Everybody seems to have answered your questions perfectly. What I do is ask everyone who's coming what their favorite holiday dish is--what's the dish that without it on the table it's not really Thanksgiving?

For my DH you have to have the turkey, potatoes, stuffing, and gravy. As long as those are on the table he doesn't care about anything else.

For me it's deviled green beans. My grandmother and mother serve these during holiday meals and I have to have them, there's no discussion, they're there.

To make the day over the top, you can find out if there is a way the family has traditionally prepared a particular dish that sets it apart. Do they do plain mashed potatoes or do they do the confetti mashed potatoes with the tiny veggies and cheese? Do they do cranberry relish or jelly? Do they do fresh corn on the cob, canned corn (creamed or reg), or frozen? Do the pies HAVE to have whipped topping or do they not care? If there's a special way to make it, see if someone will share the recipe or bring it with them, or both!

Do everything you possibly can the in the days before. Do everything you possibly can the in the days before. Do everything you possibly can the in the days before.

It bears repeating. Make your pies one or two days ahead. Make your breads, casseroles, and any other desserts the day before. Do everything you can on the stovetop since the turkey is hogging the oven (you do NOT want to try to cook anything else in the oven while the turkey is in there!) If something must be ovenbaked, do it before or after the turkey goes in or comes out.

I agree with making lists. You can never make to many lists. Having them to refer to when in the midst of a holiday of any kind is the best lifesaver second only to spiritous beverages.

I always advocate recruiting worker bees and delegating if at all possible. Some one wants to help? Besides bringing a dish to the party they can mash the potatoes or whip the cream, set the table or wash the dishes, make the gravy or watch the kids.

Also, think of the overall scope. Is this going to be a linens and fine china, silver, crystal event? Or is it going to be a Martha thing with a turkey or pilgrim them? Or is it going to be buffet style with second best china, everyday dishes, or (gasp) paper plates? Make all those plans well in advance and have all that set up and ready to implement the day before.

Get your all your food shopping done at least three days in advance. You don't want to be anywhere near a grocery store the day before Thanksgiving. Trust me.

Non-food related ideas, here:

Look into starting a new tradition now that you've set up a new home. One neat thing I've always wanted to so but haven't yet is to have a tablecloth on which guests can write things for which they are thankful, holiday blessings, quotable quotes, that sort of thing. You can either have them write in washable marker and embroider the words for posterity (Martha), or you can have them write with permanent marker and call it done (Erma). Every year you bring out the table cloth and if you feel so moved, add to it.

You could have slips of paper with Thankful Quotes printed on them that each person reads before dining like these at About.com:

I do not think of all the misery, but of the glory that remains. Go outside into the fields, nature and the sun, go out and seek happiness in yourself and in God. Think of the beauty that again and again discharges itself within and without you and be happy.
- Anne Frank

Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Lots of good stuff linked to that article on ideas to celebrate the spirit of the holiday.

And as things arise, ask us more questions, we always have opinions!

Anhata
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