Upsetting News

I'm *so* sorry to hear that, Susannah!!

They *could* amputate the foot - that's what they usually do when extremities develop gangrene. The problem is, if she hasn't been eating and her immune system is down, the risks of the surgery are extremely high.

My (mid 80's old)grandmother had her toe then leg below the knee amputated right before Christmas. She is in a care facility, her daily therapy is sitting up in a chair otherwise she is just being kept comfortable. It is very hard on my parents. I know my grandmother loves to look at the pictures of the grand and great-grand kids. Pictures drawn and notes written are probably just as special as five little visitors because she can keep looking at them.

The best to you and your mother and all the family.

Kelly

No advice but I am very sorry. I pray everything works out ok.

Don't feel guilty Susannah, you've got alot on your plate raising 5 kids. Your grandmother will be in my prayers.
Jamie Lea

My thoughts and love to you and your Grandma.

Honey xx

My great-aunt had badly ulcerated legs for her last couple of years and they made her horribly miserable because her mind was still active, but her body just refused to cooperate. Lots of things can affect your grandmother's ability to heal properly from a minor infection - sometimes things can be caught in time to prevent it, but it doesn't mean the staff did a bad job in letting it get this far. My great aunt was basically given morphine for her pain and had her dressings changed regularly, but then it wasn't just a foot, and it wasn't as severe as gangrene. I would imagine they'd have to monitor it. After all, surgery at the age of 97 is a huge risk, and if it can be avoided that's definitely what they should be doing.

None of that makes it any easier on you. I think it's time for you and the kids to get some handwritten letters, photos, artwork off to her. That will bring her some smiles and happiness, and will make you feel as if you're contributing in some small way. My aunt loved her small photo collection spanning many decades, way back to pictures of herself and her sister (my grandmother) in a play as young girls! Maybe your mother can find some old photos to bring back some happy memories.

It's horrible when you can't do as much as you want... you and five children probably wouldn't be the best thing for your grandmother just at the moment anyway!

{{{HUGS}}}

Kerri.

It's so sad when our elderly loved ones have to endure these troubles. As has already been said I imagine the risks of operating would be huge.
How about leaving the brood with DH and maybe just taking the nursing babe and going to visit?

((((Hugs))) for you Susannah.

My mom offered to keep the others while I go, it just has to be on one of her days off. Yes, having all the kids there really makes her nervous. She has unwarranted fears that they will pull things down, like the curtain around her bed. And I'm sure being in pain, it's hard to bear extra noise and commotion. I think the photos would be nice, except that her eyesight is so bad she can't really see them, but a nice big one would probably be appropriate. Maybe I can enlarge one on the computer and print it off. She likes treats, or at least she used to when I was visiting weekly, so maybe a Dairy Queen treat would cheer her up too. And something to read aloud. She asked the chaplain to read to her from the Bible the other day. I just feel so awful for her, trapped in that place with such pain. At least she does have hospice care, so they probably are doing their best to make her comfortable.

The nurse at the home told my mom the same thing, that amputating would be a huge risk for Grandma. So I guess they really are doing the best they can. I just wish there were more that could be done.

Susannah,

I'm sure this is all incredibly frustrating, but I'm so glad you'll get a chance to see her. If there's *anything* we can offer (other than our prayers, which are, of course, yours, please, please let us know. I've been thinking about you a lot, and keeping you in my good thoughts. Keep us posted. I'm glad she's got hospice care - they are absolutely the best at pain management. Does she like CS Lewis? That might make good read-aloud material...

Susannah, my heart goes out to you. This sounds quite serious to me, and I hope that you will be able to visit your Grandmother very soon.
You're in my prayers tonight
Rose

I'm so sorry about your grandmother. It is very hard when older relatives get too old for much beyond palliative care. My grandpa lived to nearly 95, which meant we had more than 10 years of knowing that problems that might normally be fixed through surgery were not considered options for him.

In a similar situation with one of DHs relatives he took just the new baby, which was a wonderful treat for her, without causing undue stress for her or DD4.

Anyway, lots of love to you!

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother's gangrene. I hope she is made reasonably comfortable and that you can see her soon.