Baby won't take a bottle - need advice
I've been exclusively feeding my almost 5 month old dd. Her weight gain suddenly dropped off and she's in the bottom 3 percentile for weight. Her ped. suggested supplementing 2 oz of formula or pumped breast milk per feeding. However, the baby REFUSES to take any bottle.
Per instructions from my lactation coach, here's what I'm doing:
-I'm nursing at least 7 times a day.
-Half of these times, I'm using the Medela SNS system (supplemental nursing system- a bottle is attached to my shirt a tiny tubes leads away from it. I tape the tiny tube to my breast and the baby gets extra pumped breast milk this way.) Cumbersome and irritates the baby some, but otherwise works ok.
-I'm taking 40 mg of Reglan to increase milk production.
-Taking Fenugreek and drinking Blessed Thistle tea
-I'm drinking water all of the time
-I'm getting up at 3 am to pump breast milk (in an effort to increase supply)
I have a 4 year old DS who is needing my attention and the schedule I'm on takes up most of my day. I feel like all I'm doing is nursing and other things related to keeping up my milk production. The reglan is making me tired and I'd really like to be able to give the baby milk or formula in a bottle. I'd like just 2 hours to myself. I'm feeling selfish because the lact. consultant keeps reminding me that this is only a "dot" on the timeline for me and everyone else. However, I'm getting depressed... I so rarely even leave the house anymore. Every time I offer the baby a bottle she refuses it. I've tried most brands, Avent, the Adiri breast bottle, the one's you get from the hospital (similac), platex, evenflo, etc. Any advice?
Sorry for the long post... I guess I'm just needing to vent, even if I don't figure this one out. Thanks in advance--- Kay W.
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Hang on, Kay!
There were times when Josie nursed almost literally ALL DAY. John would leave in the morning and I'd be sitting in the chair in my housedress with Jo attached to the boob, and he'd come home at night and I'd be in that same chair, in the same housedress (ie, not dressed), with Jo still attached to my boob and a crazed look in my eye. This happened regularly. It wasn't to increase my milk supply (at least on my schedule), but because she needed a marathon session about every two months.
Your consultant is right; this is a blip. And you still need to do something for yourself. What you're feeling is transitory, and also normal.
My initial suggestion is to ask your partner to take the kids as soon as possible at night so that you can take a long hot bath, go get a latte (even to go) or something. Two hours to myself is nearly impossible NOW and I have an almost 3-year-old and a 6.5-year-old. But I find that every little bit of time to myself--every long hot bath--helps.
I know other folks will have advice for you too. You can get through this and still nurse your baby. Come here and vent all you need to. That's why we're here.
Lynn Siprelle, Editor
Oh, Kay
Kay,
My 7 month old won't take a bottle from me, but she'll take it from other people. I can't be in the room; it's even better if I'm not in the house.
Is there someone else who can give you a hand right now? You sound absolutely exhausted. Is there anyone who can watch the baby and the 4 year old so you can get a nap in every now and then? Since fatigue and stress can affect your supply, think of it as resting for two.
You're always welcome to come and vent here. This is a really hard thing you're going through, but we'll be here whenever you need us.
Angel
me too
My ds nesta is five months old now and he goes through these spurts where all he wants to do is nurse nurse nurse and I have three other kids although I am not having the milk supply problems I have breast fed 3 kids already so I know a bit about it and scientfic proof or not stress isnt going to help your milk supply.I wouldnt reccomend using the formula unless it becomes medically needed for your dds health because this will only further your milk supply problems.The very first thing you should do imo is get your two hours.Have your DH give the baby a bit of infant cereal to hold her over and get AWAY for two hours.Your baby isnt going to starve or hate you.Your breast work on a supply and demand system and your body I belive does know the difference between pump and baby.Fenugreek is good for milk supply but how much are you taking?Is your pee/urine a funny color any change in the smell of your skin oryour sex drive.These are all side effects of fenugreek and the dose to improve milk is rather large so perhaps checking on your dose can help.I get the best let down when im relaxed so try getting dh to give you a shoulder rub or some other relaxing thing before or while you nurse.Most of all please know that no matter how natural it seems nursing is freaking hard to pull off and can seem to consume you.I feel it all the time.My DH calls me boobs or moo cow when the baby is fussy he will say here comes moo cow or here comes boobs and it makes me mad thos he doesnt mean it to I feel like AHHHHHH all I am is a walking milk jug and I just wanna run out and buy formula BUT I know in my heart breast is best and those moments where I look down at him latched on happily falling asleep make it worth it.It seems your trying so many things to fix this....Maybe your putting to much pressure on yourself.Try one thing at a time perhaps and if it doesnt work scrap it and try another.If you have breast fed five months already then you have already beat the odds.Good luck and Im pulling for you.If you need someone to talk to during the tough time plz let me know beccause I am in the boat with you girl.
