those kids probably here far nastier comments from the white kids in their own neighbourhood so there'll be a little bit of revenge in there, but mostly it's like JJ said - one starts, hey all do it, and any difference at all gets picked on. Nobody would know my kids were half Chinese to look at them, but once DH had picked them up after school a couple of times they started getting picked on. I even had the police round here after squawking racism, but there isn't a whole lot even the police can do.

to some extent it's like any other bullying, and perhaps being white you're not used to it... some kids, some adults have to deal with it every day of their lives from almost everyone they meet. The fact that you wouldn't say those things to them won't matter. The severity of the situation and DD's reaction to it, in addition to your gut instinct will tell you best what to do. Let DD try and ride it out - making a nuisance of yourself with the coach probably would make it worse if you don't get a real response after one or two nudges. If she's still not happy then ask her if she wants to carry on or not. At her age she's able to decide for herself really, but let her discuss it with you. It's a good time to remind her why racism is so unpleasant, so she won't get drawn into the peer pressure thing herself if there's ever any unpleasantness the other way round. Maybe telling her that the bullying kids might be feeling hurt themselves would help her to understand, even if she decides she doesn't want to stay on that team. Understanding will help her to forgive too.

talk to her...

Kerri.