You know, when I first started staying home, I went from business school to home. My son was almost 1, but thought he could get away with anything!! hee hee. I still smile as I look back. Anyhow, he's almost four now (wow, just realized that), and I only found ONE thing that worked for us. Of course, everyone is different, but since I did lots of trial and error, I thought I could save you a wee bit, in case it works for you!

Anyhow, it was in the book, "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" (if you want to read up on the method in more detail).
First, the goal is to erase emotion when the toddler acts up (tough, I know), because they often WANT emotion from you for their actions. Then, I tell him to stop-calmly. If he doesn't, I tell him I'll count to three, and when I get to three, he gets time out (somewhere BORING, like the stairs). Then, I count. For the first few months, I had to almost hold him in time-out, because he thought he had rule and reign, and would just jump up before time was up (one minute per year old is our rule). I bought a timer, he had to hold it til the time was up. Anyhow, now all I have to do (once I've said no) is say, "ONE" and he stops. My 19 month old....we're still working on it, but it is helpful!! Plus, my goal of keeping emotion out of it OFTEN (not always) prevented me from blowing up at him.

Just an idea.