Ditch the bottle
Go for the sippy cup. My kids refused bottles after the first month (only used them for breast milk I had pumped). They also refused pacifiers after the first couple months, but continued to nurse. If it's too hard to get anything out of by sucking, try without the control valve.
Hang in There
My DD nursed all the time!!! It was really hard sometimes with 3 other kids. I agree with Angel my kids wouldnt take the bottle from me but would for someone else. And dont forget the more you nurse the more your body produces the enzyme that makes you tired. Do you have a girlfriend who could come over so you could take a long hot shower (prefer them to baths since Im 6 feet tall and dont fit in normal bathtubs). If I were close I'd help in a heartbeat!
Sending you lots of MOMMY POWER!!
xoxoxoxox
hang in there girl!!
Amee
I do live close
Kay, we always read someones plight on here and say "If I lived close I'd come and help!" I do live in your same city and have kids the same ages as yours. If you ever wanted to meet at a park or play place I'd be happy to keep up the entertainment of DD for a little while. I'm no breastfeeding expert but sometimes a change of scenery is as good as a rest. And if you were to show up in your pajama bottoms without brushing your teeth it would be no big deal to me, remember my kids are the same ages as yours! Right there, doing that!
Private message me if you want.
Kelly
I don't know whether you co-s
I don't know whether you co-sleep, but if you don't, you could try it and see whether you can sleep while the baby nurses. If she can get a lot of breast milk at night, it might help her weight and give you a bit more time in the day and a break from pumping so much. You might also try wearing her in the sling so she can nurse while you go about your day (I never mastered this one, but you might be able to find a La Leche League momma who can teach you how).
I understand that the "blip" doesn't feel like a blip at all. Danika and I had nursing problems for several weeks in the beginning and then again for two months when she was 9-11 months old. It took over my life and I felt like my life was going to stretch on like this forever, with no change. And I didn't even have another little one to care for.
My mom said, "Next week it will be better." Every week, she told me that, and she was right. Even a week seemed like forever, but it did give me a bit of perspective.
I feel for you. Nursing is hard work, and it never was (for me) the perfectly natural, prefectly joyful, supposedly effortless way of feeding my baby that I was lead to believe it would be. I just realized the other day, though, that on March 30 Danika will have been (self-)weaned for 4 months, and truly, all those rotten times have receded into distant memory.
((((HUGS))))
Danna =]
Another thought
Is the only concern that she's not gaining weight according to a chart? Is she otherwise healthy and happy and on schedule developmentally? Some babies are just small. If she's thriving, don't panic because she doesn't fit the chart. Myris, are you around here somewhere? She has experience with several of her children being "off the charts" small and they were/all fine--just small. That's how they grow em at her house, apparently!
What I'm saying (I'm still half-asleep): If the only problem is your child doesn't fit the growth chart, step back, take a deep breath, and be calm. Nurse her on demand, and if you don't cosleep, do give it a try; you wouldn't have to get up at 3 am to pump if you did that. I'd stop the SNS system if it's irritating the baby. Watch her closely for dehydration. And keep in mind that I Am Not a Doctor, just a mom with an attitude.
Lynn Siprelle, Editor
Things are a little better!
First let me say that you guys are SO GREAT!!! Just reading the posts and knowing that there were others out there pulling for me has made me feel great! I had a long talk with dh today and let him know just how out of sorts I'd been feeling and he took the afternoon off to help me--- he's a prince.
I drove to the store and picked up every bottle and nipple of every speed and sort that I had not previously tried...who knew there were so many? We wanted to try to let him do the bottle feeding. I took the advice about leaving the room (thanks Angel and Amee)- at one point I just went outside. At first, the mere sight of the bottle would send her screaming. However, she finally took the last nipple (regular gerber silicone medium flow)... I cried tears of joy. I think I was just getting so frustrated with it that she could sense my tension.
To answer some of the posts: DD likes to nurse all the time, but she usually nurses for five minutes and sleeps at the breast the rest of the time. I am able to nurse her in bed... but not as well as sitting up. Danna, I haven't tried the sling yet; I may have a girlfriend who could lend me one.
