Kids Say the Darndest Things
I had an idea for an interesting thread. I thought it would be cool for everyone to put down the cutest thing their kid/s have ever said.
When Angel was 3 my niece told her all about my nephew Jonathan, who died when Angel was only a few weeks old. A few days later, Angel and I were sitting in the car waiting for Kenny to come out of the store, and Angel looked at me and said, "Mommy, I don't want to go to heaven." I asked her why and she said "Well, they don't have any food in heaven.". I explained that Jesus is preparing a big feast for us, so she said, "Well, they don't have any potties in heaven, so I just pee on the grass." I managed to keep from laughing at her till I got home, then I called everyone in my family and told them what she'd said. My mom laughed so hard she couldn't breathe!
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What a coincidence . . .
I was going to start a thread like this for something goofy my DD4 said today. We were dancing around in the kitchen to the Jimi Hendrix song "Fire." As in "I have only one burning desire/ Let me stand next to your fire."
We've listened to it a number of times lately, and after the second time today DD says in her deadpan voice, "This song isn't really about fire, is it."
DD9 vs the coffeetable
(coffee table -1 -- DD9 -0 )
We had our first "child's head/coffeetable" collision yesterday evening. (I know, I know..we were due.) As we were cleaning up blood/getting ice/calling the Dr. to help us decide if it was hospital-worthy (not); DDjust barely9 stopped in the middle of sobbing and says "I don't like this very much," then resumed hysteria (blood induced...not pain)
Such clarity...it was almost funny
Thank God (sincerely) that we have not had to do that often (or rather...at all) I didn't like it very much, either.
Lenora
Not my kid, but my nephew
My favorite funny thing my nephew said (he's three) was, after sticking his finger in his ear, "Mommy, I've got an ear-wack!" She said, "You mean ear-wax?" and he said, "No, just one."
______
May The Hair On Your Toes Never Fall Out
--Traditional Hobbit Blessing
They Crack Me Up
When DS12 was 3 years old, he experienced his one and only spanking from DH. His response was to gaze at DH in wonder and say, "Nice shot Dad!"
When DD3 was aboout 20 months old she stamped her foot and yelled, "Damnit Boys!" because they weren't listening to her.
When DS13 was about 4 or so we had some friends over. DH asked him to get someone a beer from the fridge. In his best waiter voice he asked, "Would you like an ale or a stout?"
Kids are great laugh therapy, aren't they?
Spank
When my first was two he received his first and only spanking. Spank wasn't in his vocabulary so he looked at me with shock and horror and said "You banged my bum!"
Another One
I thought of another one. When Angel was about 3 1/2 to 4, she started 'noticing' my hubby, so he stoped letting her come in the room while he was using the potty. We talked about it, and decided not to make too much of a fuss about it, cause we didn't want her to get the idea that anything about my husband was 'bad' or 'dirty'. So whenever she'd walk in my hubby would turn his back, and say, "Can I have some privacy?". After a few months of doing this Angel said to me "Momma, kids have privates, but grown ups have Privacys!". It's amazing what kids hear.
2 year old with attitude
When my DD was 2 DH had an emergency appendectomy. After coming home from the hospital and getting him comfortable on the couch, all the kids rushed around excited to see him. DS's 6 and 8 at the time asked him about his lung expander( a inhaler type looking thing with a ball that floats when you suck in air to expand your lungs after anestisia). They picked it up and where taking turns trying to blow in it. DH said " No you suck." DD2 put her hands on her hips and in her loudest voice said "No YOU suck daddy!!" We all laughed so hard!
My DH was holding his stomach to keep him from ripping his stitches!!
My children keep me young!
Amee
It wasn't what she said...
it was what she did. When DD was a little over a year old, her Grandparents were visiting, and everyone was sitting around the table. For some reason, don't remember why, Grandpa asked DD where her cheek was. DD immediately put her hand on her bum. Grandma was crying with laughter.
______
May The Hair On Your Toes Never Fall Out
--Traditional Hobbit Blessing
Old fart
DD5 and I were discussing my upcoming birthday when I asked her if she knew how old I was going to be. She replied,"yes- 28!" I told her that she was right and then she added, "Mommy, you're old!" When I told her that I was actually a really young mommy she said,"No, you have lines on your forehead!" I told her that everyone had lines on their foreheads and she replied, very matter-of-factly,"I don't."
I'm thinking of asking DH for Botox as my next birthday gift.
Conversation this morning.....
DS7 was talking about his plans for the day and DS4 said with a straight face and all the seriousness in his little body "Mommy, I am gonna try real hard to not bite my nails or pick my nose today. I am gonna try."
Well, what more can you ask for!
Jana
logical
When DD5 was younger she decided that if we have a tumble drier, then the washing machine must be a tumble wetter - it's been called that ever since in the family.
One for today
Just in the last couple of days DD2 has picked up a new line that she uses in stores:
"I want 50 dollars please!"
Well, me too!
Shaun
"Home is not the one tame place in a world of adventure; it is the one wild place in a world of rules and set tasks."
-- G. K. Chesterton
What country are you from?
DS8 is very tall for his age, it is rare to find peers that can look him in the eye. Today he came out of school super excited:
"Mom, do you see that kid over there? He's taller than me and so is his sister! I asked them what country they were from and they said TEXAS!"
Here's a new one
Tonight, when discussing why cats like to burrow under the covers, DD7 asked, "Is it because it reminds them of their mothers wound?"
____________________
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing "Embraceable You" in spats.
-- Woody Allen
When introducing my niece,
When introducing my niece, she over heard me say "She's five" and corrected me saying, "My names not 5, my names Jasmine". Too cute.
Sunburn
My nephew saw his dad had a sunburn and the skin started to pill he asked him "Daddy, is your meskakin (mexican) coming off?" i've never laughed so hard!!
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