I didn't take this the wrong way at all. I've had a few people say, "What do you mean your children weren't reason enough to live?" and that's not really what I meant. What I meant was what (I think) you're saying here: Your friend loved his children too, and yet he's gone. Wanting to live for your children is no guaranteee that you actually WILL, no matter how much you want to.

Why I lived and he died, it's at least partially a mystery. I'm lucky in that I think I know why my heart stopped (a medication they gave me in the ER), and I think my heart is not in that bad shape, all things considered. It's wounded, but I think I've got a good shot at recovery.

That said, it's all exhausting. I'm doing better than I was when I wrote that, and I'm letting myself cry when I need to. Getting into the rhythm of family life again, that's what I'm working on now and I'm having a lot of trouble with it. We're a bit adrift still, the girls and I.

xxoo,

Lynn Siprelle, Editor