Sex Ed

I try very hard to give Josie just what she asks for and no more. Kids don't want to know more than that. It helps that she was old enough to understand what was going on when I was pregnant with Louisa. She hasn't yet asked exactly how the baby GETS in there. I'm waiting for her to bring it to me, and then I'll take it bit by bit.

Lynn Siprelle, Editor

My DD is just about five, and so far she has been satisfied with "God took a little bit of mom and a little bit of dad and mixed it together." She has not been too curious about how the mixing occured, thankfully.

She was extremely curious about my pregnancy (other DD was born just after her 4th birthday), and we were very forthcoming about it. She really enjoys human body books, so she knew the baby was in the uterus (although we all usually just said "tummy") and that it would come out of my vagina (Dad explained that -- it is not my style to be quite so graphic, but he was the one she asked.)

I like the body books, because they put the reproductive system in the context of the whole body. It's a biology lesson, just like talking about bones or muscles. That seems to take some of the heat off the whole sex thing. They get you using the right words, too.

I think having a book handy for the big questions might be a good idea. There are some good ones -- shop around.

Well, I've got 2 other (younger) children, but I've never had to REALLY answer the 'how are babies born?' question, because I have planned cesarians. So when she asked how it was going to be born, I just told her that the doctor was going to cut him/her out. It really let me off the hook. Although when I was pregnant with Beth (my second child) she thought that Beth was going to JUMP out of my belly button. That was so cute I almost didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't going to happen that way.

I haven't yet been asked anything I couldn't handle, and my eldest is heading towards 8! We have a book of the human body (DK style, but by a company called Kingfisher) and that's mostly been enough to cover what they want to know so far. Lynn's right though... if they ask where babies come from don't go into an hour long lecture about human reproduction. Keep it simple! You know what kids are like - if they haven't got all the information they wanted they'll keep asking questions until they do!

Kerri.

My mother told my brother and me "the birds and the bees" when I was in third grade, he was in fourth. That seemed like about the right time. I was disgusted that my parents did that, but I don't remember it being too much information at the time. Before then, mom just said things like, "babies grow in mommies' tummies and come out of a special hole between the legs" kind of stuff. She drew a picture once when I was five or six, trying to describe what went on with menstration, but it made no sense to me. A book's illustration would have probably been much better.

I suggest going to a bookstore or library and finding children's books that discuss the subject. There are many. I found some six or seven years ago when I was doing research for a college class. See if you like any and can take those messages home to your kids.

About funny comments on childbirth, when I was pregnant I was showing my 12 yr old niece my childbirth book and we were looking at the pages that showed how the baby descends from the uterus through the vagina to be born. My neice said, and I will always treasure this memory, "That's GOTTA hurt!" She was quite serious! And she was with me when I want to get prescreened for epidural/anesthesiology at the hospital and they showed us a video of an epidural and the subsequent birth. When the baby came out, she said, shocked, "It's BLOODY!" I love kids. Didn't end up needing an epidural after all, though, thank goodness. I can't stand the idea of a needle in my spine, no matter how safe the procedure is...I just hope this hasn't traumatized my neice!
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