about her mother.... the only way I knwo to do this is to get the marrige certificate, but I think thats like $10.

the good thing about my last name is that it is very unique and if I see it somewhere its a relative, perhaps very distant, but go back far enough and its blood. for the same reason my husbands last name is difficult, he has a very very common name that just don't have the nice little factor, but I am not even trying on his side at this point....

"Much of your life is defined by what your husband does."
I really, really, really, hate that. I don't think I will ever fully adapt to this lifestyle.....

my entire life is preaty much digital, my computer is the other half of my brain. my husbands printer is working, but mine is sooooo much better especilly for photos. and my other printers are still in storage, but again, they arent' as good for photoprinting...

I didnt even know wal mart did printing, the only one I knew of was cord and there arent any around here.

I do feel guilty when I spend his money. I am ok with him buying all the grocieries and his job giving us our house. But I have always supported myself, and I should have a job, its not like we even have kids to stay home and watch, there is no reason for me not to work other then there aren't any places I can work.

I do have a car, but I cat find anything to do in watertown. there is a club just off base, but I don't really club. the best place I have lived so far was KCMO, westport to be precise. there was a coffee shop and all kinds of play auditions going on all the time (a good friend of mine reacently stared in one), i had sevral friends who didnt have regular jobs, they just sat out on the sidewalk all day and made things, one made hemp jewlery he was very talented, another made rings out of silver wire and stones. There were lots of good restraunts to go to, almost all of which either were veg or had an extensive veg selection. thats the type of place I feel comfortable in.....

Tash are you the only one on base with the same problem?? I doubt it soooo put up a flyer or note up in a place where women will see it. Tell them you want to start a "day" club. Its just to help each other out. You don't have to do crafts or do them if it works for you all. Maybe you could have it once a week [less too] you could have each time is a different "theme"

crafts [they CAN be cheap...and teach others new things

books ,,,library is FREEE...tell what you liked or hated

cooking classes,,,teach each other

baby classes,,,,again teach each other

walking,,,go a few miles together,,,talk and exercise in one

sewing,needle point or clothes,,knitting,,painting

gardening hints....you could even share or exchange your "fruits" of labor

plain old exercise

any way Tash,, there has GOT to be someone in your same situation,,have your DH ask around,,and again the post ,,is there a place where people go by alot like one of the stores on base??

Did I understand this right?? Tash and Rose are on the same base?? Maybe Tash could visit Rose, maybe help out there occasionally. I'm sure Rose would like an extra pair of hands once in a while. It's worth a try I would think!

Tash, it really sounds as though you don't want to be a SAH, at least not right now. Maybe it's been too many things for you to adapt to at once, and clearly having a job would be one way for you to reclaim part of your identity while you adjust. Finding a job is the hard part, but there's no rush, so your 'job' for now is to find a job! To put yourself out there and see what's available. I know you said your DH likes to have you at home, but I'm sure he doesn't want you to be miserable. I would imagine you're still pretty young, so being suddenly dragged to the 'cold' north away from friends and family, and not having any friends nearby or any jobs to do must be seriously driving you nuts. Fair enough.

Anything else is just keeping you a bit occupied while your ultimate goal is basically to find a job. The advantage for you is that the money obviously isn't a huge issue, or your DH wouldn't want you to be home. So you can wait until the right job comes along, or you can give your time to volunteer work, or you can grab the first thing you find and dump it when you find something better. If money isn't a big issue you gain a lot of flexibility.

It's okay to be bored with staying home. It doesn't make you a bad person! It will help if you're honest with yourself and with your husband about how you feel. Not everyone enjoys nestbuilding.

One more thing about the genealogy... if you have any idea about the places your family members came from, it can be helpful to see if that town has a website, because that can be a source of information. One place I used to live has a website with a huge page of people asking genealogical questions from all over the world.

and if you're already spending a lot of time on computers, don't forget that there are ways to learn almost anything online. Suite 101 has all sorts of information, and there are 'universities' with lots of free courses in the strangest of things. All you need is an internet connection and a search engine and you can fill hours and hours! Jenny's absolutely right about not having any free time once you have kids, so make the most of the next few years, don't wait any experience, because once you have kids it will be another twenty years before you get another chance. Even when you're not actually DOING something with the kids, they're invariably underfoot, and it's very hard to do a lot of things with small kids around. I had my kids fairly young so I didn't have the awkward transition phase that you're experiencing at the moment, but then again, I'm now struggling with figuring out who I am in addition to being a daughter, wife and mother - I didn't really have time between to just be me!

Life's just full of obstacles and you just have to find the best way to get past them. Every time you pass an obstacle you've learned somhing, even if it isn't immediately obvious. Rose said much the same about learning things during her early years as a military wife. All the things you learn now will go to make the person you become as you get older.

I'm guessing that you're not an only child... Only children don't tend to get bored because they're used to having to amuse themselves from very young. I've noticed that those who grew up with siblings don't enjoy their own company so much.

Enough babbling...

Kerri.

"I doubt it soooo put up a flyer or note up in a place where women will see it."
thats another part of my problem... I am terrified of the military, it took me sevral months to even hug my husband when he was in uniform, which he always is.....

"I know you said your DH likes to have you at home, but I'm sure he doesn't want you to be miserable."
what I meant was he wants me to be at [i]this[/i] home. I could move hback to ohio and easily get a job, there are plenty there. but I like living with him, and he likes me being here too.

I spent the last few years traveling and just doing whatever I wanted. I said ohios cold, so I moved to FL. If I didnt like where I was, I just moved on. the only thing I like about here is my husband. i don't like the military, I dont like the snow, and I don't like the lack of culture.....

geneology: my great grandparents were from Ireland. county muster I think.. I belive they got married in cleavland, or at least northern ohio.... besides his name I don't know any more....

Suite 101?

"I'm guessing that you're not an only child"
you're right, I have a little sister, although we didnt really get along untill i got a car and she had to be nice to me if she wanted a ride. now we get along fine for the most part, I just don't like her 'boyfriend', but thats another issue entirely.....

Suite 101 is at http://www.suite101.com, take a look at it and follow the links.

I live by Ft Bragg most of the pop here is military.My family all males generally joined so I have tons in yet Im not real comfortable around the military either.I dont really have any advice to give you but I do understand your frustration.I once was a sahw with no car and no phone even.I hated my house and took all my frustration out cleaning it.Those were the days!Well really it was hard but not as hard as now when I have so many kids to care for but Im sure you will find a way out and hey the computer is a good way to pass the time when there isnt much of nothing to do.You said you really always made money yourself perhaps you could make a little side money hitting garage sales.I know military areas sometimes has alot of these b/c of the amount of moving.Then you could sell the stuff on ebay and fund a hobby or some other form of making money online perhaps?If you like the scrapbooking maybe the hubby could loan you the money to get started with one of those scrapbook in your house party selling jobs wich could help you meet the women on base without such social pressure and you could have a strong client area beccause I know pictures are dear to military wives too?Just an idea.