This is hitting a sore spot with me Anhata.

My DD asked to go to school. Actually, she insisted on it. I think part of it is that her brothers are both in school, and her cousin/best friend is too. She is very, very social and wanted to see what she was missing. She loved preschool, and missed the playtime with lots of playmates each day. My heart sure broke, but I don't feel it would be right to keep her here if she doesn't want to be. If school doesn't work out for her, Hooray! Whoops, I mean, OK, we'll go back to homeschooling.

I also got sucked back into the school system because of my own inability to hold firm through a guilt trip. The principals I did tutoring for called with a special education position they couldn't fill and gave me the "The kids really need the help, and if we can't find someone, we'll have to just stick any warm body in there. They *need* you." So, I too will be back at work in a month, and I'm feeling very ambivalent about it.

I have loved this past 15 months at home. I have loved the ability to do my own thing on my own timetable. I have loved hanging out with DD and being there when the boys got home. I have loved the luxury of time to cook slow food and not just keep things clean, but make them cosy and pretty too. I really loved homeschooling.

But, I also believe that with the right mindset I can still be at home in my heart. And if I don't absolutely love the work this year, I'll be back at home again next June for good.

Hang in there, and know you're not alone.
Peace,
-Jo