We havent taken any aftb classes as of yet but we have been somewhat active in the frg and they have offered us some good stuff as well as the marriage enrichment stuff the chaplians are doing(including sending us to a posh hotel at the beach for a few days!)
Those are some good tips. Since he has TDY'd now twice I kinda have a mini dose of this. I found out that it IS a fact that you and all the kids get sick right after he leaves. Now this is something some doctor should research beccause it really happens like 99% of the time Im sure of it. Maybe its the stress the family is under weakining the immune system causing some yet unnamed syndrome of getting sick in immediate relation to the husband leaving!
I have noticed living on post that there is alot more baddies than goodies out there. I find this most sad. We as army wives sharing the same burden should be supporting each other not bringing each other down. I see alot that spend to much time drinking and at the bars. The same ones that when they are home want to form mean cliques and gossip and make trouble. I stay on my side of my door for the most part. I refuse to become a part of that. Im to proud of my husband and I respect him to much to behave that way. One great thing is that my sister is also getting married to a guy in my husbands unit on april 28 and she is getting to move right across the lawn from me only about 100 feet away. So we can help each other and I know I can trust her. I do try to be kind to the other women though just not get involved. I have found myself carting in groceries for pregnant women with no husband at home. I have filled in putting together toddler beds and putting up curtians for one who doesnt know how to operate the drill as a screwdriver. I know its hard when there are just things your husband would do so I dont often say no. I have taken other peoples kids into my house that i barely knew so they could make a midnight run to the ER with a feverish baby. Most no one has family even in this state so we have only each other. Its very odd to have to give yourself over to the compassion of strangers so often. I am lucky my family is close by so I dont have to feel that way.
One day I found myself standing in an on-post post office cuddled up in my arms like a lover was a priority mail box covered in priority mail tape. I looked down and up the line and I saw myself repeated. Over a half dozen other women of various shapes and sizes and colours all standing in line cuddling thier boxes as if it were the man they were sending it too. Box sizes were different, we were different and yet we were the same. The woman beside me had completely wrapped her box in tape. She told me the last package hadn't faired well. I almost burst into tears at that moment. I could see it in all thier eyes. All these strangers and yet here we were all feeling just the same thing in our hearts. All of us trying to transfer the last bit of love we could into those boxes before we handed the to the postal clerks to be weighed and charges outrageous amounts of shipping. It was a longing we shared. This was how we felt close to the men we loved. This was our intamacy, our contact. We were touching the box and at some point not to be predicted he would touch the box. It was a solemn unity that held more sadness and yet more strength than I think I had ever felt in my life. I eyed a woman over at one of the tables where you prepare your stuff and she was trying to find creative ways to stuff just a few more things into a box. She had the look of a woman who is cooking dinner for her DH beccause she wants too. We are all just desperate to take care of them however we can. I couldnt believe it when it was my turn to pay up and hand over my cuddle box aka care package. It was going to cost me 11.00 to send my husband some soap, hand sanitizer,beef and cheese sticks, ceral bars, and a rolling stone magazine just to lousiana! The woman at the clerk next to me had a bigger heavier box. Her box was going to cost 39.00 to Iraq! We should be able to send them stuff for free! At least once a month we should get a freebie. It is after all, all we have. Next year for christmas I will be asking everyone to get me gift certificates to the post office instead of target ect.!
I know this is the life I choose and many would say I dont have the right to complian. I hear alot of women say this to other women. I think that too is unfair. I think we dont have the right to complain to our husbands but to each other I think its neseccary. We should let each other vent for our own sanity! I didnt mean to fall in love with an army guy. I just did. I couldnt discriminate against loving him for his job. I love him and you take the good with the bad. Some people say its not right for people to look at us and say the old "I dont know how you do it". Me , I like to hear that. I always say to them "I dont know how I do it either" it makes me proud to know that other compassionate people recognise that this isnt an easy life to live. Why should we get mad about that.
Alot of it is still new to me and Im sure It will be a learning process after we seperate from the army. Watching him deal with the transistion from soldier to civillian will probably be stressful too. Im ready to face this however, with nothing more than knowing he is worth it.