Lynn, really the baby's other developmental progress is relatively on track. She may just be petite (I'm only 5'1".) However, she was six pounds at birth and lost a little in the hospital. At her two month appt, she'd gained an average of 2 ounces per day. At her four month appt, she'd only gained 2 ounces (the whole 2 months.) She weighs 10 lbs today. The dr. was concerned that maybe I was having a "quality of breast milk problem." The lactation consultant said that was probably doubtful unless I was using drugs, in VERY poor health, or on a serious diet. According to her, even severely anemic women usually produce adequate breast milk. She says I most likely have a lower production. When I pump at 3 am, I get about 4-6 ounces. I know it's not a ton, but I figured that would be adequate for weight gain if she was getting that much at each feeding, but maybe not. I'm trying not to freak out about the weight gain, but my ped. (who's never had kids) was like, "couldn't you tell that your baby wasn't getting any bigger???" I felt like a moron.
I should have also explained in my first post that on Apr 2nd, I'm having a medical procedure that I have to take drugs (sedatives)for. The dr. said I'd have to pump and discard several feedings (plus the procedure itself and trip to the hospital will put me away from the baby for several hours.) Having the baby able to take a breastmilk from the bottle would seriously help things.
Talking to DH today really helped. We are going to have someone come and clean every two weeks. I called my mom and she's coming on Saturday to help me. I told DH that it was really important to me to be able to get back on the "every day showering schedule". He agreed that we should get together a plan to make that happen.
Kelly, you are an Angel for volunteering to help me!!!! I'm doing better now, but I'm emailing you anyway. I'm out in the burbs, but I'd like to know if you are in my area!
Thanks again for all of the WONDERFUL support!!!
-Kay
showering!
I'm glad things are coming along Kay! I had to laugh at the "every day showering schedule". Those things are so important!
Nursing
Ok, I've been reading these posts, and not saying anything, because yes nursing is best. But formula is fine. I nursed Angel for only 3 months, because she hated nursing. She is in the 99th percentile in height and weight. I only nursed Beth for 6 weeks, because I got sick, and dried up. She's in the 60th percentile in height. And I wasn't allowed to nurse Daniel at all, and he's average in height, and he weighs as much as his sister, who is 18 months older. And its' not fat. At his last drs visit, it took me AND the doctor to pin him down so that the dr could look in his ears. The dr even remarked on how strong he is for a 1 year old. If you can't nurse, it doesn't make you a bad mother, or anything. And your child will still be healthy, happy, and smart. Frankly, your child (and children) need a happy healthy mom more than they need breast milk.
This said, I want to say that if you WANT to nurse, or LIKE to nurse, then go for it.
me three
My baby never wanted the bottle or paci either so I am in the same boat..... i feel your psin.
You need a new ped
Your pediatrician should never treat you like you're a moron. As for pump-and-dump, I don't think that's necessary beyond a single pump from what I've read at LACTNET. It's very very likely your doctor has no real knowledge of lactation and anesthesia; few do. Let me see if I can find you some references at LACTNET: OK this look like a good one and even has a phone number for you and/or your doctor to call for the Lactation Studies Center.
You're doing really well, and you sound like you have a prince of a husband! What are you eating, by the way?
Lynn Siprelle, Editor
I know exactly how you feel...
I was stressed out with nursing and a baby who wasn't gaining weight too. Turned out that my problem was not making enough because of a breast reduction surgery I'd had two years previously.
May I say that your pediatrician doesn't know anything about nursing if he thinks that women have problems with breast milk quality? There is no such thing as "weak milk." My pediatrician said the same thing to me, and my lactation consultant said the same thing yours did.
The best way to find out if you are producing enough milk is to weigh the baby on a pediatric scale, feed the baby, then weigh the baby again immediately. That will tell you how much milk the baby's taken from you and if that's the average amount for a baby of that age/size. Your lactation consultant should have a scale or a way to get one for you. That will tell you at once if your baby's lack of weight gain has to do with your milk production or not.
If your baby is only eating for five minutes then sleeping at the breat (something my little brother did), she may not be physically taking enough milk from you.
My DD was a "sleeper". I'd have to wake her up to get her to eat, at one week old she would sleep seven hours straight during the day without waking once to eat (never did she do that for me at night, however). Things I did to wake her up or keep her awake: undress her, walk my fingers up her spine (babies HATE that), jiggle, tickle, or lay cool cloths on her head. As long as you're gentle and moderate, none of these things should stress your baby out beyond just stimulating them to stay awake. My DD never seemed overly stressed out about me doing these, anyway.
If you get her weighed and she seems to be taking "enough" milk from you, then there is another reason for the lack of weight gain which needs to be pinpointed. I don't want to freak you out, so see about the weighing in thing first before you go to any other reasons, ok?
I'm glad your DH is such a prince. See how easy it is to share your load and not try to do it all yourself? Best of luck!
______
May The Hair On Your Toes Never Fall Out
--Traditional Hobbit Blessing
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