Has she always been dramatic? If my daughter (oldest is started demonstrating highly uncharacteristic behavior on a regular basis I'd first start looking for reasons and stick to our usual discipline methods. Even if she's always been tempermental, it doesn't hurt to look for triggers that kick off a problem. (By triggers I mean things like being hungry (Is it getting close to mealtime?) or tired, having too much alone time or too much active time, too much screen time, etc.)

Looking for triggers doesn't mean you say, "Oh, you're just tired, it's OK." I was thinking of Lynn's question about how I would want to be treated. If I were reaching out for help, I'd want help. But if my reaching out for help took the form of being a total witch to everyone, I guess I'd have to stop that first, and a child needs to stop it as well. But if I were having a problem with frequent meltdowns, I'd say it was time for me to start looking at what I was eating, how I was sleeping, what my stressors are, etc., and try to prevent them rather than do damage control.

With our daughter, we had to do some thinking ourselves on what we considered acceptable. We are careful to distinguish demonstrating anger from disrespectful behavior, and we try to give some ideas about how to express anger in a healthy way. We try to make our discipline based on natural consequences, to the extent possible. A child who is creating a big scene is disrupting our family life and so needs to go somewhere else (like the bedroom) until she can be with us peacefully again. Same with child who speaks disrespectfully to a parent (there are degrees -- if it seems "accidental" I give a warning, but direct defiance is a one-way ticket to the room). If she's not disturbing anyone (including neighbors with open windows!) or damaging property (in which case, take away the property as a natural consequence), she's free to be as dramatic as she likes.

Shaun
www.redseahomeschool.wordpress.com