but even if your miscarriages had been caused by either of the other problems they still would NOT have been your fault. I have polycycstic kidneys (genetic) - do you think I blame my mother for that? Do you think I could live with myself having had kids and passing it on to them (we think DS may develop it) if I kept blaming myself for a genetic condition?? If I had alcohol-related cirrhosis and liver damage it might be a different matter, but I fail to see how you think you can control the appearance or otherwise of insulin resistance/diabetes or polycystic ovaries. Maybe the diabetes in certain extreme cases, but not in genetic ones! You don't have that kind of control over your body so stop taking the blame for what you can't help.

ouch...sorry! That comes off a bit strong really, but I've had doctors ask me if I felt bad for having kids becaues of my genetic condition. Hell no! This is a condition they can live with, and a cure might well be found in the next 30-50 years when they most need it. So I refuse to be blamed for something that wasn't my fault, and wasn't my mother's fault either thanks. And you need to be realistic about what you can blame yourself for and what is well out of your control. You take good care of yourself Anhata from what I've heard - maybe you aren't perfect but you're doing a good job and don't let anyone, including your secret self question that.

look to the future and put your energies into being in the peak of health ready for the next time. Even people who aren't up to their eyeballs in folate from 5yrs before having a child can still have a healthy baby, so don't be obsessive about it or try blaming yourself. Not everything is within our control, though women have a really tough time accepting that.

Kerri.