As one who has witnessed abuse and neglect within her own family, I must say that I personally beleive that if you know of a child being abused or neglected you are ethically obligated to report it.

Since it's within your own family, logically the first person to talk to is the mother in law. You can research online and find different suggestions on how to approach her in a non judgemental or non threatening way. You could also approach it as you would an intervention. Depends on the dynamic of the family.

Once you've talked to the mother in law, the sister in law needs to know what has happened in the past, that you've talked to MIL and what may or may not happen from here.

Or you could decide to intercede in some other way entirely, there's no roadmap here that I know of.

The real question: is keeping the peace in the family more important that the safety and security of a precious little child? I personally do not think so.

I watched for ten years as my stepfather physically abused my older brother and emotionally and verbally abused the rest of us. Hardly had I escaped from that destructive dynamic then I had to watch my little precious neice live with her abusive, neglectful, manipulative, and in all ways grotesque mother. When her mother married it was multiplied...her stepfather was vile to her and encouraged his daughters to act the same.

I called family services, I begged my brother and mother to seek custody, nothing happened until she was almost thirteen (mother voluntarily relinquished my niece to her father and his wife). By then the damage was done.

I'm not speaking here about something I don't know about.

You have no idea what it will feel like in ten years when you look back and see that you could have done something. I myself am still tormented by the memories and I did try to intervene, at least in the case of my neice.

I cannot tell you what to do, only what my convictions are. But remember, you are not the only one who has to live with your decision, your nephew does too.

Anhata
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