that and "life's too short" are my phrases to live by these days Zillah and I think you're in need of... something! Words of support and empathy are what I can offer. The costume would be the first thing that I would cut corners on personally, but it takes me months to get round to sewing a button on, so clearly not everyone's priorities are the same!

Keeping mother sane is one of my major priorities, but it's a full-time job thanks to everything else. My morning pages which would be so helpful rarely get written any more - maybe once a month. I've simplified Christmas dinner, ignored my father's jibes, avoided extras and anything else I can do to make my Christmas a bit less frantic. I still intend to enjoy my Christmas gatherings and since most of my gift and card recipients know roughly what my life's like these days (and the rest I care a lot less about!) they won't worry if things get missed here and there.

think of DH being away as a bonus Zillah. That's the time when you can get things done and the bits you need his help with will just have to be saved up to the weekend. I've lived with that lifestyle a bit too much to really be bothered by anything but the longest of absences these days. And I tend to find that when he's home my routine gets messed about and I get nothing done because the focus is entirely on him. Isn't that sad! Well hopefully things will be different one day but I won't hold my breathe.

Reduce, minimise, simplify... keep your sanity! And if you need to grumble about things you can't grumble about at home then you know we're all sympathetic and can offer all the shoulders you need.

Kerri.