read the third of your books. I can't quite remember but I think I thought it was pretty obvious. Still, if you're panicking it's probably good to be reminded of stuff you aready know deep down, but forget when you start to panic. And it's good to start now, because I think it's downhill all the way from 6!! DS is very emotional about everything, both ups and downs, and although he's heading towards 8 he's still like that, and I've just had to learn to live with it and accept it. DD is more rigid, almost repressed, and although she's 10 she'll still have the occasional meltdown, and having held it in the result is usually not pretty. DH freaks out, but I lead her up to her room until I think she's had enough time to get it out of her system a bit then I go up to her.

They're all different and sometimes their reactions press all the buttons you have. Heidi's comment about not letting them have an audience is always valid. It hasn't stopped my two as such, but I think it might have minimised it, and they wouldn't dare do it in public, not a tantrum or meltdown. Deliberately pushing my buttons or constantly sniping at each other is a differet matter, and I'm still recovering from our little outing earlier to get DS new spectacles. It was exhausting.

Trust your instincts Anhata - they always seem to be spot on, and only the panic is obscuring them so you forget that you have a more genuine instinctive reaction underneath it all. Once you get past the panicking you'll be able to do what comes naturally and I'm sure it's only a phase (you not DD!). It sounds from what you said, like you tend to be a bit of a control freak... your comment on reading up to prepare yourself for motherhood was the biggest giveaway! So this is probably just your terrified reaction to not having all the answers. Sometimes your daughter probably doesn't know what makes her feel that way either - haven't you ever felt uptight yourself for no reason? Try getting her quietly to her room until she's had time to sort herself out, but she might be the type to prefer cuddles while she cools off. Draw on what you already know about this little person, which is quite a lot. And maybe you could plan a couple of alternatives for yourself so that the next time she throws a wobbly you have options immediately available and might manage to bypass the panic.

whatever else, remind yourself that it isn't because you've done something wrong as a parent and that you'll get a handle on it soon enough. Keep chocolate bars handy for yourself for the tugher times!!

Kerri.